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Southmartin last won the day on May 28

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About Southmartin

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  1. Southmartin

    Test if you're spending too much time on the internet

    I'm not completely sure, but I think my sarcasm detector is tingling...
  2. Southmartin

    Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites

    I can see the logic, but if you review almost al examples throughout nature, you'll see that the male of the species is always larger than the female. So I reckon you're female friend was just trying to make herself feel better after too many cakes
  3. Southmartin

    Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites

    To be honest, I don't have a problem with women (generally) having a few more sick days then men - this is just down to biology. Women's bodies have the ability to grow an entire new human inside them, then push it out too. It's not that surprising that they'll probably need more medical treatment over their lifetime than someone (e.g. a man) who's only experience in that area might have been the mother of all dumps after a pretty hot curry.
  4. Southmartin

    Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites

    I've known a few women who take sick leave when the painters are in as well ;-)
  5. Southmartin


    As already mentioned i this thread, i'm a bit of a carnivore. However, I do ensure that the meat I buy is from a reputable source that's treated the animals humanely. Do if it's beef then I ensure it's grass fed, and chicken - I make sure it's organic. In fact the local butcher know's everything about the places he buys from (and he only goes for places that he's inspected and/or have gold or soil certifications). It does cost more than the cheap stuff in supermarkets, however sometimes the sticker price isn't everything. For example, my butcher sells massive organic breasts (phnarr) for £2.50 each. However regular customers get a 10% discount. You try finding two organic chicken breast in Sainsburys' for under £6, let alone £4.50 -and his ones are a lot larger. Also it avoids having to keep checking that none of it is Halal. I once left a Subway as they said their meat was Halal and I refused to buy it. Barbarians. The way I look at it (and justify my animal-eating diet) is that I ensure they had a good life before I ate them, and that wouldn't have happened without me ;-)
  6. Southmartin


    whenever asked by vegetarians, if i'm one of them I reply: "I'm a 'level two vegetarian"... and when they ask "what's a level two vegetarian?" I reply by saying "Well you know how vegetarianism is eating plants, fruits and vegetables?... I simply eat the things that eat the plants, fruits and vegetables"
  7. Southmartin

    Storm Ali - yes, they called it Ali.

    Are we expecting to see live reporting from the So-Called BBC in conjunction with South Yorks Police?
  8. Southmartin

    Tommy Robinson thread

    Careful now
  9. Southmartin

    Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites

    True - don't forget their mothers also... If the mum's a divorced and bitter old hag who blames 'men' for everything that's gone wrong in her life, then you can be damn sure she'll be dropping little seeds of doubt and waiting for the day she can give it the big "I told you so" .. at least that's what I'd imagine might happen anyway. Cough
  10. Southmartin

    I have a cat on my boobs

    Are none of you blokes going to make the obvious Slocombesque quip about the location of said feline, and ask if the lady in question has ever had a similar experience – perhaps in college?
  11. Southmartin

    Danny Boyle fired from James Bond as he's too leftwing

    Simple plan I follow in regard to movies and TV etc, is to ask "Did Aaron Sorkin write it" If the answer is no, then move onto something else
  12. Southmartin

    Netflix/Amazon Prime bargain bin shitty movies

    Did you ever see the film Magnolia? If so then depends if you liked that or not
  13. Southmartin

    Netflix/Amazon Prime bargain bin shitty movies

    OMG i did this - stuck with it until the bitter end - when i was expecting a brilliant weave of storytelling that pulled all the strings together... didn't happen
  14. True My absolute favourite rebuttal was to her colleague (Clare Moody MEP) in the summing up near the end. Where she said we needed to stay in the EU to "fight corporate tax avoidance"... I looked over to my partner for the event (A pretty good Tory MP who'd beaten me in 2015, but hey, we were on the same team now) and asked I could handle this one. I then asked the audience if anyone knew where the largest corporation tax avoidance scheme was located? One guy knew and shouted out "Luxembourg", I then asked in anyone knew the name of the man who originally set it up? Nope, It was Jean Claude Junker, the current President of the EC when he was PM of Luxembourg.. I then stated that "Claire's idea to tackle corporation tax avoidance was to put the man who created the largest corporation tax avoidance scheme in charge of it...." When the laughter died down a little I asked the room if anyone kept hens, as I had a fox that would be perfect to keep an eye on their safety.. Honestly, you should have seen the daggers from her - she wouldn't stand next to me at the press photo at the end.