Happy Renting

5.1 is great for recreating the cinema experience in your own home. The front 3 speakers for the film, and the remainder for the sound of people slurping cola and rustling popcorn.

Proposals are for chads. Propositioning and importuning is the way to go.

Shame, it's a good strategy to catch them on the rebound.

I was in St Ives last week and a seagull tried to take my Cornish pastie. I was with an American friend on holiday, and for the rest of the week she was going on about how she couldn't believe I tried to punch a seagull.

Need a big woofer placed between the Left and Right speakers for the bottom end. I have head some great sounds coming from a front bottom.

Best Before 2008.

Other suggestions for proposal locations: Site of car accident. Public lavatory. Dock in Crown Court. Outside neighbours house as it burns down. In the audience in the middle of finale of school Christmas play.

My Uncle did that when he was up for molesting chickens, and the Magistrate told him he should have adjusted his clothing before the hearing.

She is eminently ponderable.

It would be quite entertaining to stage fake proposals in public places, with the proposee rejecting it in some outrageous way, to the horror of onlookers. At a funeral, for starters.

I'm sure she's a good lass on the straight and narrow path, but I'd derailleur.

Spotted this hover version of the Rover 45 recently. As many will know, Rover experimented with gas turbine engines from the 1950s onwards. The-jet engined 45 was aimed at the younger market, particularly in Liverpool, as there were no wheels to nick.

I like the idea of people preserving ordinary everyday cars. They are more of our history than the exotic cars, and some are remarkably rare now. I had a Cavalier like this; bought as a daily commute car, it turned out to be very practical and reliable. I really miss it and would prefer one to the Vectra that followed.

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His beak can hold more than his bellican. He can hold in his beak enough food for a week and nobody knows how the hellican.

Funny, my neighbour Mark Quee let us shelter in his garden too.