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Boglet

Retarded Linkedin posts

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What is linkedin actually for? To me it seems to just be facebook but with any risqué banter, confrontation or disagreement stripped away. Just a place for huge narcissists and egotists to shamelessly self promote.

In most cases it seems to be a case of people wanting to speak to be seen to be speaking, even though they have nothing to say. And of course, nobody wants to write anything disparaging. So you end up with absolutely vacuous nonsense being posted and sometimes several thousands of comments (presumably just to be seem to be commenting) responding earnestly but saying nothing and thanking the OP for their insight.

In a way it's a fascinating people watching site which I quite enjoy dipping into now and then. So I thought it might be fun to collect a few good examples so we can all have a laugh.

My favourite categories of linkedin post are ridiculous 'future technology' posts and 'thought-leader-power-walking-through-a-city-while-imparting-great-wisdom' posts. Honourable mention to sharing clips of motivational speakers like that fucking Simon Sinek guy.

Here are a couple I've seen recently: 

Fantasy technology:

1.      The amazing new groundbreaking technology of a basic quadcopter fitted with wheels so it rolls around instead when at partial throttle. Absolutely incredible!  

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6463574878476951552/

2.      The future wheelchair. What I loved about this was all the supposedly intelligent people not realising (or pretending not to realise) that it's a) CGI and b) physically impossible 

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/ajjames_innovation-design-technology-ugcPost-6572565935922745344-r5-U/

Thought leader:

3.      The ‘choose your boss’ go-getting thought leader and influencer

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:ugcPost:6503644548655251456/

 

There was one 'thought leader' guy that I used to see all the time that would have provided some great examples but I got sick of him a while back and blocked the person who kept sharing him, now I can't remember his name.

 

Share ‘em if you’ve got ‘em...

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My theory is the more text you have written on your LinkedIn profile, the more unsatisfied you are with your job. I never understand the need to tell random people I'll never meet, about what I do, using a series of buzzwords.

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As someone who will be jobless for the first time in 16 years next month, it’s hard to know how best to approach the daunting task of trying to get another middle manager position without at least paying lip service to playing the LinkedIn game.

 

I know it’s a fairly good time to be looking  for work in England but not out here in WA unfortunately.

 

I can only liken it to being suddenly single and thrust into the deluded scrappers meat market after a few decades of being off the market (not me yet fortunately!)

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Its use must vary by the field you work in; maybe it's big for IT people.

I haven't used it for either looking for a job or for recruitment.  I hesitate to say it's pointless but....

I have loooked at it and to me it seems reminiscent of the very early days of the internet in the late 80s when nobody really knew what t was for so people used to put up pages about themself syaing who they were , what their job was and hobbies plus pictures of them, their house and family.

I wasn't clear than why anyone who didn't know them would be interested in any of that and of course anyone who did know them would know all of that anyway.

It was a bit like a prototype Facebook but with everyone's infomration open to the whole world.

These pages usually came with guestbooks so you could leave comments.  The typical comments was "Hello Frank, nice page".

The star internet page at that time was the Cambridge Coffee Pot.

In the Cambridge computer lab the filter coffee pot was down several floors so somebody rigged up the world's first webcam to show if it had coffee in it to save a wasted trip; then somebody set this up as a webpage and a star was born.

spacer.png

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trojan_Room_coffee_pot

And yes I did have a look.

 

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It seems to be an essential tool for IT folk in Belfast now.

You can't just do your job, you also have to constantly network and promote yourself and your company on LinkedIn.

Irony is I know a bloke that posts loads on LinkedIn and when my place hired him he didn't actually make it past probation cause he was so utterly hopeless.

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3 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

It seems to be an essential tool for IT folk in Belfast now.

You can't just do your job, you also have to constantly network and promote yourself and your company on LinkedIn.

Irony is I know a bloke that posts loads on LinkedIn and when my place hired him he didn't actually make it past probation cause he was so utterly hopeless.

I'm not much on LinkedIn. to me it's just a chance to keep up with old chums. You can look me up. I am extremely hopeless. Like the rest of them.

