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spunko

Extremely tight friend

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My friend of several years has recently started to be super tight with money. They're doing some sort of skinflint plan to retire by the time they're 45 (30 now). Things came to a head when they made sandwiches and ate them discretely in wetherspoons when I was eating a 2 quid  grotburger. If you're too tight for spoons then it's surely time to rethink. 

They don't have any money problems and earn above average. They used to take the piss out of people like this. 

I've noticed they've started a money saving blog about how little they spend and how much they're saving. Christ.

 

  It's no fun being friends with someone who won't even buy a burger or a pint. Should I say anything? They've got another 15 years of this planned... Or am I being unreasonable? aibu??

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9 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

Yes, point out that whilst they are saving for their old age it is quite possible that they will never reach it.

I'd rather strike a balance work a fair bit longer so I can enjoy myself and also put together a decent pension. Whats the point at 30 living like a skinflint for 15 years to squirrel away money that gives you a very very modest income to retire at 45, to then live the remainder of your life as a tightwad

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2 hours ago, TheBlueCat said:

I tried being retired at 40 and effing hated it - tell them it's basically no fun at all being retired without vast quantities of cash if everyone you know is still spending all day at work.

Ditto.  Tried again at 45 with the same result.

It was nice to know that I could retire but that nice feeling would not have been worth fifteen years of obsessive underspending.

The sheer euphoria of retiring the first time was fantastic for quite a while though.

YANBU

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A friend I mine at university was a bit like this although not as extreme. When we'd go for a drink at the union if your drink was more  expensive than his when it was his round he'd expect you to pay the difference. He'd do the same when his drink was pricier, he'd give you the 15-20p difference without prompting.

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6 minutes ago, assetrichcashpoor said:

A friend I mine at university was a bit like this although not as extreme. When we'd go for a drink at the union if your drink was more  expensive than his when it was his round he'd expect you to pay the difference. He'd do the same when his drink was pricier, he'd give you the 15-20p difference without prompting.

Is he rich now?

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YANBU.

There are few things quite as irritating as going out for a drink with mates and one of them refuses to put his hand in his pocket and concocts all manner of elaborate reasons why, when in reality - they're just a tightarse.

If they are genuinely skint then fair enough but if not and they're smuggling sandwiches into 'spoons then they need to have a quiet word with themselves. I'd be embarrassed on their behalf.

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4 minutes ago, swissy_fit said:

Is he rich now?

No but he's got no mates.

at spunko, I would think that if your friend has got into this mindset, there is little you can do about it.  

The worst is when it impacts on you, so going for a meal and friend insists on getting hold of the bill and arguing that each person pays for what they have had.  This then results in a painful 15 minutes whilst calculations are done.

if they are a good friend and you can put up with the behaviour, go with the flow.  They will only change when they want to 

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1 minute ago, One percent said:

No but he's got no mates.

at spunko, I would think that if your friend has got into this mindset, there is little you can do about it.  

The worst is when it impacts on you, so going for a meal and friend insists on getting hold of the bill and arguing that each person pays for what they have had.  This then results in a painful 15 minutes whilst calculations are done.

if they are a good friend and you can put up with the behaviour, go with the flow.  They will only change when they want to 

Germans and Dutch systematically do this at bill paying time IME. It's not a problem after you've seen it once and got over the minor cultural shock.

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23 minutes ago, swissy_fit said:

Is he rich now?

Hard to say as we don't speak anymore not because of his stinginess though just things have moved on. From Facebook I would guess he's comfortable, given his nature there wouldn't be any outward signs of wealth even if he were a billionaire.

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2 hours ago, MrPin said:

They sound ideal recruits for this place.B|

They'd probably enjoy a lot of the content here to be fair. 

Thanks for replies , I'll try having a word next time I see them.

Fwiw they're planning to retire on 20k a year and move somewhere with a lower cost of living. I have no idea what 20k a year will be like in 15 years time but it could be doable now I suppose. 

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8 minutes ago, spunko2010 said:

They'd probably enjoy a lot of the content here to be fair. 

Thanks for replies , I'll try having a word next time I see them.

Fwiw they're planning to retire on 20k a year and move somewhere with a lower cost of living. I have no idea what 20k a year will be like in 15 years time but it could be doable now I suppose. 

If you have no mortgage or dependents, I would think that 20k will give you a reasonable standard of living. The issues is whether this is index linked.  Like you say  in 15 years time, what exactly would it buy? 

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26 minutes ago, spunko2010 said:

They'd probably enjoy a lot of the content here to be fair. 

Thanks for replies , I'll try having a word next time I see them.

