stop_the_craziness

I don't understand why you would blow the same leaves around for two hours a day when if you swept them up and put them in the bin like a normal person on day one that would be the job finished. Whenever I see the council workers blowing the leaves around on the verges and kerbs I always think "what is this achieving?" A Leaf Hoover I could understand if you were too much of a lazy bastard to use a broom, but a leaf blower just defies logic for me.

Very good. Even after I knew I was looking for the word "OF" I could still only see two instances of it until I really, really concentrated and found the third. I was almost convinced it was a trick and you were waiting for someone to say they counted 6 lots of "F" when they didn't exist

Yorkshire

My county council have started to issue case number email updates using percentages. They know this is an excellent ruse because (a) a lot of the population don't understand them and (b) you can say things like 25% increase when the cases per hundred thousand of the population goes up from 4 to 5 and scare people to death. They do publish the actual numbers in small-print notation style at the bottom, but the headline figures are just the percentages. Pure numberwanging garbage.

I had so-called Radio Four on when I drove back from the supermarket last night and they were talking about a recent poll (presumably of idiots) where people thought SEVEN PERCENT of the population had "died of" Covid. The expert explained that the figure was 100 times smaller than that. What he didn't then go on to say was that the hundred times smaller figure also includes all the people that shouldn't even be in there, the "died with" brigade.

Let the poor man live out his last dying days in peace you heartless devil.

Aldi trip this evening. They have removed all their social distancing floor markers and taken down the weirdo plastic dividers hanging from the ceiling between the tills. Shop was really empty (it was gone 8pm) but mask wearing was 100%. I forgot my proper mask so had to make do with a ludicrous thing a well-meaning friend had knocked up for me in the early days of lockdown that looks like a toddler's underpants and had been abandoned in my car ever since. I started to unload my shopping on the belt and noticed a young woman in a very complex looking mask who only had a few things in a basket so I asked her if she wanted to go in front of me whilst I finished unloading. She looked at me in terror and refused. Presumably because she would have had to walk past me. When I was packing my stuff back into the trolley the stupid mask kept slipping off my ears and hanging down. I re-positioned it twice and then on the third time I just pulled it off and slung it in the trolley muttering "FFS" to myself. Unmasked man on the till caught my eye and gave me a massive grin of agreement. Terrified basket-mask lady looked like she was going to pass out with fear. And that's that for another ten days, thank fuck.

The most interesting bit of that sentence is the bit that is not there but they know that your mind puts it in. It doesn't say she sold the flat in order to buy a house in Hertfordshire, it just says she MOVED to Hertfordshire. So it could be that she inherited the 5 bed house, she rents it, it belongs to her boyfriend, her parents or someone who has gone abroad, or any other of a million different reasons. But the purpose of the article is to make you think that the mythical "someone from London" is coming to buy your over-priced South East house so prices definitely won't drop.

It's David Cameron and the shut-down Cornish pasty shop all over again. "I wanna live like Common People. I wanna do whatever common people do................."

Lockdown has been very kind to certain sectors......

I just don't see how it can be good. The whole point of the original series was that no-one/nothing was too sacred to go after. That is not the world we live in now, so I think the predictions on here that it will be completely one-sided are correct. Old Spitting Image would have gone in as hard on Diane Abbot and her crystal-meth son as it would on Donald Trump or Dominic Cummings. I can't see New Spitting Image doing that.

Interim goal achieved - 4 hours at 16 miles an hour = 64 miles. Working towards 60 miles in 3 and a half hours (just over 17mph) and then 70 miles in 4 hours. (17.5mph) All solo and all circular so no wheel-sucking or wind-assisted cheating.

I watch all my TV on catchup on my laptop and every ad-break there is one of the variants of the government's "Stay safe out there people" adverts

My first job every day is to check the timings of my "camera on" Teams meetings to be ready with a suitable top for quick-change. The smart clothes I have left will definitely see me out because I'm only wearing them for about half an hour at a time!

I have colleagues with 2nd hand cars on PCP. Surely that is the ultimate worst of both worlds? No kudos and still a shed-load of money every month.