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Libspero

Has Anyone Seen My Shitter

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An 18-carat solid gold toilet has been stolen in a burglary overnight at Blenheim Palace.

A gang broke into the Oxfordshire palace at about 04:50 BST and stole the artwork, Thames Valley Police said.

The working toilet - entitled America, which visitors had been invited to use - has not been found but a 66-year-old man has been arrested.

skynews-golden-toilet_4774116.jpg?201909

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Was it Gulf War 2 when the media were telling us all about Saddam's golden toilet, and how utterly classless the bloke was to have something so gauche? Now it turns out we have had our own in one of the oldest stately homes in England.

I do hope the bloke who nicked it turns out to be called John.

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1 hour ago, Fully Detached said:

Was it Gulf War 2 when the media were telling us all about Saddam's golden toilet, and how utterly classless the bloke was to have something so gauche? Now it turns out we have had our own in one of the oldest stately homes in England.

I do hope the bloke who nicked it turns out to be called John.

I do remember (maybe GW 1) the news reporting how this unelected leader lived in luxury throughout the land with palaces and big houses. And then someone asked if they were referring to Iraq or Britain.

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If they were smart they could put a GPS tracker inside the bog.

If they were even smarter, it is actually made of gold plate, and worth much less, but draws in the same media and public interest.

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Typical ‘Tim nice but dim’ toff quote:

Last month, ahead of the toilet’s installation, the Duke of Marlborough’s half-brother, Edward Spencer-Churchill, said the lavatory wouldn’t be ‘the easiest thing to nick’.

Mr Spencer-Churchill told the Times: ‘Firstly, it’s plumbed in and secondly, a potential thief will have no idea who last used the toilet or what they ate.’

Do you really think anyone would give a shit (excuse the pun) and wouldn’t be scoping it out when it’s available as ‘art’ for public use no less.

By now it will be melted down in a scrap yard. Serves them right.

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Just now, Sideysid said:

Typical ‘Tim nice but dim’ toff quote:

Last month, ahead of the toilet’s installation, the Duke of Marlborough’s half-brother, Edward Spencer-Churchill, said the lavatory wouldn’t be ‘the easiest thing to nick’.

Mr Spencer-Churchill told the Times: ‘Firstly, it’s plumbed in and secondly, a potential thief will have no idea who last used the toilet or what they ate.’

Do you really think anyone would give a shit (excuse the pun) and wouldn’t be scoping it out when it’s available as ‘art’ for public use no less.

By now it will be melted down in a scrap yard. Serves them right.

It might be made into sovereigns. these are no use when you need to crap.

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7 minutes ago, Sideysid said:

By now it will be melted down in a scrap yard. Serves them right.

Bit harsh..  nobody deserves to wake up in the morning and find some kunt has nicked his John before he's had a chance to take his morning constitutional! 

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26 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

There is something so crass about that 'artwork' that I really struggle to give a toss if someones nicked it. 

I'm also kind of surprised that Blenheim agreed to host it, didn't strike me as that sort of place and I like to think that if old Winston knew his gaff was being cluttered up with golden shitters masquerading as 'art', he'd hit a thousand rpm in his grave.

Doesn't say a lot for our "special relationship" either if Blenheim palace are hosting artworks of golden shit-holes titled "America".

Bit awkward..   :/

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1 hour ago, Kurt Barlow said:

Solid Gold - I smell BS. Gold is about 19000kg / tonne. You would need a crane to lift that. 

How is something 19000kg PER TONNE???

1000kg per tonne every day of my week

 

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13 minutes ago, Great Guy said:

I think as pieces of art goes it's actually quite good. It's making a statement on the real value of monetary wealth. Maybe more importantly it's also quite fun...

If I was a billionaire I'd definitely get one.

Somebody here has one for sale round the back of the pub. not sure where he got it.

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23 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

I meant m3

😂 Very good point though. Rough guess would be toilet weighs in region of 900kg if solid?? Not easy to carry through the gift shop in an overcoat pocket

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Apparently there is a big insurance payout, now that it has been stolen.  And considering that I was already wondering how you rip a giant slab of gold out of there without being noticed, the 'payout' now has me suspicious that this was an inside job.

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