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The Dosbods Coronavirus diaries


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Day 403: I've not killed anyone today.

Day 404: I've whittle a bit more skirting board off and mixed with dust from the carpet. Baked in the hot sun for twenty minutes it made a delicious and nourishing gruel.

Day 405: That git across the road is still going out jogging. He looks very healthy despite everyone else suffering massive food shortages.

Dave 406: Discovered you can make rope from the wool carpet base threads. Have started making a trap. Researched rabbit traps in one of the books. Life without internet is hard.

Day 407: Sharpening knives in case tonight's catch is successful.


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I've been going for a run every day (as I did pre-the event). I live in a little village about 10 miles away from a large-ish town in South Derbyshire.

Just 5 minutes in I'm in the sticks, there's not normally a soul about anyway, but this time the only cars I see are delivery drivers and/or vans. Occasionally I see a normal driver but it's getting more rare. 

On day1 of the lockdown, I was getting smiles/waves from passing cyclists and people in their front garden's when I passed by the next village (my run takes me through 2 other villages - and the long Sunday run takes me within spitting distance of the main town). Yesterday however, people seemed less friendly - lots of cyclists just ignoring me (I always say hello to them as we're quite remote so I always think it's polite to acknowledge someone). Likely they're not from round here or haven't cycled in years and are just focusing on not crashing.

Shopping: Day1 and 3 of lockdown my local morrisons was quiet, but no restrictions on coming in. By Friday it was one in one out and perspex glass to protect the cashiers. But everything back in stock (but still no pasta and meat seems to be taking a kicking now).

Kids: I had a proper barney with my eldest just before this happened and we're still not really communicating. So I've barely seen him all week. But as he's had his phone and internet taken off him, he probably doesn't know what's going on in the outside world (I digged out a shitty old laptop that I set to only access his school site and nothing else).

My other two are getting by just fine, their mum is doing a surprisingly reasonable job of making sure they're getting school work done. I also take the girls out for a walk every day, so they're both in chipper moods.

Entertainment: I moved my entire office upstairs into my bedroom. It's a real rarity that I work from home so originally my office was the conservatory and there's no way I can spend all day in there as the temperature fluctuates way to much. So now I have my work PC, home PC and I moved the Xbox upstairs with a (frankly absurdly for this room) large plasma to play it on. My room's got en-suite etc, so I could potentially shut myself off for days if needs be, if I got sick. 

I'm following a strict routine to ensure there's some structure in my day and I'm not just rolling out of bed for work and then back in it.

  • 6am Wake
  • 6-8am Coffee, dosbods, read some of my book.
  • 8am - work
  • 12:30pm - run
  • 2pm - back to work
  • 4pm - stop work if I've finished what I planned to do for the day
  • 4pm - take the girls for a walk
  • 5pm - play xbox
  • 6pm - have a beer
  • 7pm - eat dinner
  • 8pm - get girls in bed
  • 8pm - have another beer
  • 9pm - bed


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Oooh creative writing, I reckon @Conniption will be all over this :D


Day 4,596. Most other people stopped counting long ago but, being a borderline autist, doing so brings me some sense of order so I continue with this daily ritual. My health is good, I have grown enough vegetables and sourced enough food to survive for at least another 4,596 days.

Last night was particularly scary, there was another black out. I believe he wanted my hoard of parsnips, so I had to take matters into my own hands. I realised that I have not seen one for a long time.

Online chess is going well, I am now a grandmaster.

Edited by spunko
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I awaken. Except for the sound of a slurry spreader my part of the world is silent. The breeze is heavy with the scent of well-rotted manure and I detect the percussive slap of trainers on a country lane, coming closer. The pinhole camera effect of their passage shines in rays through the folds of my curtain, right-to-left across the ceiling as they pass left-to-right outside. Just another unsettling effect in a fortnight full of them.

