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spygirl

They own your life, your mum and dad

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5 minutes ago, MrPin said:

There may be some tax advantages to giving away some of your money before you die.

Ive not heard a single mamndad term it as 'giving itaway'

Always laon that they expect to pay back.

A fair few have withdrawn money from their OO.

 

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I only find it natural to pass money to your kids as soon as they need it - let it be helping them with getting a home, getting best education available or starting their own business. That's how generational wealth is being built, and I would even go as far as saying it's parents' moral obligation to do so.

If you're worried about not having enough for your own needs in retirement, look after your kids when they are young and they will look after you when you're old.

Disclaimer: my parents got me a flat when I was still at the Uni and, quite predicatbly, it made tremendous difference in my life.

Edited by kibuc

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9 minutes ago, kibuc said:

I only find it natural to pass money to your kids as soon as they need it - let it be helping them with getting a home, getting best education available or starting their own business. That's how generational wealth is being built, and I would even go as far as saying it's parents' moral obligation to do so.

If you're worried about not having enough for your own needs in retirement, look after your kids when they are young and they will look after you when you're old.

Disclaimer: my parents got me a flat when I was still at the Uni and, quite predicatbly, it made tremendous difference in my life.

That's what I call lucky.

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Yeah I think lots of parents nowadays feel that it's part of their job to give their kids 25/50/75K to help them get a home.

Now fair enough I don't need their money, but my folks have 100K sitting in the bank that they don't know what to do with and I know that they'd never dream of giving any of it to me or my brother while they were alive.

But I come from a poor/working class background and I respect that, don't feel hard done by, and don't expect anything off them. I do feel hard done by that I was charged £250 a month housekeeping off them when I was taking home £1100 a month back in 2006 but that's another story ;)

With regards to parental deposits, I'm surprised the average is so high, but on the other hand to a lot of folks 26K isn't a lot of money. I have long suspected that many of the first time buyers that are funding such huge mortgages are getting help from family, be it folks or inheritence from that rich auntie that passed away ect...

Edited by JoeDavola

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49 minutes ago, MrPin said:

That's what I call lucky.

We're all lucky in one way or another, starting with a fact that we were born in a Western democracy in the 21st century.

However, luck isn't anywhere near as important as determination and willingness to take calculated risks.

Take my father, for example. He was born in early 50s in communist Poland, back in the days of Stalin. He was born in a small mountain village of 200 people into a family of highland farmers, rugged, down-to-earth hardworking mountain folk, deeply religious and unbelievably poor. He was the oldest of 11 (yes, these go to eleven) kids and as such was destined to take over the household when his parents could no longer manage. However, they decided to leave the well-trodden path and did something no-one in their family or their village had ever done before - they sent my father to the Big City to get Education. It was much more of a sacrifice than it looks, as my father was 15 at the time, the next kid was retarded and was a net drain on resources, then there were two girls so they were depriving themselves of the only kid being able to help them with all the physical work at the farm - and there's always shitloads of that. However, they took that risk in the hope that it will help their child reach another level.

You could say my pops was lucky to have had such forward-looking parents in such an unlikely place, but it would have mattered naught had he not made the most of it. Never the brightest on his year but always the hardest-working, he finished high school, got to the Uni, graduated with honours and continued his academic career all the way to becoming a professor in construction engineering while also taking a significant financial risk by starting his own construction consulation & expertise business, which proved to be a great success and a main source of income for the next two decades. He also met a girl with a similar background and cut on the number of offspring, limiting himself to 6, 4 of which made it through infancy. All of our 4 got top education - my 3 brothers graduating with a masters degree in construction engineering and working with our pops while I chose computer science - and we all got our own 2-bed flats when we're still at the Uni. Needless to say, all that money could have been left in our parents' account for the rainy day/retirement or spent on a world cruise, but they decided to set us up for life the best they could as soon as they could, not dissimilar to what they received from their own parents, who they also support financialy.

Continuing in the same vein, my and me wife decided that 2 kids were plenty enough, and then we decided to take a gamble and swap our comfortable, owner-occupiers' life in a city of my birth for an uncertainty of immigration and discomfort, insecurity and financial repression of renting in London. The money we got for our flat didn't get anywhere near to get us our own place, but again, with well-calculated investment risks we can at least hope to grow it into a deposit, or maybe even into an outright purchase a few years down the line. With both of us working hard and earning well, we should be able to provide our kids with any education they desire and hopefully help them to get their own place when they decide to leave our nest, so when they reach the same age we're now, hopefully they'll be already mortgage free and well positioned to support their kids to even greater extent, every generation starting with a better financial position than their parents thanks to forward-thinking, determination, hard work and willingness to admit that our kids need those money early in their lives much more dearly than us old farts.

