Mental Floss

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  1. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-51170406 Seriously what the fuck is this shit? Feelz <> reality and even the fucking headline is a lie As for what t actually means? Well on the face of it we have a cohort coming to live here who actively consider the environment hostile. They then successfully propagate this within their off spring. I've got an idea. If you don't like it here. Fuck off.
  2. "I don’t speed in built up areas" So just bumpkins on horses in the "don't care about" column for you then.
  3. This is just noble savage bullshit and needs to be called out as such. It's just another way of altering the environment so that it favours human occupation / usage. The idea that the aborigines are some sort of ecological giants is kind of at odds to evidence that they were directly responsible for mass extinction of the continent's megafauna. The idea that cool burning is the only way of achieving environmental equilibrium is rubbish. Also one of the primary reasons for use of fire in aboriginal societies was to hunt. Effectively driving animals to the fire margins to be harvested. Hardly the benevolent bollocks spouted....
  4. This made me laugh out loud. I too would totally give it a go. That's even knowing the jeopardy to my mortal soul. The thing is narcissists are fucking awesome at sex. it's like the requirement to appear awesome is directly correlated to the degree of filth / enthusiasm involved. I suspect that it would be awesome fun but very, very perilous. I mean the worst thing you could do is marry it and even then worse get it pregnant. DANGER WILL ROBINSON... DANGER!
  5. But what’s the value of one life?* * Note this is clearly insane bollocks but I’ve had wankers quote it at me when expressing the opinion that it is in fact impossible to make the world “safe” and stupid people will find a way to die regardless. See Thai facial firework display man for details......
  6. I had the pleasure of using a train on the new Elizabeth line the other day. Every excess (toilets, working spaces, decent seating) has been stripped away to maximise capacity. Honestly they are nearly just cattle wagons. Shiny new ones but even by modern standards this is depressing. In my lifetime we've gone from trains with individual booths where you could squirrel away as family / mates to effectively admitting the next logical conclusion is having people hanging off the outside of trains.........
  7. Doesn't matter. As a society we've become resolutely anti-authoritarian in these matters. Now I'm not going to pass judgement on this but would like to point out the much misunderstood parable of crying wolf. It's not that wolves don't exist but if you continually bang on about threats that don't exist, wolves will in fact eat you. The authorities now cry wolf so often that no one believes them. People will die because of it.
  8. Nope I'm just being a muppet and mixing my music up. I was thinking about night on a bare (or bald) mountain which for some reason I've conflated with In the Hall of The Mountain King. Probably because I've poisoned myself with the salty tears of the losing side today............. Though listening to it again it's an awesome tune.
  9. Hmmm. The morning after and totally happy with not participating in this shambles. BoJo is a posh, arrogant self-centered wanker. Those cheering his sizable victory should do so with some caution imo. BRINO awaits and he'll go for it full-tilt now in the knowledge that he'll probably be able to face down the ERG and deliver just that. Farage is out of levers to pull. Labour though. They are finished and the first problem they have is they can't understand why. The average working class person (imo obviously) doesn't give a flying fuck about gender politics, they don't care if Donald Trump once banged a stripper, they don't care about weeping Polar Bears choking on plastic. What they do care about is getting a fair deal in a globalised society and the Labour Party have sold them down the river and they know it. Unfettered freedom of movement is not good for the indigenous or even the recently arrived. Labour have been co-opted by a bunch of shrill determined (and demented) hard-leftists who have effectively purged the entire party of centrists. There is no way back. Labour is Momentum. They cannot win with that being the case as their message doesn't resonate outside their own echo chamber. The cancer is so big that excising it will kill the patient. Finally the highlight. Jo Swinson. You trampled my vote and I'm glad others used theirs to end your political career. Back to obscurity you go.
  10. This is funny to behold. So yet again the arch "we know better " crowd are throwing a mental because other people don't agree with them. My Facebook news feed is filled with the salty tears or the virtue signallers who can't understand why anyone would be so horrible as to disagree with them. FUCK THEM ALL.