I don't really keep up with the lies anymore, just let them wash over me while I pull into myself more and more tightly like a turtle in acid rain. I know it will penetrate my shell eventually but for the time being I buy a day of self-protection at a time.

On their cautious forays through their front doors, the neighbours skirt one another like repelling magnets, shout to be heard, signal with a wave when they aren't, then scuttle back indoors where at least they feel some control over their environment.

Myself, I don't care. I'm a stranger in a strange land at the best of times and I want something fresh for dinner. 

I was born in the last of the best days of two mighty empires. My people made at one time a great society of The West, and I was a part of it. I have been privileged to walk under the sun untroubled by the colour of my skin. To move about at will after dark unafraid. To smile at strangers and have that smile returned. To perform a kindness without fear of misunderstanding, or being perceived as weak or a fool.

My people envisioned, built and successfully maintained most everything the world covets though now we are shamed and persecuted; in most parts of the world we are raped, beheaded, crucified, taken into slavery and ethnically cleansed, then fined or imprisoned for complaining about it.

But this still isn't enough for Our Enemy. After all the insults, they now they seek to discover how controllable we are, how responsive to the fear they have continuously fed us since 9/11. With no shame, they tell us it's all going left-to-right when we can see it is right to left.

I kneel by the lane. I clip fresh greens. I hear a car. I stand, move aside to let it pass. 

It's a cop.

He rolls the window down. He asks my business. I say nothing, just stand there with a fistful of leaves. He asks again. I say nothing, I am stone. He tells me to get home. Get inside. Rolls up his window. Pulls away.

My favourite age was ten; I was green and glossy as a new blade of grass. As I learned more about myself and the world I determined that if I could design a life without an alarm clock in it I would count myself successful. I do not own a mobile phone, television, or ebook reading device. Nor do I travel by air, upload my work to a cloud service or use credit or loyalty cards. I had at one time a first generation pad but found it was destroying my attention span for books, and when it got too old for the corporation who made it to find it worthwhile to support the software—implicitly strong-arming me into buying new hardware that I did not explicitly need—I swore I would never have another.

I’ve been determined to remain free. I carry no debt, earn below the poverty level so pay no taxes yet take no welfare or dole. I am registered to vote but want as little to do with government as possible. I suspect many people live this way—cultivating the quiet life, talking to themselves in battered and well-thumbed journals or in unregarded nooks on the Internet—getting by. Getting along.

It’s nice to think we might be keepers of the secret flame and the holy fire, and though we may grieve for what could have been in the world we once knew, perhaps we also see the bigger picture; we know that eventually every earthly empire falls to dust and that maybe, just maybe, the epoch we are presently enduring is precisely how any great culture fails.

I look up. After a week of wall-to-wall blue sky the clouds are now returning and the promise of spring is occluded by a chill wind that makes the bare branches writhe like tortured souls.

I savour every day without forced vaccinations or a cashless society, though I know it is coming. And I know the vast majority will submit to both.

How do I know this? Because en masse we have assented to a panopticon. The majority have phones that record and upload everything. Government has no need to compile dossiers—we have happily done the work for them on social media, and with a level of detail the Stasi could only dream of. Something vital and joyous and free in human interaction is fled from the world, long before this supposed pandemic. Now we cannot even gather to protest anymore.

Say you are in charge—how do you circumvent the threat to your power base from the suicidal aggression of the people you aim to subdue and destroy? How do you get people to give up and stand down while you replace them with more malleable slaves? The final stage takes some time—almost exactly the span of my lifetime as a matter of fact—but it’s really quite simple: just refer to The Psychopath Playbook for Governments; make people trust you, then love you, then become completely convinced they cannot live without you and you will have laid the foundation to support the world’s most elaborate structure of lies.

You then gaslight the population by making them dependent upon a media you control. By a steady drip-feed of informational dissonance you get them to doubt their own discernment—show them one thing, then insist it’s entirely the opposite, again and again. You bombard them relentlessly with blinding and deafening entertainment input so they can no longer hear the pure silver tone of their own sovereign souls. Tell them they were born to produce and consume, then run them to ground, get them to lock themselves in their homes, root them out one by one and destroy them.