Edited by kibuc

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11 minutes ago, kibuc said:

With both of us working hard and earning well, we should be able to provide our kids with any education they desire and hopefully help them to get their own place when they decide to leave our nest, so when they reach the same age we're now, hopefully they'll be already mortgage free and well positioned to support their kids to even greater extent, every generation starting with a better financial position than their parents thanks to forward-thinking, determination, hard work and willingness to admit that our kids need those money early in their lives much more dearly than us old farts.

Laudable goals, but - and I mean this kindly - if your kids don't experience much hardship themselves, they are far less likely to value what you give them. Someone quoted a statistic here a while back that 90% of inherited wealth is lost within three generations, or something along those lines. Your dad had no option but to succeed. Your kids don't have that need and may therefore not have his drive. Your dad's experience may seem irrelevant to them, whereas to you it's clearly fundamental (I imagine it was drilled into you as a child).

It's a tricky balance and I haven't yet worked out the best for my kids. I could set them up in life financially but I would prefer to set them up psychologically, and have so far done that. I don't think the two approaches are entirely compatible due to basic human nature.

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1 minute ago, Alex said:

Laudable goals, but - and I mean this kindly - if your kids don't experience much hardship themselves, they are far less likely to value what you give them. Someone quoted a statistic here a while back that 90% of inherited wealth is lost within three generations, or something along those lines. Your dad had no option but to succeed. Your kids don't have that need and may therefore not have his drive. Your dad's experience may seem irrelevant to them, whereas to you it's clearly fundamental (I imagine it was drilled into you as a child).

It's a tricky balance and I haven't yet worked out the best for my kids. I could set them up in life financially but I would prefer to set them up psychologically, and have so far done that. I don't think the two approaches are entirely compatible due to basic human nature.

I never thought of education or a place to live as wealth. I consider it a basic necessity. They fact that even doing as little as co-funding a deposit on a 2-bedder in Peckham can be labelled as "passing wealth" only highlights the utterly depressing state of affairs in UK.

We're not talking about positioning our kids for early retirement in secondary school, I can easily see how it can be detrimental. It's about doing our best to help them live good lives, and in my view living a nice neighbourhood, having a degree that allows you to choose your field of work instead of getting by with whatever's available, and being able to enjoy fruit of your labour instead of passing them straight to your landlord or mortgage lender, it all creates a very strong platform on which our kids should be able to build whatever they like.

It's important to teach your kids the value of hard work but that's where good education helps tremendously. It's not about buying your kids a degree, it's about puting them in a school that makes them work hard for their grades and demands effort and consistency while providing them with wide array of skills and breadth of practical knowledge.

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9 minutes ago, kibuc said:

I never thought of education or a place to live as wealth. I consider it a basic necessity. They fact that even doing as little as co-funding a deposit on a 2-bedder in Peckham can be labelled as "passing wealth" only highlights the utterly depressing state of affairs in UK.

We're not talking about positioning our kids for early retirement in secondary school, I can easily see how it can be detrimental. It's about doing our best to help them live good lives, and in my view living a nice neighbourhood, having a degree that allows you to choose your field of work instead of getting by with whatever's available, and being able to enjoy fruit of your labour instead of passing them straight to your landlord or mortgage lender, it all creates a very strong platform on which our kids should be able to build whatever they like.

It's important to teach your kids the value of hard work but that's where good education helps tremendously. It's not about buying your kids a degree, it's about puting them in a school that makes them work hard for their grades and demands effort and consistency while providing them with wide array of skills and breadth of practical knowledge.

Something’s not adding up...

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In 2004 I used BOMAD to stump up a 10% deposit to buy a run down flat. I always felt a bit 'beholden' to them. Sold the flat in 2010, paid back their money and felt that my conscience was clearer. 

Been trying to get back onto the property ladder ever since. 9_9

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4 hours ago, kibuc said:

I only find it natural to pass money to your kids as soon as they need it - let it be helping them with getting a home, getting best education available or starting their own business. That's how generational wealth is being built, and I would even go as far as saying it's parents' moral obligation to do so.

If you're worried about not having enough for your own needs in retirement, look after your kids when they are young and they will look after you when you're old.

Disclaimer: my parents got me a flat when I was still at the Uni and, quite predicatbly, it made tremendous difference in my life.

