Sgt Hartman

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Sgt Hartman last won the day on January 22

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  1. Sgt Hartman

    Weirdest/worst job interviews.

    WTF!? He'd be led out in chains today.
  2. Sgt Hartman

    Weirdest/worst job interviews.

    Seeing as this is being discussed elsewhere in the ether, I thought it might be amusing to hear your tales of job interviews that didn't quite go as planned. I'll start with my weirdest interview. It was to work in a bookshop and the chap who was interviewing me said that I was doing well so far and then asked what I would do if he called me a fucking cunt. "Beg pardon?" "A fucking cunt. We get some demanding customers sometimes." "In a bookstore!?" "Yes." "Ok, well I'm not sure what your policy is but if you called me a 'fucking cunt' at work I'd drag you to the door and stick my size ten up your arse." "Excellent." I was actually offered the job but turned it down. Too weird. Another was for a dull office job where the MD spent the whole time asking me why I wanted to work there as it was total shit and run by arseholes. Thanked him for his time and escaped...
  3. Sgt Hartman

    Football star goes missing over English channel.

    Yeah, I'd be highly surprised if them or their plane is ever seen again. A small plane took off from near here not too long ago for a flight to the Isle of Man. It disappeared and has yet to be found to this day. Very, very difficult to spot plane wreckage. I've come across big old bomber wrecks in the mountains and you wouldn't know it was there until you were just about on top of it. Spotting the wreckage of a tiny plane from another plane in shit weather in the Atlantic? Virtually zero chance.
  4. Sgt Hartman

    Fuckin' Weather

    I'd love to feed the birds. Unfortunately the birds feed the fucking local cats so there aren't any birds left to feed round here. Instead of being delighted by a small robin in my garden I'm 100% more likely to be disgusted by a neighbour's cat easing out a large one into my vegetable patch. I don't like cats.
  5. Sgt Hartman

    OMG! Thats is so like 1990s!

    'Liz Jones' levels of Daily Mail windup here chaps. Plus, 25k in the South between a family isn't being 'kept' not to mention a self employed builder on 25k!? My arse. The bollocks is strong with this one.
  6. Sgt Hartman

    Fuckin' Weather

    Sheet ice on all of the roads today. The school run was carnage. Highlight was an artic trying to turn and then serenely sliding sideways towards a load of waiting cars. You could sense fifty sphincters tightening instantly as it came towards them while the artic driver was wearing a distinct 'oh fuck' expression. Thankfully for everyone cars and undergarments, it stopped about four inches from the nearest car.
  7. Sgt Hartman

    Favourite Food?

  8. Sgt Hartman

    Worcester child acid attack in court

    If I were the Google car driver, I'd be wanting a few more quid for that round. Jesus what a khazi. Why chuck your litter like that? I can only assume they are happy living in their own shit.
  9. Sgt Hartman

    I've No More F**ks To Give..

    I absolutely love that. Cheers!
  10. Sgt Hartman

    Worcester child acid attack in court

    This crime is horrendous. What shocks me almost as much as the crime itself is that he could find six people willing to help him throw acid on a three year old. I'd happily see them all shot.
  11. Sgt Hartman

    Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites

    I saw her a few times where I used to live. Absolutely tiny but very fit. If I were Les, I would have taken some of that action even if I knew it was a ruse.
  12. Sgt Hartman

    luxuary items

    That might be my Sunday sorted. I won't be popular but it's for the greater good. I'll see if I can swap a bag for a bacon roll.
  13. Sgt Hartman

    Why are channel 4 such arseholes?

    Christ, I'd struggle with that. Pot Noodles for a seven month old? Jesus wept. One guy I went to uni with was a borderline hippy, Guardianista and full of the joys of his fellow man. After uni he went to work for a housing association and the next time I spoke to him - about a year later, he was somewhere to the right of Ghengis Khan and would have happily fed some of his tenants to the pigs. I watched a program last night about the Paratroopers and their training regimen and I couldn't help but think that sort of arse-kicking could do a lot of people some good. Even some of the lads admitted they had been dickheads on civvy street and the military had ironed it out of them. Wouldn't work for everyone of course but some of these people really need to be made to pull their fingers out.
  14. Sgt Hartman

    luxuary items

    To be fair, she does tolerate my obsession with buying outdoor gear and leaving my pants on the landing. So many bags though...