Option5

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  1. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from The Masked Tulip in British holiday bookings to France plummet   
    Or because holidays are the first thing to go when people are broke but can't give up the new Audi on PCP or sell the negative equity house.
  2. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from The Masked Tulip in British holiday bookings to France plummet   
    Or because holidays are the first thing to go when people are broke but can't give up the new Audi on PCP or sell the negative equity house.
  3. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from maudit in British holiday bookings to France plummet   
    Just filled in a questionnaire to join a GP practice. Apparently my bottle of red wine twice a week is bad for me. The fact that they're drunk over a 10 hour period doesn't count.
    Not been drunk for 30 years but apparently I'm borderline alcoholic
  4. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from The Masked Tulip in British holiday bookings to France plummet   
    Or because holidays are the first thing to go when people are broke but can't give up the new Audi on PCP or sell the negative equity house.
  5. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Byron in 68 days to christmas   
    Christmas, it's cold and there's nothing to do 'cause everywhere is closed. Bah humbug!
  6. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from maudit in British holiday bookings to France plummet   
    Just filled in a questionnaire to join a GP practice. Apparently my bottle of red wine twice a week is bad for me. The fact that they're drunk over a 10 hour period doesn't count.
    Not been drunk for 30 years but apparently I'm borderline alcoholic
  7. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from maudit in British holiday bookings to France plummet   
    Just filled in a questionnaire to join a GP practice. Apparently my bottle of red wine twice a week is bad for me. The fact that they're drunk over a 10 hour period doesn't count.
    Not been drunk for 30 years but apparently I'm borderline alcoholic
  8. Upvote
    Option5 reacted to spunko in 68 days to christmas   
    It sounds like my ideal Christmas. I'm getting better at avoiding it with every passing year, I knew it was near last year  due to the expiry date on my bottle of milk. 
    I'm not really a scrooge as I like the idea of being around family at Christmas to an extent I just hate the consumerism. 
  9. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from The Masked Tulip in British holiday bookings to France plummet   
    Or because holidays are the first thing to go when people are broke but can't give up the new Audi on PCP or sell the negative equity house.
  10. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from The Masked Tulip in British holiday bookings to France plummet   
    Or because holidays are the first thing to go when people are broke but can't give up the new Audi on PCP or sell the negative equity house.
  11. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Inoperational Bumblebee in Foodbank Watch 2018   
    Pet food is actually fit for human consumption by EU law. We used to carry tinned cat food in the car when we went out in winter in Kazakhstan (-40 is very cold) in case we got stuck, it meant it would only get eaten when absolutely necessary. Chocolate bars on the other hand got eaten if we stopped at the traffic lights
  12. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from whocares in 5g and Bristol University suicides   
    Dried peas don't come in tins.
    Ok, ok, sorry for being a pedant
  13. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Kwyjibo in Golly gosh words we no longer use   
    Which one are you, Zagar or Evans?  (Stupid me that was 2525)
    I bought a second hand time machine next week, I could have bought a new one but they don't make them like they will do.
  14. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Kwyjibo in Golly gosh words we no longer use   
    Which one are you, Zagar or Evans?  (Stupid me that was 2525)
    I bought a second hand time machine next week, I could have bought a new one but they don't make them like they will do.
  15. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Kwyjibo in Golly gosh words we no longer use   
    Which one are you, Zagar or Evans?  (Stupid me that was 2525)
    I bought a second hand time machine next week, I could have bought a new one but they don't make them like they will do.
  16. Upvote
    Option5 reacted to Chewing Grass in 5g and Bristol University suicides   
    I found the whole higher education system thoroughly irritating rather than depressing as 75% of the students and lecturers were utter tossers and that was more than 3 decades ago so it must be much worse now anyone with a student loan gets in.
  17. Like
    Option5 got a reaction from Admiral Pepe in Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites   
    Oneitis is the precursor to Dilligaf.
    You're almost there
     
  18. Like
    Option5 got a reaction from Admiral Pepe in Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites   
    Oneitis is the precursor to Dilligaf.
    You're almost there
     
  19. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from JFK in The make us laugh or fuck off thread   
    I propose that all wedding receptions should be held at McDonalds, that way the groom can get his last ever Happy Meal
  20. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Alonso Quijano in Dr Who Bingo   
  21. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from One percent in The make us laugh or fuck off thread   
    A farmer got a call from his farm hand.
    "I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive! What shall I do?"
    The farmer says " Shoot it and then bury it"
    Around 20 minutes later he gets another call.
    "Done that, now what should I do with it's  squad car and speed camera."
  22. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Craig in Best Songs of the Eighties   
    Armageddon days are here (again)
    The The. Album "Mind Bomb"
    They're 5 miles high as the crow flies
    Leavin' vapour trails against a blood red sky
    Movin' in from the East toward the West
    With Balaclava helmets over their heads, yes!
    But if you think that Jesus Christ is coming
    Honey you've got another thing coming
    If he ever finds out who's hi-jacked his name
    He'll cut out his heart and turn in his grave
    Islam is rising
    The Christians mobilising
    The world is on its elbows and knees
    It's forgotten the message and worships the creeds
    It's war, she cried, It's war, she cried, this is war
    Drop your possessions, all you simple folk
    You will fight them on the beaches in your underclothes
    You will thank the good lord for raising the union jack
    You'll watch the ships out of harbour
    And the bodies come floating back
    If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
    He'd be gunned down cold by the C.I.A.
    Oh, the lights that now burn brightest behind stained glass
    Will cast the darkest shadows upon the human heart
    But God didn't build himself that throne
    God doesn't live in Israel or Rome
    God belong to the yankee dollar
    God doesn't plant the bombs for Hezbollah
    God doesn't even go to church
    And God won't send us down to Allah to burn
    No, God will remind us what we already know
    That the human race is about to reap what it's sown
    The world is on its elbows and knees
    It's forgotten the message and worships the creeds
    Armageddon days are here again
  23. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Carl Fimble in Cycling   
    Bankers or bunkers?
    Anyhow, we have a fairway to go before it comes to that.
  24. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Inoperational Bumblebee in Credit deflation and the reflation cycle to come.   
    You mean like Norway did/do?
    Despite good 'A' level results my lad's an apprentice welder.................
  25. Upvote
    Option5 got a reaction from Inoperational Bumblebee in The normalisation of female obesity   
    I thought the same, it also occurred to be that I would have used another term rather than "ground-breaking"
    I wonder if she has her own gravity field?