That's fine but there's lots of risks marriage break ups needed partners people would take the piss out of inlaws

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I grew up poor. Earned more than my part time mother by 16. I worked like a bastard. Younger brother called me greedy. My father defended me. My dad..I was and am a rare daddies boy...helped me buy shares in the then nationalising uk companies in the late 80s onwards. My spends as it was called, stopped 6 months after they started due to my paper rounds. My late dad told me his main drive in his earlier years was never to be cold in a house again. Stuck with me that simple thing.

My son is 15. 

I have always been open about money with him. Hes  a saver and a slight geezer. He seemed really hurt when I said it takes three generations to go from poor to rich to poor. My late father was from slum clearances in the cetre of Manchester post war.

My son now argues back and says I am the first generation.

Nope lad..my dad was.

I give him lots of responsibility with money. Responsibility is power.

I have gave him a few ideas to think outside the box.

I hope he wins.

Otherwise..the thread title is very correct. I dont hear any reports from his school about teachers talking of student loans..taxes..oe emigrating..they want slaves...

 

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When I was growing up my parents were (and still are) financially incontinent. My parents were both Guardian reading lefties more than happy to piss money away on themselves or their pet projects but couldn't manage to ensure there was food on the table, or that we had clean clothes that fit and weren't full of holes. 

After graduating university and getting a good job in the early 00s I was unable to but to buy a flat as many of my contemporaries did with the help of the bank of their mum and dad. After a good 7 years of frugal living my now wife and I were able to buy our first home (which we still own), at the time my Dad said something along the lines of aren't you proud you did it all on your own without being helped out? No, is the simple answer, I wish my parents had been in a position to help me out in some way. 

And now that I'm a parent I'm doing everything I can to make sure I've got some money to give my children to help with university or a deposit for a house. I've pointed out to my parents that when I went to university the tuition fees were £1,000/year, my loan was £3,000/year and I came out just shy of £10,000 in the hole which was paid off by the time I was 32, if my parents had been able to give/lend me £5,000 when I got my first job I would have been able to buy a small flat and ride the wave of HPI of the 00s, rather than the £40,000 my wife and I had to find years later. If my children are academic and will benefit from a degree then they'd be facing a £40,000 debt in today's money and would need the same again for a deposit. My parents keep bleating on that things might change and I shouldn't be so pessimistic but I can't see how things will change better for young people, even after the baby boomers are dead we'll still be paying for their excesses for a generation at least. 

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10 hours ago, assetrichcashpoor said:

When I was growing up my parents were (and still are) financially incontinent. My parents were both Guardian reading lefties more than happy to piss money away on themselves or their pet projects but couldn't manage to ensure there was food on the table, or that we had clean clothes that fit and weren't full of holes. 

After graduating university and getting a good job in the early 00s I was unable to but to buy a flat as many of my contemporaries did with the help of the bank of their mum and dad. After a good 7 years of frugal living my now wife and I were able to buy our first home (which we still own), at the time my Dad said something along the lines of aren't you proud you did it all on your own without being helped out? No, is the simple answer, I wish my parents had been in a position to help me out in some way. 

And now that I'm a parent I'm doing everything I can to make sure I've got some money to give my children to help with university or a deposit for a house. I've pointed out to my parents that when I went to university the tuition fees were £1,000/year, my loan was £3,000/year and I came out just shy of £10,000 in the hole which was paid off by the time I was 32, if my parents had been able to give/lend me £5,000 when I got my first job I would have been able to buy a small flat and ride the wave of HPI of the 00s, rather than the £40,000 my wife and I had to find years later. If my children are academic and will benefit from a degree then they'd be facing a £40,000 debt in today's money and would need the same again for a deposit. My parents keep bleating on that things might change and I shouldn't be so pessimistic but I can't see how things will change better for young people, even after the baby boomers are dead we'll still be paying for their excesses for a generation at least. 

Once the demographics hit It'll get sorted quick enough for young people.

You'll just have a lost generation in the middle who paid massively over the odds for assets that are now worth peanuts.

That's us that is.

xD

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1 minute ago, SpectrumFX said:

Once the demographics hit It'll get sorted quick enough for young people.

You'll just have a lost generation in the middle who paid massively over the odds for assets that are now worth peanuts.

That's us that is.

xD

I’m not so optimistic. The productive proportion of future generations seems to be diminishing. The people who plan and pay for their own children’s upbringing and being out bred by those who do nothing and let the state pay.

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