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About Calcutta

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  1. I've lived in houses where the fuseboard was being soaked regularly, various circuits just didn't work anymore, some tripped constantly, there were wires bloody everywhere and nothing ever caught fire.
  2. Was on an island called Ihla Grande off the coast of Brazil, little place, mostly Brazilian student age kids staying in little hostels. The days when the cruise ships set ashore were proper weird, for a few hours the dockside was full of fat red Yanks with cameras.
  3. Known a couple of lads who worked on cruise ships, they said it was a lot of gay stuff between the staff and occasionally banging an old lady for money.
  4. Was on a ferry between Jakarta and Medan for a couple of days. When they were checking everyone's tickets they locked the doors so we were trapped on the floor with our bunk. I went fucking mental, imagine locking people inside a fucking dodgy rusty old piece of shit ferry. After that i took all my shit and set up camp on the deck incase it went down. It was alright up there, nice breeze, few cunts looking at me but was well used to that.
  5. Got dragged to some cathedral in Lima, mainly to see some bones in the basement. But on the obligatory tour we were treated to a room with paintings of all the old bishops or priests or whatever - every one of the old nonces had a naked little boy in the picture with him. Sick fuckers.
  6. That was a bit of a blag as well by most accounts.
  7. Yep, welcome to the hole. Think it was 2007 when I saw The Great Global Warming Swindle, went down the hole and never climbed out.
  8. Yep, that's how it goes. Pbuh.
  9. Not quite as funny as when some Geordie put Kieran Dyer on eBay but still pretty good, fair play to the Times for printing it.
  10. Launched a one man stage invasion at Camden Palace once, got dragged out the back and then battered right around to the front, was a good night.
  11. I get pissed in the park and talk bollocks to homeless people.
  12. I look forward to the day when both major parties are headed by black men. Not for any racial stupid reasons simply because watching Kwasi Kwarteng tear Lammy or Umuna apart every week would be hilarious.
  13. Him and Snowden could have been sat under the palm trees on a beach in Ecuador or Venezuela, instead Ed's stuck waiting for the golag and Assange has spent 7 years wiping shit on the walls of what is basically a bedsit.
  14. First night in Cairns I got shitfaced and thrown out of the Woolshed, woke up the next day having missed my tour out to the reef. Ran down to the docks, explained to the guy, he was sound AF, booked me for free onto the next days boat. Can't fight with that really. Most people are dicks, you gotta remember the decent ones.