Sgt Hartman

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Sgt Hartman last won the day on February 6

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About Sgt Hartman

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  1. Is that cosmetic surgery or just some elaborate corsetry/push-ups? She looks, well I dunno. I think I probably would though her arse is comical. My biggest shocker recently was watching a program that included an interview with Catherine Zeta Jones. The program was discussing her role in The Darling Buds of May and good Christ she was absolutely stunning in that. Then came the interview and I was treated to the sight of someone who looked like they had stood too close to the back of an airliner as it went full power to take off. It was just sad TBH. She looked bloody ridiculous.
  2. I ended a contract with a client a while back so was perplexed to find 1.5k deposited by them into my account a short time later. I got in touch, told them of the error and received a magnificent lack of thanks for my efforts. I transferred the money back. A week later it appeared in my account again. I rang them, told them what had happened again and said I'd transfer it back and would appreciate it if they then pissed off. Thanks = nada. End of the month it's back again. Rang them and voiced my opinion on their incompetence and just general lack of togetherness of their shit. I also told them if it happened again, they could contact me for it's return and good day sir. Transferred. Few weeks later, back again. I never heard from them so I kept it. They've not repeated their mistake since though.
  3. I'd be an asset. If someone takes against you I'm almost guaranteed to get twatted first whether it had anything to do with me or not. The Hartman Punch Deflector Shield (tm)
  4. I lived in Headington during my final years there and that was going downhill at a rate of knots. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I lived in North Oxford for a while and that was about as genteel as it gets. Great town, I loved it there, some of the best pubs (and totty) in the country. This was countered by the epic shitness of it's clubs and the Orcs that dwelt within.
  5. I do seem to have been thumped while minding my own business more than most people I know....
  6. Surprisingly so. There's been a few places I've been out in that I've felt had a definate edge to them which I wasn't expecting. The Cotwold town I was in contained a lot of very punchy locals and another weird one was Petersfield. Lovely looking place but fucking hell, come 11 o'clock and I don't know if the coke was starting to kick in or something but it got decidedly edgy. Not chavs or kids either, people my age just being aggressive and lairy as fuck. Odd.
  7. Never understood it even back in the mid to late 90's heyday. My old haunt was Oxford and I used to dread it when the call was made to leave a nice cosy civilised pub and head towards one of the town's premier facial reconstruction and STD dispensarys. To be honest most of the time I'd just go home as the clubs there were so fucking grim I'd genuinely rather go back for a shuffle. If we went, it would be to a place called Park End that had been modelled on Aliens LV-426 with added 'oonce oonce oonce' and fuglier, deadlier creatures. Once inside you couldn't hear yourself, the bogs were unspeakable, the birds hostile and the chances of you getting your head stove in by a five pint Rambo were well above average. God help you if, as a scrawny white lad, you entered the R&B room by accident. You would be made to feel...ah...unwelcome To add insult to injury, you actually had to pay to get into this fucking cesspit. I vividly remember the last time I was there. Some hambeast spilt my pint all over me and laughed as she did so and, utterly fed up by this point, I fucked off just at the point where a previous ejectee threw a bottle into a bouncers face smashing face and bottle to pieces. All hell broke loose so I decided to cross the road into a kebab shop where I bought some filth, stepped outside and was promptly punched into my doner from behind. I fucking hate clubs.
  8. To be honest, anyone who gets that worked up about what someone wants to eat is galactic cock. Chefs are talented people with massively misplaced priorities.
  9. I'll give the man his due, how he manages to put up with being continually ambushed by fuckwits and journo's who are trying to paint a picture that doesn't exist is beyond me. That said, on one of his recent podcasts he said he was starting to grow very tired of it, finds it quite stressful and was considering backing off for a bit.
  10. Stands to reason considering the son he produced. Bellend, world class.
  11. Oh absolutely, when it comes to making the big bucks by acting like a grade-A cunt, Gordon has few peers.
  12. Apropos of not much, nobody has done more to damage the industry than this god-tier fucking twat. I detest him on a molecular level.
  13. Lasted 30 seconds of that, an overgrown toddler. A perfect example as I just can't understand how someone like that could function in the adult world. If it weren't for Big Brother she'd probably have been sectioned by now.