Gordie Lastchance

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  1. Gordie Lastchance

    Christmas traditions

    And Mrs XYY will be gently singing to herself: "Your Ding Dong's Merrily Oh Why?"
  2. Gordie Lastchance

    Macron - how long before wheels fall off

    #Fakenews I've studied the picture again. It's not in France. That's one of the new vehicles that a parcel firm has bought for deliveries in some of the tougher parts of Yorkshire!
  3. Gordie Lastchance

    Macron - how long before wheels fall off

    Are things so bad, financially, in France that the country is having to apply for EU funding to pay for armoured cars now? I've seen loads of those stickers on things like bridges in Scotland and the slogan "funded by the European Union". Imagine what kind of anti-protester equipment they'll be buying with the £39billion windfall from Brexit!
  4. Gordie Lastchance

    Macron - how long before wheels fall off

    Let's not forget the year 2000 in dear old, quiet, law-abiding, easy-going Blighty, and the eight days of fuel protests which brought the country to its knees. Yup, eight days. And it only ended because the protesters called it off, having made their point. It started off small scale, but soon grew. Remember the filling stations running dry? The government crisis meetings? Supermarket panic-buying? Traffic go-slows? Back then, crude oil was $35 a barrel. We were paying 80p a litre for petrol. The Frenchies may be on to something here.
  5. Gordie Lastchance

    O2 network down

    Does that mean you've now got two internets? I don't use the internet - it's full of nutters!
  6. Gordie Lastchance

    End of the world on its way - seismic

    If you'd like to keep your disdain at cryptocurrencies for its own thread, thank you. And it's spelled fecking - unless you've borrowed Spy's ketbroad.
  7. Gordie Lastchance

    The make us laugh or fuck off thread

    It has just been announced by Dell that a new computer will be introduced to the market in the near future. It's the Bill Clinton model featuring a 6 inch hard-drive and no memory.
  8. Gordie Lastchance

    Tip shop

    I was going to suggest getting a ride-on but, knowing the dirty minds of Dosbodders, who knows what turns that might've taken!
  9. Gordie Lastchance

    Tip shop

    I am so glad I'm alone in the house, otherwise I'd be carted off in a straitjacket for laughing at a computer screen! Dosbods is therapy - it should be on the NHS because it and its members always lift my spirits!! I reckon your mower's good for another couple of years at least. But when it does bite the dust, don't bury it without stripping it of all its vital bits. #turfnet
  10. Gordie Lastchance

    Tip shop

    I feel your pain! My Flymo (getting on in age, it's one that has the wee window to show how much grass weeds I've collected) began to play up two years ago. Either wouldn't switch on without a lot of aggro or wouldn't switch off. But I'd taken the switch off my previous one. I'm a terrible hoarder and my mantra is to save stuff just in case. I'm not great with electrical DIY, but managed to swap the switches over. Although I had to leave two wires, connected through a terminal strip, dangling, it works and I haven't electrocuted myself. Yet. Good luck on getting a switch - would ebay have anything that suits? Your mower will be like mine - everything else works fine and it'd be a damn shame to have to scrap it because of a tiny component on the fritz. I also kept the cable from my old Flymo and used it to rig up a light in the garage. That hasn't killed me either. Yet!
  11. Gordie Lastchance

    Tip shop

    Believe it or not, this is so true. I know someone who worked with a council's leisure services department. He spoke about their canoes being renewed. They had models which had been well looked after (they had to be) and were in excellent condition, but were being replaced as part of a rolling programme. These older ones were not just sent to the tip, but cut into three or four bits before they were dumped - so that no-one could use them. He said selling them second hand would've generated good money for their budget, but no, someone in legal services said there was a risk that the council might be sued by someone who had bought one of them. He was sick at seeing such good quality stuff going to landfill. Nuts.
  12. Gordie Lastchance

    The make us laugh or fuck off thread

    A Liverpool girl goes to the welfare office to register for child benefit. “How many children?” asks the welfare officer. “Ten,” replies the Liverpool girl. “Ten?” says the welfare worker. “What are their names?” “Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan.” “Doesn't that get confusing?” "Nah,” says the Liverpool girl. “It’s great, because if they are out playing in the street, I just have to shout ‘Nathan, yer dinner’s ready!’ Or ‘Nathan go to bed now!’ and they all do it.” “What if you want to speak to one individually?” says the curious welfare worker. “That's easy,” says the Liverpool girl. “I just use their surnames.”
  13. Gordie Lastchance

    Worst Wigs

    Gerra room! Some of us more genteel Dosbodders have stomachs that are far too weak for that kind of talk. So would you kindly, when posting about your need for a gaysome love-in, preface it with some kind of cinema-type warning system, so we know what's coming! Oh, and while you're at it, change your avatar to John Inman!
  14. Gordie Lastchance

    How Populist are you?

    If you look at that image as a map of the north-east of Scotland (Moray coast along the top, Aberdeenshire coast down the right-hand side) you're floating somewhere out in the North Sea!!
  15. Gordie Lastchance

    Mince pies

    I reckon @The XYY Man prefers hairy pies!