I find I have crushed the plants in my hand. The smell of wild garlic rises. I have enough now. I pick up my overflowing basket. I trudge home.

There was a time when my culture’s birthright was the glittering promise of creating so much more, forever, and even though we are presently incarcerated by those who do not create, only conquer and enslave, I had those freedoms, and they are mine still because they made me who I am. The tragedy is that the children of today see the ghost of these freedoms in old films and television shows and dismiss them as fiction.

Like every human, every republic is born in blood and shit, then patiently nurtured into a shining entity on a hill, the light of the world, coveted by all who desire a place within its walls and cherishing a dream of administering their own share of its brightness, but no one can return lost savour to salt or restore a republic that has died—it can only be born in blood and shit once more after a long and costly war.

I was tethered for many years to the notion that if I argued a point long enough I’d actually change or save or convince others to see things my way, the right way, the only way, but it’s a waste of energy pointing out the oncoming train when you can no longer vote your way off the tracks. Stepping off the rails and walking away from the argument changed everything for me. 

Perhaps we might take some comfort that we are present to chronicle the end.

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Carl Fimble
2 hours ago, 201p said:

Put your anecdotes here:


I'll call this week one of twelve, which I hope it will be, and hope it won't be extended much more. I've made a little tally chart like prisoners do in a cell to mark off the weeks. 

I've just came back from a bike ride to the shops in town. It's a beautiful morning, sunny, but a chill wind is in the air. It'll be my exercise and shopping for essentials.

It is dead, the roads are dead, the streets are dead. You see the occasional jogger, or dog walker, and that's about it. This is the closest thing to a zombie apocalypse. I rode in to town on the dual carriageway where the limit is 40mph, no cyclists dare ride on there normally as it is so busy and dangerous, but I could ride it no problem. I am not a pure fundamentalist cyclist that wears the full lycra.

A few people I pass in the street would more than likely say hello, which lifts the spirits. I  guess people are starved of socialising and will seize an opportunity to talk to a stranger if they can. One shouts hello from across the streets and gives the thumbs up, I give him the same back.

I pop into a Tesco small convenience store, I have a quick walk around, but they don't have what I need. As I leave and unlock the bicycle, a young man pulls up in a beemer, and shouts, "Is it one in one out"?, I go, no, you can go straight in. He says " the world's gone mad, although it was already mad", I shout yes, in agreement. As he walks in, he says "this is the great cleansing" - he is right.

I reach the town centre. I pop into another shop that I won't name, as I don't want others to know. I managed to get in without queuing, and actually pick up a 9 pack of toilet roll! Hurrah! I feel like a domestic cat being fed - must put this away before anyone else gets it. I scurry this into my backpack, and make sure no one sees the high value cargo that I am carrying back home. I curse myself for not using the car, because I could have bought the Ark of the Covenant-24 large packs. But this is a good sign, that toilet roll is coming back to the shelves.

Another corner shop, I pop in to get a drink. A member of staff moans about being on the front line, and that she could get the virus. I hand her the exact money into her hands which were wearing plastic gloves.

I decide to cycle through the high street - everything is closed. Clothes shops, Fast food, Coffee Shops, Travel agents, all of it. I pass a pharmacy, it is supposed to be open now. A young man is waiting for it to open. I ask him if he knows when - he has no idea. I decide not to wait, and wished him "Good Luck".

I go through a rough part of town, and they have a market with fresh fruit and vegetables - great, but I have no more room to carry things. I must fit some panniers and a rack when I get back in, I tell myself. It was like looking at a oasis mirage when you're in the desert. All those vibrant colours from the bananas, oranges, cabbage in the morning sun etc. I make a note to come back to this place with the car another Saturday, and to have cash as they won't be taking card payments.