Fwiw they're planning to retire on 20k a year and move somewhere with a lower cost of living. I have no idea what 20k a year will be like in 15 years time but it could be doable now I suppose. 

Tell him my measure: ignore any pension and only draw 1% income from your savings; if you can live off this then you can afford to retire early and both savings and income will rise above inflation. You just need to be honest with yourself as to whether the level of income that 1% gives will give you a sufficient lifestyle.

When pensions kick in at 65 / 67 it will be a bonus.

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4 minutes ago, spunko2010 said:

They'd probably enjoy a lot of the content here to be fair. 

Thanks for replies , I'll try having a word next time I see them.

Fwiw they're planning to retire on 20k a year and move somewhere with a lower cost of living. I have no idea what 20k a year will be like in 15 years time but it could be doable now I suppose. 

That's the thing, 15 years is a relatively short timeframe in investment terms but  in that same timeframe we've seen utterly unprecedented central bank collusion and market fixing, what if it all goes wrong? You say he is writing a blog - maybe that is a bigger thing and goal in itself, maybe the idea is to go extreme and try and monetise that? 

I don't have retirement plans mapped out, certainly not a date and certainly not enough investment funds to have any stab at early retirement and doubt £20k living in a low cost area (current one not exactly high if careful) would be very fulfilling. Spending time on working less but cultivating the best paid work I have and try and extend out the usefulness of the skills I have. In the meantime in the quieter periods effectively semi-retired by default and enjoying the time, if client projects take off then will be stacked again and full on and maybe use a few years to that to go into formal retirement, but I doubt it as just get bored if not heavily active.

 

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Suspect your friend has read one of those books - there have been a few recently - about living a minimal life and retiring early and decided to give this a go.

Things like this are called "fads". They don't last.

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7 hours ago, spunko2010 said:

My friend of several years has recently started to be super tight with money. They're doing some sort of skinflint plan to retire by the time they're 45 (30 now). Things came to a head when they made sandwiches and ate them discretely in wetherspoons when I was eating a 2 quid  grotburger. If you're too tight for spoons then it's surely time to rethink. 

They don't have any money problems and earn above average. They used to take the piss out of people like this. 

I've noticed they've started a money saving blog about how little they spend and how much they're saving. Christ.

 

  It's no fun being friends with someone who won't even buy a burger or a pint. Should I say anything? They've got another 15 years of this planned... Or am I being unreasonable? aibu??

Yeah, but in 2 or 3 years she'll have a change of heart and "accidentally" get pregnant, then that'll be the end of that. In fact, while he thinks they're saving for early retirement, she is actually saving up for having kids.

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1 minute ago, Hail the Tripod said:

Yeah, but in 2 or 3 years she'll have a change of heart and "accidentally" get pregnant, then that'll be the end of that. In fact, while he thinks they're saving for early retirement, she is actually saving up for having kids.

Spot on. Making a plan like that and involving a woman is pretty much futile - there might be some exceptions but not many. Direct your mate to this thread, Spunko, so he is warned!

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2 minutes ago, Hail the Tripod said:

Yeah, but in 2 or 3 years she'll have a change of heart and "accidentally" get pregnant, then that'll be the end of that. In fact, while he thinks they're saving for early retirement, she is actually saving up for having kids.

Was going to mention children and forgot, I'd assumed no children.

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13 minutes ago, Hail the Tripod said:

Yeah, but in 2 or 3 years she'll have a change of heart and "accidentally" get pregnant, then that'll be the end of that. In fact, while he thinks they're saving for early retirement, she is actually saving up for having kids.

This made me laugh, it would be a miracle if they got pregnant, my mate is male! xD

Has 1 young child.

Unmarried but not sure what their plans are for that. Wouldn't be surprised if they got married.

28 minutes ago, DTMark said:

Suspect your friend has read one of those books - there have been a few recently - about living a minimal life and retiring early and decided to give this a go.

Things like this are called "fads". They don't last.

Yes, I thought that too. That's why I said he'd be welcome here - very into conspiracy theories and fads. (Of which I am also, generally)

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1 minute ago, spunko2010 said:

This made me laugh, it would be a miracle if they got pregnant, my mate is male! xD

Has 1 young child.

The way you used they, I assumed your mate was doing this austerity plan with his wife/girlfriend.

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Just now, Hail the Tripod said:

The way you used they, I assumed your mate was doing this austerity plan with his wife/girlfriend.

It could be. I know that they have had issues with friends /family previously about money and jealousy. He earns quite a lot. Seems like quite a large reversal of that, from one extreme to the other.

 

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