fooked

Stupid fucker said “have you got enough yet?” to the camera crew filming his clap.

We’re doing about 20% of the business we did before lockdown. There’s no way when restrictions are lifted that we’ll suddenly jump back up to previous levels. I’d be amazed if we hit 50% by end of the first year. Based on that I can see 30% of the staff going, maybe more.

Have you tried viagra?

Only posh people could afford a BBC Micro! Us plebs had to make do with a Spectrum/ZX81. If you were middle class you had a Vic-20 Who remembers the wobbly RAM pack ?!

Bugging me all night, found it !

Christ I remember playing that. What was it called? Wasn’t written by the same bloke that did Football Manager was it?

Years ago I used to do quite a bit of scuba diving and we would often use nitrox mixes to be able to go deeper for longer (ooer!). At the end of a trip we wouldn’t dive on the last day because of flying. Although one one trip a couple of our group did collapse on the plane and had to spend a week in decompression.

Nurse: “Doctor!! We’ve got a stiff in Bed 7”

Who said that?

We should give him credit though, he's lived through the most severe form of the virus...the celebrity strain.

Matt Hancock has spoken of how close he came to death. He told Good Morning Britain that he had "..a very, very sore throat. I couldn't eat or drink". "The worst bit was on the way down [to a sore throat]... worrying how bad it would be.." It makes me feel warm and cudddly knowing we have top people at the top doing top jobs. I'm going outside right now for a clap.

Just thought I'd pop down to the pool for my morning swim, can you fucking believe it ???????

Anyone else think the Business Secretary's presentation sounds just like Sir Norman Fry from Little Britain ? "Carlos, if you've had the X-Ray, please can you return my watch"

UK stats today : Deaths 563 152979 tested, 29,474 positive.