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About axolotl

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  1. 'In this series Poppy Noor discusses an issue concerning how we can build happy, well-run communities. But what do you think?' I would suggest dropping Poppy from a great height as far as possible from any community that wants to be 'happy' and 'well-run'. She's probably not Italian, so I do hope she doesn't culturally appropriate a parachute to soften her landing.
  2. axolotl

    Walk for the Refugees

    I'm glad 'tideyd01' has taken the time to tell us two of the current media sponsored tragedies around the world we should feel sympathy for. No mention of Yemen, Mali, Ukraine, North Korea and so on. Maybe they don't qualify, or maybe 'tideyd01' is waiting for the So-Called BBC to let him/her (probably her) know what to feel sympathy for next. She can then tell other people off for not feeling enough sympathy for this new conflict, and how these people, who perhaps respond with rational logic, rather than emotional feelings, are all far right Nazis.
  3. axolotl

    Walk for the Refugees

    The whole '#refugesswelcome' idea makes no sense. For every $1 that is spent on a person stuck in a UNHCR refugee camp, $135 is spent on a 'refugee' in Germany. 90% of refugees are left behind, often stuck in poor conditions, often women and children, whilst far more money is spent on those who can escape to Europe, the vast majority of whom are young men. These virtue signallers are encouraging state spending on jobless men, thereby reducing spending on vulnerable women and children. How progressive.
  4. axolotl

    I'm a BLT

    The So-Called BBC's comedy controller (that's a laugh) thinks Monty Python is unoriginal because he can't see past the colour of their skin. The way to solve this is obviously by selecting minority comedians with underrepresented stories. So now we have the black female comedian making jokes about being a black female in Britain, followed by the trans lesbian dwarf making jokes about being a trans lesbian dwarf in Britain, with not a dead parrot or Socratic goal in site. How's that for originality? And the comedy is just as dead as the parrot.
  5. Seems like a good enough reason as any to post a Northern Soul Girl video.
  6. axolotl

    It’s true, money really can’t buy taste

    I can't see what they're doing wrong. They've got the wide-angle lens. Filters on the photos. Brando on the wall. Oh wait. Twigs. Where are the twigs in vases!? No wonder he can't shift it.
  7. axolotl

    Evening standard posts a 10 million loss

    Maybe, rather than everyone looking at them for 2 minutes before lazily discarding them to then be collected and put in the bin, they're just now printing them and putting them straight in the bin. It's like they're cutting out the middleman and saving everyone 2 minutes which they can now use to stare at their phones.
  8. axolotl

    Evening standard posts a 10 million loss

    The Standard never wants to wait to be tomorrow's fish and chip paper.
  9. Lee Hurst needs to take a leaf out of Frankie Boyle's book and become a raging SJW, rushing to the defence of women and brown people with the power of his keyboard. He's on Twitter enough, but so far seems resistant to the indoctrination. He just needs to Tweet more jokes about Trump's small hands and silly hair. Perhaps the So-Called BBC will notice and give him his own show like Frankie's so he can laugh at Trump on TV too. He'll still be hideously white of course. For some minority points, perhaps he could grow a ginger beard, start wearing glasses and grow unusually large earlobes. Or do bespectacled, lobely well-endowed ginger nuts not count?
  10. axolotl

    Would you do Voodoo?

    It's just an example of cultural diversity the So-Called BBC loves so much. I'm going to have some Polish cabbage washed down with Nigerian/Liberian/British worm blood. Diversity makes us stronger. Therefore, rubbing powder into cuts makes us stronger. Or something like that. I need to wait for the next Trudeau tweet before I can form the correct opinion on this.
  11. Is that the lady who complained about the praying at speakers corner and was arrested for an alleged assault?
  12. axolotl

    The New Football

    I would ban vuvuzelas and air horns from all matches. Anyone caught with one will be locked in a soundproofed padded cell retrofitted in each stadium. In the cell the sound of a million vuvuzelas will be piped in and a giant TV screen will display the highlights reel of Luke Chadwick's career on a permanent loop. At random intervals, the vuvuzelas will be paused and replaced with Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend commentary. The person is free to go at the end of the match, or when they have lost their mind, whichever occurs first.
  13. axolotl

    Time for a new laptop?

    OK. I'm only really interested in blue fluff. Where are you going to put your burnt hair and dead flies now?
  14. axolotl

    Time for a new laptop?

    What colour was the fluff?