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A friend, who has a long history of falling out with female managers, was so incensed with one that she went to the trouble of creating a "Ginger Bitch" profile for her on Linkedin.

As it wasn't identifiably her it seemed rather pointless.

She may as well have drawn a rude picture of her and put in a drawer.

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I think its day has past. I keep my profile up to date, but as a job finding tool it's useless, whereas 5-6 years ago it used to get me lots of leads and people contacting me about work.

It's just a glorified Facebook now.

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Full of brown nosing cunts. I can't stand the place, plus it shows people who've viewed your profile, so you can't even spy on all the wankers you've worked with to see how much better they're doing than you are.

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2 hours ago, JoeDavola said:

It seems to be an essential tool for IT folk in Belfast now.

You can't just do your job, you also have to constantly network and promote yourself and your company on LinkedIn.

Irony is I know a bloke that posts loads on LinkedIn and when my place hired him he didn't actually make it past probation cause he was so utterly hopeless.

This proves my theory. Number of words on your LinkedIn profile is inverse to how good you are at your job.

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4 hours ago, Sugarlips said:

As someone who will be jobless for the first time in 16 years next month, it’s hard to know how best to approach the daunting task of trying to get another middle manager position without at least paying lip service to playing the LinkedIn game.

I don't know anyone who has got a job through being on linkedin. I do know lots of people (including me) who got jobs because they had actually worked with someone in the past, who knew there was a vacancy coming up at their current gaff, and then tipped off the jobseeker, or mentioned their name to the hiring manager.

I'm sure it helps to have a linkedin profile, so that the whoever is hiring can feel he or she is doing "research" about the applicant by looking at it ... but other than basic, matter-of-fact stuff about work experience, I can't imagine it helps to have a lot of guff there. It would turn me off if I saw that someone I was thinking about hiring was actually the pretentious preacher type.

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I am not on it. Just like all social media

Not sure if DOSBODS counts given its low key anon profile.

Not to say I havent peeked although with no fake account I dont get far. Those folk I know who come up appear to ratify my waste of oxygen opinion.

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It's just for attracting recruitment agents if you end up out of work.

When they get a vacancy to fill they seem to just trawl linked-in for potential candidates in similar roles at rival companies. 

I have an account but haven't actually been on there in years. It's a lot like facebook in that respect. 

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I follow a woman who runs her own PR business - I don't know her, never met her, and can't remember how we have connected on LinkedIn. Anyway, she's obviously adapt at using social media both professionally and personally, but has succumbed to the ego-stroking that the platform gives any moderately attractive woman. I have watched over the last year or so as she has become increasingly desperate to garner "likes" and "comments" on a collection of ever more inappropriate photos. The photos and the comments, comments and the photos... all quite entertaining, and I've almost become addicted to the predictive rhythm of it all... (also helps she isn't bad looking for a mid 40's mum of two). She now regularly promotes her Instagram page on her LinkedIn feed, and strangely brings her children into the mix. Close up pictures of her tanned legs or pink "come hither" high heel shoes often pop up, amongst the serious 'piece to camera' business videos. The camera angle will often find itself hinting down towards cleavage etc. I realise many women use their looks to get ahead in business, but this really is a masterclass.

Ebony LI

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52 minutes ago, Libspero said:

It's just for attracting recruitment agents if you end up out of work.

When they get a vacancy to fill they seem to just trawl linked-in for potential candidates in similar roles at rival companies. 

I have an account but haven't    actually been on there in years. It's a lot like facebook in that respect. 

IME the recruiters send the most ridiculously inappropriate jobs as well, all with the same annoying tag lines and BS intro too. I just thank the Lord I ain't doing their job. Having to send that s**t out all day every day in the hope something sticks seems pretty dispiriting to me.

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LinkedIn's heyday was a few years ago, like most of social media it's just mainly full of buzzword bullshit, thrusting corporate warriors with large-knotted salmon ties and ego masturbation now.

There are maybe a few industries where it's probably quite handy for contacts etc. but, for the most part, it's facebook lite.

Edited by Sgt Hartman

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