Option5

Better as a boat

The last place I rented in the UK was really nice but overpriced and the letting agent was a complete tosser. I made an offer of what I was prepared to pay and how much deposit I was willing to pay. They told me to fuck off so I found the owner's name and sent them a letter to the flat working on the theory that the mail would be redirected. Three days later I got a call from the agent offering me the same terms I offered, next day I got a letter off my new landlady saying she'd never use the robbing bastards again

I just change the barrels in the Yale locks when I move in and put theirs back in for appointments or when I move out. 10 minute job means they can't get in when I'm not there without leaving evidence or hiring a locksmith. One block I lived in changed the communal area locks and issued new keys, I signed for mine and didn't give one to the agents.

I knew a woman who bought the passport of someone with a student visa who'd given up and gone home. For £400 she got the passport and NI number. (the student had worked part time). Worked hard, found a boyfriend etc. Got engaged, flew home as the student and applied for a marriage visa in her real name, got married, had a good job eventually got a British passport. She decided to confess to this to me when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She did say it's big business in a certain West African country.....

I think people assume that the one they heard first is the original. I was in the car with my daughter when they played Heartbeat by Buddy Holly, when it finished I asked her what she thought of it. Not bad she said, but not as good as the original by Nick Berry. Can you divorce your children? Back in the last century a lot of what we considered to be originals were actually covers of American songs.

Well he is in showbiz, I know a song about it: I'm Putin' on my top hat Tyin' up my white tie Brushin' off my tails I'm dudin' up my shirt front Putin' in the shirt studs Polishin' my nails I'll get my coat......

Just had a look on Zoopla at 2/3 bed apartments in Londonistan. Sorted them by biggest price reduction, now I can't stop laughing

It wasn't mine, it belonged to a mate who rang me up and asked me to drive it home for him because it started raining and he was terrified of it.

Testarossa was OK unless you wanted to do anything ambitious, like stop, or go round corners.

Idiot, I can't stand mayonnaise 🤢

365 GTB/4 Daytona Shooting Brake. The Testarossa was awful to drive, engine was too heavy and mounted on top of the gearbox. Not as bad as the FF though with two gearboxes......

Paid £5400 in 2006

Brilliant

Typical insular Island mentality

Don't we all?