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Frank Hovis

Minor tips to improve your life

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Also, a small sheet of bog-roll laid upon the waters surface does well to deaden the blow saving you a red-face if that most British of cultural taboos is broken - another person hearing your splash when surrounded in the traps.

Also prevents splash-back and skidmarks as it works as an effective turd shroud that protects the porcelain.

I'll take thanks for this most excellent of advice in the form of ale. Ta.

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4 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Also, a small sheet of bog-roll laid upon the waters surface does well to deaden the blow saving you a red-face if that most British of cultural taboos is broken - another person hearing your splash when surrounded in the traps.

Also prevents splash-back and skidmarks as it works as an effective turd shroud that protects the porcelain.

I'll take thanks for this most excellent of advice in the form of ale. Ta.

In line with that

Avoid egg sandwiches prepared by any third parties

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30 minutes ago, DTMark said:

I usually find it helpful to unfasten the zip in my trousers before urinating.

Some idiot in the 80s brought back fly buttons. Zips are cool.

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14 minutes ago, SNACR said:

If there are any women, you find attractive at work, move anything they put in the fridge to the very bottom shelf so they have to bend down further.

The women formed a slimming club at the place I once worked  and used the Avery Industrial scales in the workshop for their weigh-in every Friday morning.

The workshop staff always gathered around to kindly help adjust the sliding weights on the scale's arm as accurately as possible for the nice ladies.

To save weight the ladies began to take their shoes off, but they found their stockings snagged on the scales corroded base plate.

The workshop staff continued with their kindness and made a highly polished steel plate for the ladies to stand upon.

Edited by Hopeful

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I have no minor tips to share; I think I do everything automatically so can't think of any.

2 hours ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Also, a small sheet of bog-roll laid upon the waters surface does well to deaden the blow saving you a red-face if that most British of cultural taboos is broken - another person hearing your splash when surrounded in the traps.

Also prevents splash-back and skidmarks as it works as an effective turd shroud that protects the porcelain.

I'll take thanks for this most excellent of advice in the form of ale. Ta.

I do this solely for the splash-back reason. Also, if you squash the bog roll into an oval shape, it won't all run off if you pull too hard.

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Just now, Inoperational Bumblebee said:

 Also, if you squash the bog roll into an oval shape, it won't all run off if you pull too hard.

This is gold.

The amount of times I've come into the bog to find an empty holder and a pile underneath it looking like a melted bride is a source of great annoyance to me.

I thank you.

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3 hours ago, The Masked Tulip said:

 

I find it helpful to remove my willy before urinating. If I just unzip my trousers and begin urinating then I get soggy.

 

Any excuse to sit down on the job..

I prefer to keep my willy attached. You must be one of them trans fella women blokes we keep hearing about

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41 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

This is gold.

The amount of times I've come into the bog to find an empty holder and a pile underneath it looking like a melted bride is a source of great annoyance to me.

I thank you.

I only experienced this for the first time at a friend's house recently. It seems improbable that the weight of three sheets of bog roll can overcome the friction of the roll in it's holder, but apparently it is so.

Something to do with trends to shrinkflation causing the mass of the roll to be concentrated further outwards due to a larger centre? 

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1 minute ago, JoeDavola said:

Oh and I'll add that my biggest life change recently has been unplugging the internet in my home. I'm on the internet all day at work so when I go home I no longer have the distraction and instead I can read books, play my guitar, make food, listen to the radio. I know it makes me sound like a bit of an old fart but I'm getting so much more done.

Isn't that a bit of a non sequitur ?

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3 hours ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Get proficient at basic DIY.

Save you a fortune in the long-term and, more importantly, you have less chance of dying due to a stress induced stroke brought about when yet another trade doesn't show up.

 

 

Could not agree more on that one but would like to add don`t tell anyone especially siblings and relatives  you can do/did the work you are are immensely proud of ...as you will pestered and used as a rag hand for the rest of your living days ......be warned i`m living proof of that   

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19 minutes ago, Hopeful said:

Don't always tell everybody what's happened to you

Canadian fisherman survives sexual assault by dozens of seals

Priceless

Quote

“I felt their heavy weight on my back as I was pretending to be dead. I can still hear those awful grunts and remember the pounding, I was sure I was going to die” he recalls, visibly grateful to be alive.

Quote

“My girlfriend keeps saying I was gang banged by a bunch of seals. I ain’t no Christian but that is my definition of Hell” he told reporters laughingly, amidst the tragic events.

 

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