I pass a Sainsbury's and the queue is at least 40 people long, spaced out at 2m between each other. It is OPEN, but only a few are let in at a time. There is one staff member wiping down the trolleys with disinfectant, and a police officer standing outside on guard too. I shudder to think about people with no car, bicycle or internet, and have to rely on shopping like this, or others to shop for them.

I get back home, do a full hand wash, face wash and nose wash. I get changed. Phoned father to see how he is. He said he'd been stopped by the police in town. They told him can he can resume shopping, and his visit to the bank (which also had a long queue outside), but if they see him again in half and hour he could be fined £60 for loitering. He tells me there are a lot of police patrols. I ask if he is well stocked up, and fortunately he is, and is taking this well.



Excellent idea for a thread, I had though of doing something similar offline using pens and paper, but haven't done so yet. 

Looking forward to reading the rest of this thread, thanks Gordon!

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Day 6:

I am alone in the office block.

I sit in front of my computer preparing a construction project estimate for a BAU scheme that will never happen.

Gong looping infinitely on spotify.

A tomato walks in wearing a top hat and carrying a dead albatross.

I look up, shrug my shoulders and get back to it.


Edited by Sasquatch
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Green Devil

The kids are starting to do my head in. 

The sole has come off my walking boots, so I can't hike anymore. That's teach me to buy lidl shit. 

I can't buy any paint(sandtex) to paint the house exterior, everywhere is sold out. 

Ho. Hum. 



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1 hour ago, Conniption said:

As I learned more about myself and the world I determined that if I could design a life without an alarm clock in it I would count myself successful

Nice.  Like this bit.

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23 minutes ago, 201p said:

no this is in St Marys Southampton

Yep, kingsland market, we used to drink in a pub called the Plume & Feathers right next to it. Only on footy days when we outnumbered the locals tho.

I remember walking thru there after returning from India. It sent a shiver down my spine. That's the future for this country right there. 

Edited by Calcutta
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Far orut in the unchgetrd backwaters of the undfashionable enfd of the westekrn spiral armb of the Gkalalxy lies a smjall, unregdcarded yelltow sstun.

I have spy-ified a famous opening line to a book, anyone know it? No cheating.

48 minutes ago, Stuey said:

Read didn't this bollocks. 

Cheer up goth!  :D

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As I type this I'm just back from visiting the folks. They are my biggest worry, what with them being on the wrong side of 65. Thankfully they're taking the isolation side of things seriously but at the same time don't seem overly anxious which is nice. I hope that between them, my brother and I we can collectively get enough food via online delivery's and click and collects to mean that they don't have to see the inside of a large supermarket for the next 3 months or so.

I went out of my way to follow a routine and try and keep in contact over phone with friends and family, but if this thing stretches on for 12 plus weeks I could see it being a real challenge to avoid slipping into a depression. As someone who lives alone in a small flat and will only see other people once a week (and the government don't even want me doing that), an extended period of social isolation like this is extremely unhealthy, even by my 'introvert' standards. If I followed government advice to the letter I'd basically have 12 weeks of Solitary Confinement, although when you're in solitary in prison you're not also expected to deliver a software project in the middle of a pandemic (more of that later).

Whilst I'm grateful to still have a job, I do not feel overly motivated at the moment - the next few months are going to be challenging enough without a ton of workplace stress slapped on top. What's added to this feeling is the fact that it's obvious that a big percentage of the population, and a big percentage of the 'work from home' folk within my own organization are basically going to get 3+ months off work where there is very little or nothing to do (except the obvious of trying to keep yourself and your family well).

I had naively hoped that I could spend a few months just keeping things ticking over in work, nothing too strenuous, and concentrating on looking after myself and the family. But on Friday I got an email from my boss basically saying that I and the other bloke in my company who are the two productive ones have been put on a new project with another department led by a bloke who has a history of being quite the slave driver, where we have to figure out how to use a new extremely badly documented tech stack for the first time and deliver something in a couple of months, basically deliver it remotely during the peak months of the outbreak. While most of the people in my company will be doing very little.

