Butthead

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  1. Thanks for that, I broadly agree with your broad agreement! I was thinking about your two comments quoted above though. Are you sure that's true? I wonder if men's body shapes do vary as much as women's, but we don't notice as much. Perhaps partly due to societal norms, women are judged more aesthetically which means women's aesthetics are noticed more by men and women. Or perhaps partly because women typically wear clothes which reveal their body shapes more, a man can get away with a loose jumper or polo shirt, a woman has to wear a fitted top, men's jeans are typically fairly relaxed in fit, women's are more figure hugging, as examples?
  2. Not sure that's strictly true or fair. Women are judged aesthetically far more than men, and while they can mostly control their weight they can't control their proportions, their facial beauty, their hair, their skin, etc etc. The woman in that picture is pretty with long slender limbs and natural blonde hair - all SHE needs to do is stay slim. A short legged woman, a wide hipped / big arsed woman, a woman with no arse, a woman with frizzy hair, all will struggle to look good regardless of how much they eat. Men are lucky in a sense that they aren't judged to anything like the same degree as women on what they look like and have other options. Not good looking? Work out. Don't find it easy to bulk up? Get rich. Can't get a good job? Become funny/confident. By contrast a woman who isn't pretty and is badly proportioned will always be low down the pecking order. This in essence is why the cosmetics and fashion industries make so much money from women trying to disguise their bad bits and enhance their good bits.
  3. I think what makes that arguably pathetic is the structure put around it. If you said you were going to book a flight to Ukraine, book into a hotel, go out to some bars and chat to women, that would be worthy of respect. It would also remove your concerns (you'd only speak to those that spoke OK English, you'd only get interest that was genuine). Much cheaper too. Not sure I agree that it's good value from an opportunity cost perspective. Yes you're meeting 70 women, but they are self-selected to be women who are primarily interested in men for their money - exactly the sort of woman you don't really want to meet! I wonder if the events turn into financial willy-waving contests. The organisers could easily host auctions for things or provide opportunities for the "gentlemen" to buy the "ladies" drinks (at vastly inflated prices), and the pressure to be the one waving his Amex card around the most would be quite high.
  4. Thanks that's interesting. That was part of what intrigued me about her. Her website and "professional" twitter feed have some questionable things on there, is that part of her professional persona or is it for real? Some of our interactions when we met were red flags to some degree (she comes across as extremely independent, and initially quite cold, arrogant and aloof) but in some ways she was quite normal and her messages up until today were pleasant and 'nice'. It would have been interesting to probe that a little bit, while also watching how she tried to hide what she did and seeing what questions she asked me (and knowing the real reason for those questions). Edit: Don't mean to suggest that her message today wasn't pleasant or nice, it was fine in a mildly apologetic matter-of-fact sort of way.
  5. First thing that popped into my head was This is not any Torture Garden. This is an M&S Torture Garden... (Well it's one way to reinvigorate high-street retail!)
  6. Haha! It's entirely possible that it's a test of some sort. She wants to see if I'll message her or even call her asking to reschedule, proving how desperate I am and giving her control.
  7. Last minute client is a distinct possibility, who knows. She's late twenties I'd guess, and I have no reason to think she speaks German? Why? Have I missed the joke....??
  8. She's cancelled, at short notice. Perhaps she is a secret DOSBODSer? Perhaps she's you Rave? Ah well. I've left it in her court as to whether she re-schedules or not. I would be very surprised if she did.
  9. Thanks, that's exactly the sort of insight I wanted and reflects what I was thinking to some degree. I met her at a meetup group, based around learning something innocuous and in no way connected to her job. She comes across as confident but detached, which could be 'hardened towards men/life' or it could be a barrier to protect against people finding out about her secret alter-ego. She was a bit vague in conversation which now makes sense. Her messages have been perfectly pleasant, we're meeting tomorrow in a public place and she is making more of a travel commitment than I am to meet me. I won't be letting her (or anyone else) tie me up!
  10. Fair comments, I'll take that into consideration. I think the big red flag for me is the fact that she's an intelligent and attractive woman who will have had a variety of options, and the one she chose is to make money from taking advantage of and degrading stupid men. That doesn't indicate a woman with much strength of character to me, not a long term relationship prospect.
  11. Ha! I'll let you know. The one thing Gibbon said that I agree with is that there's no scope for a relationship with someone who does that for a living, it's hard to imagine a bigger redder flag. I'm approaching the 'date' as an interesting one-off.
  12. I think you're right, in principle. I find it incredible that men will pay £150 per hour to have a woman NOT have sex with them - this thread is testament to the fact that that's easily achievable for free!
  13. Leading the conversation towards sex is good advice. I figure I also need to make no effort at all to please her because she gets that all week and is probably bored of it and sees it as pathetic. Amused ambivalence is probably the way forward, which is true of all women but especially here. Do I want a shag? Maybe. It's a bit risky. She is very confident as you'd expect, in a self assured way not a loud way.
  14. Hi, I was an occasional poster on tos and am an occasional reader of this one. I'm posting now because I need some advice, and I know you'll have good ideas. Back in Feb I met a woman at a meetup group, a fairly normal group based around learning something. We chatted a bit at the group, when it was over I messaged her asking if she wanted a coffee, she replied with her number and we're meeting this weekend. Messages have been pretty normal, she is attractive and intelligent and seems articulate, polite and interested. Earlier today, armed with her name and number, I googled her. I'm pretty good with google and have an eye for detail. I spotted something, which led to something else and something else, long story short I've discovered she is working as a professional dominatrix in my city. I've found her site, complete with pictures - they are disguised with masks and careful camera angles but if you know what she looks like you can tell it's her. I've found her twitter feed, where she has very recent posts showing her clients' spanked arses, fat middle aged men tied up etc, plus details of her availability. I've found client feedback, which is quite a laugh, adverts on dominatrix sites etc. I'm not judging as such (OK I am a bit) but I can't see any chance of wanting to get to know a sex-worker. I'm not into being dominated either. I don't want to cancel though, because I think it's a massive opportunity to have a really interesting conversation with someone who doesn't know that I know her secret. So what should I do? How should I play it? tl:dr - I have a coffee date, with a sex worker, who doesn't know that I know she's a sex worker. What should I do? I'm not posting her details here, private or "professional" - sorry. I'm not looking to mess her up or expose her either, I'm just really intrigued. I will update once I've met her.