Option5

Christmas, it's cold and there's nothing to do 'cause everywhere is closed. Bah humbug!

Just filled in a questionnaire to join a GP practice. Apparently my bottle of red wine twice a week is bad for me. The fact that they're drunk over a 10 hour period doesn't count. Not been drunk for 30 years but apparently I'm borderline alcoholic

Or because holidays are the first thing to go when people are broke but can't give up the new Audi on PCP or sell the negative equity house.

So, I'm ok then

Even if we wear our tinfoil hats?

Sumburgh brings back memories, I bet it's galloped into the 18th century since I last visited in 1998

If we don't speak how do Cortana, Siri and Alexa take over the world?

Dogalytic converters?

Which one are you, Zagar or Evans? (Stupid me that was 2525) I bought a second hand time machine next week, I could have bought a new one but they don't make them like they will do.

Love thy neighbour.

Dried peas don't come in tins. Ok, ok, sorry for being a pedant

Just seen this Kleenex bins 'Mansize' tissues - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-45899784 It's beyond a joke now.

I don't see what the panic is, in 1980 Flash Gordon only had 14 hours to save the Earth and he managed it.

Oneitis is the precursor to Dilligaf. You're almost there