I was livid when I read it. Slept badly as a result. While others spend months with their families and little/no work to do, I'm expected to spend months in solitary fucking confinement working away trying to deliver an entirely new kind of project without actually being in the office? Fuck that. I'm not going to make myself ill over this. I didn't even reply to the email and I'm trying to put together a civil reply on Monday that will 'manage expectations' but will fundamentally be telling upper management to catch themselves on.

Was talking to brother about one of his mates, bloke's early 30's and never had a full time job. He eventually got some nonsense degree and is in now in a government run training scheme where the government pays people to train for some skillset that's short in the econcomy. Well that's all been put on hold, but they've agreed to keep paying him the amount that they were paying him to turn up for the course until all this is over. So he gets a three month (or more) government funded holiday to chill out and fuck his live in girlfriend, yet I'm being asked to produce produce produce for a few months on end with virtually no human interaction.

I must have 'mug' written on my head. Fuck this.

Rant over. Hopefully in a better mood next week.

Edited by JoeDavola
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@JoeDavola did you know that you can make video calls or even video conferences with friends / family. Lots of free software options are available for this. I did that yesterday, it wasn't too different to an evening in a pub. In fact, I am quite happy not to speak to anyone today now

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I think the current situation will be for months not weeks! 

My diary to date....briefly.

Tuesday morning I woke up on my birthday and well aware of the new restrictions about leaving home.

I felt quite stunned to be honest because my life was radically different overnight although I knew it was coming.

Normally I would have moaned about waiting in a queue at a chemist but saw it as a valid reason to go out and collect a prescription for a close relative. I spent 40 mins queuing and collecting prescription but managed a two mile plus walk with that task plus delivery.

Went with my dogs to river and interacting was notably changed. Other than that cooked tea and chatted on line with daughter and read dosbods.

Wednesday I had something to do that hasn’t stopped yet and the day felt quite normal overall.

Thursday I walked down town and felt despondent by what I saw. On the way home a local women strongly berated me for not keeping out her way. I was the only person walking on a wide path while she was crossing the road. The pavement on the other side was empty. She visibly reeled back from me and drew her scarf around her face like I was a leper. I wasn’t anywhere near her. Most unpleasant experience! Went to the river later on after doing household stuff and it was ok then home, cooked tea and chatted on line with daughter, dosbods etc.

Friday. Went to corner shop for milk then busied myself at home before going to river with dogs. I’m personally not bothered if I catch this virus but wouldn’t want to spread it to anyone else so have kept back from people. Some people know my views. One person that does know them commented that they knew I wasn’t bothered but you have to think of other people. I felt enraged! Responded that I wasn’t going anywhere near anyone and therefore I was respectful of others.

Saturday. Well I’m truly isolated now and accepting that people are keeping their distance, don’t want to chat, frightened, critical of others, willingness to report “unacceptable” behaviour.....This morning I queued at an Aldi for 5 mins got in and out for fresh stuff and no need to go back for a bit. Got on with house/solitary stuff on returning home. Went to river this afternoon on the less well travelled path. Going to catch up with daughter soon....son is fine keeping in touch with friends online/games, a daily cycle ride and visit to corner shop for beer.

Cant believe that life has changed so dramatically and quickly in my rural town even though I knew it was coming with the pandemic situation.

Not sure what I’ll be doing tomorrow. I have plenty to do at home but I am very sad about the loss of spontaneous chatting with acquaintances and people in general. 




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On 28/03/2020 at 15:53, spunko said:

Cut it again! But lower the blade. :D

Then lower it again tomorrow and do it again!

Found a load of wood in my Shed.

Think I will make a Coffin. 

What height are you? 