  11. It has taken me ages to get this point but I've finally reached the "I honestly don't give a flying fuck" stage and all the virtue signalling "people died so you could enjoy this freedom" can also fuck off. On one hand you have a bunch of rich lying cowards and wankers who have honestly achieved nothing of any note whatsoever since they have been in power with the notable exception of realising the truth of the micawber principle. They have pointedly failed to deliver Brexit and will not under the leadership of Boris. Nothing has or will be done about immigration as the business lobby require access to cheap labour. They don't care it it's badged as EU or not........ On the other hand you have a bunch of big statist wannabe Marxists who simply don't understand that if you start effectively punishing success then people will either hide / avoid it or will actively choose to join those benefiting from state largesse. Their appeal seems to be based on throwing money at problems and expecting improvements to occur as a result. The NHS being the primary rallying cause. Having experienced the NHS it's not solely about money. Pressure on services due to demographics / immigration and shocking management is equally to blame. Given that Labour won't do anything about those more money = colossal waste / opportunities for trousering cash. Then you have the lib dems who are actively campaigning to ignore my vote in the referendum. Fuck you very much. I don't care. The Tories will fuck us over, Labour will fuck us over and the Lib Dems will fuck us over..... As for the Brexit party. Whether through connivance or utter incompetence they have arrived at a position of electoral irrelevance as well as slaying a previously viable political force in UKIP. Fucking idiots / cunts. I don't care anymore. I'm not depressed about it, just entirely ambivalent. I will adjust my position accordingly regardless of who wins and will be fine. I won't waste the leather on my shoes to participate in this charade. The Brexit vote should have been a clarion call regarding democracy, rather it has sounded the death knell. You can vote whichever colour you like, but the outcomes are set before you do.
  12. I got half-way through writing something similar before wondering if I were being a bit chippy. However, my view is very much aligned with yours. Unless "IT people" are working in a business where the software is the product, it's likely that in fact they should be aligning their efforts to supports the aims and strategy of the organisation they are working for. It may come as big surprise to them, but IT doesn't drive business requirements, that's simply not how it works. This isn't Field of Dreams ......... Agile simply allows "IT people" to concentrate on pretty much whichever shiny bauble is most likely to catch the eye of the exec. It's highly destructive. The disassociation from strategy and architecture leaves hugely fragmentary implementation where inter- dependencies are invisible and unmanaged and inevitably lead to conflict / failure. The idea that "IT people" are best placed to understand what customers want is laughable. Most of the IT community I've had the genuine pleasure of working with have absolutely no interest in the users of their systems whatsoever. A fair number don't talk to each other yet alone "real" people. Agile simply doesn't work at all outside IT and as soon as its proponents started stating that it was both possible and desirous they'd crossed into truly mental territory. Then there's the associated concept of "hot housing" which involves a bunch of people being locked away for an extended period of time to come up with prototype projects. Then there's the equivalent of a dragon's den presentational event to decide what if any ideas to take forward. I'll have to get shouty for this. THIS IS FUCKING MADNESS... the people best at presenting get their ideas looked at whilst those who may be milder just get ignored. Additionally all the real world concerns such as regulation, security, risk blah blah blah are totally pushed aside. Then when they try to implement these ideas in a large business they never ever work as they haven't been properly (or even at all) thought through. On one hand you've bot a bunch of people failing fast and on the other hand you've got a bunch of Six Sigma's trying to eliminate waste..... Perhaps the ultimate solution is a last person standing battle between lean Six Sigma and Agilistas
  13. Personally I fucking despise it. From it's wanky "manifesto" through to its fucking idiotic "ceremonies". It's just a fucking excuse to not do things according to any plan and then claim success whenever you want. It gives execs and programme managers carte blanche to descope things that aren't important to them, like documentation, testing, implementation support etc etc. It's probably fine if you're dealing primarily with UI design on some florist's website. If you're doing anything involving complexity with inter dependencies, going agile will fuck you up. Maybe not now, but in years to come some poor fucker will gaze upon the abortion of system that exists and wonder how anybody sane managed to design such a fucking shambles. I honestly wonder if Boeing went agile with the 737 Max... By the way, agile cannot be questioned in front of it's adherents. They get very defensive indeed. "Oh that's because you aren't doing agile properly" ... The thing that fucks me off more than anything is their attempts to be quirky nay even "cool". However when questioned it all falls to pieces and they get the ump. "Why's it called a scrum then? A scrum is usually two lots of people pushing against each other. Surely that's not what we want is it? Also scrums are profoundly unagile. The most important members of scrums are props. Their role is pretty much to be immovable.........." then we have "stand ups" fuck off!