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^Supermarket, pharmacy, bank queues are the new normal


"Welcome." I sound like Dr John Campbell, who is getting a bit of notoriety from his youtube work on Covid-19. I don't watch the videos as closely as before or as often, as this is like an oil tanker that isn't going to change direction week to week or even month to month. The peak of this outbreak is yet to come, so they tell us.

As warmer weather approaches, I can't see how we can all stay-in going forward. This is our so called honeymoon period. The public has a short memory but I do think the effect of the media telling us the threat of this virus will have diminishing returns - Get Covid Done, Boris! What will happen in the 3rd week review of the lock down is anyone's guess. I picked "remove restrictions" in the poll, as an outside chance, which is probably a little too early.

I have adopted a new mental normality. I have come down from a high frequency brain wave pattern to a lower more sustainable one, but not as low as I would normally like, pre-Covid-19. I am sleeping better, but sometimes if I am tired after work, I go to bed too early, and will get up again in the early hours, like now. But at least it has reminded me to write the next part of the coronavirus diaries (a new entry every weekend). I am coming to the conclusion that this higher energy state makes me more productive than in normal times, though there is a personal cost I have yet to calculate. I am better in a bear market than a bull market, and this has been true in the last one in 2008.

My forward buying of supplies hasn't been touched, but being maintained. I go past one of the local Sainsbury's and I see a long long queue of at least 50-70 people queuing to go in, it must be a 1 hour wait at least. A cheerful employee with a music ghetto blaster tries to encourage the queue to dance whilst waiting. I say sod that for a game of soldiers, I cycle on to another place to get some supplies which require no queuing. I value my time more than others so it seems. I would rather pay a little more and get something from a smaller store, rather than wait around, and hope they have it once inside. 

A close work colleague has split up from their partner this week, it was not clever of me to mention first the Daily Mail reports of the domestic violence increase and murders, because of the lockdown. Ouch. I don't know if these relationship break ups are inevitable, or Covid-19 is being used as an excuse or bringing forward what was baked into the cake anyway, for many relationships.

I still come across people who have no idea what's going on or the significance of it - these are the most vulnerable/elderly people, or maybe they are just daft. Maybe it is best not to know the bigger picture. The wife reports that neighbours have been in the garden earlier today, mowing the lawn, and children playing on trampolines. What happens when all these activities are soon explored and exhausted?

Work is quieter as the level of traffic is lower than pre-lockdown. But the work is more intense as people who I thought were self isolating for a week, are turning out to be doing 12 weeks. 1 has come back after 7 days after losing taste/smell, and 4 are doing the full 12 weeks! Another has taken maternity leave early which is understandable. I think a small number don't have the NHS letter telling them to genuinely self isolate. You know the ones, in normal times, that will take a week off anyway, or go home early for the smallest reason. God made me a worker - sometimes I wish I was a shirker! Another one has taken this outbreak very badly and is proper mentally troubled, and has been off all week unexpectedly, I can't do much more to help, except not to bring this Covid-19 as a subject - don't talk about it, nothing good will come of it. To laugh and joke at work is probably the best way to deal with it. What we're going to do once this is over - to the pub!

I still dose up with vitamins, minerals, fish oils on a daily basis, washed down with the bicarb water.  I still believe I have already had this virus back in December odd - but if I do catch it proper, I will mention this in the diaries. When I come home from the dangerous outside, I do a full hand wash, face wash, and nostril wash, and get changed.

There is much more dog shit on the pavements lately - I guess people aren't picking up after their dog because there is no one to see them leaving it behind! Pick up your dog shit! Cnut!

When I travel to work, through the forest, I see sights that I don't normally see. Some mornings I see about 20 deer trying to cross the road. This morning I saw a fox trying to run away, normally you don't see them during the day. The forest car parks are shut, but I have seen tourists travelling about this afternoon - one was clearly lost, and the other had their whole family in the car, for a family outing. There are many more joggers and cyclists out - these people, I believe will come out of this much stronger. Keep calm and carry on.


Edited by 201p
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