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Byron

Bullshit talkers

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Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, Byron said:

i think it's a case of leaving no stone unturned for the possible nutcase on the internet to accuse the person replying of saying anything vaguely rude or upsetting.

Basically it's wrapping the person you are talking to in a cottonwool blanket of nice and fluffy words.

Mental, but that's the world we live in

Edited by Hopeful

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Just now, Byron said:

The world is full of bull-shitters.

The current bovine cack at work right now is the phrase "going forward".

This one has been around for a lot longer than the usual bull-shit phrases that only last a few months, and is used numerous times by every wanker in every meeting or phone conference I take part in.

Ditto politicians and any spokesman for corporate or public sector organisations.

Going forward, I am going to talk a load of shite...

 

XYY

 

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The gold standard of that particular cliche is when someone accompanies it with a double forward finger point.

I know one person who always did that.

On a par with mining quotation marks with both hands to give additional emphasis to a word or phrase.

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6 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

The gold standard of that particular cliche is when someone accompanies it with a double forward finger point.

I know one person who always did that.

On a par with mining quotation marks with both hands to give additional emphasis to a word or phrase.

A tosser at work was using the phrase "glide path" every five minutes a while back - and he would use both arms to demonstrate the concept of a plane landing as the shite came out of his mouth.

It was like watching "Vision On"...!

 

XYY

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3 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

A tosser at work was using the phrase "glide path" every five minutes a while back - and he would use both arms to demonstrate the concept of a plane landing as the shite came out of his mouth.

It was like watching "Vision On"...!

 

XYY

Except you had to listen to it.

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2 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

Yes indeed.

We're sorry we can't return any of your pictures, but there's a prize for every one we show...

 

XYY

I watched a program about Tony Hart, and childrens' TV of the 60s. Tony Hart was previously a Captain in a Gurkha regiment. He could draw pretty well though.

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Just now, MrPin said:

I watched a program about Tony Hart, and childrens' TV of the 60s. Tony Hart was previously a Captain in a Gurkha regiment. He could draw pretty well though.

Really..? My flabber is gasted..!

I always had him down as a camp old poof...

 

XYY

 

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1 minute ago, The XYY Man said:

Really..? My flabber is gasted..!

I always had him down as a camp old poof...

 

XYY

 

Who knows? I just can't imagine him drilling Nepalese soldiers with big knives, but that was his job.

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Anything sent to me with the phrase "reaching out" within the first sentence is immediately deleted. I can cope with just about all other corporate phrases apart from that one. it raises the blood pressure for some reason. "End of play" riles me up a bit too but I have learned to co-exist with it.

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Being a corporate management type I don't mind a lot of it. Sometimes you just have to accept it as the Lingua Franca of the people you're communicating with and consider it to be like talking to someone in their own language.

I still restrict my use of it as much as I can though.

One lad I know uses it all the time, even in normal conversation. Instead of saying something like 'I rung John', he'll say 'I reached out to the service team and engaged John on this'.

Twat.

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58 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

A tosser at work was using the phrase "glide path" every five minutes a while back - and he would use both arms to demonstrate the concept of a plane landing as the shite came out of his mouth.

It was like watching "Vision On"...!

 

XYY

I just can`t deal with that shit ,my shortest job ever ended in the team building phase when everyone had to stand up and introduce themselves and give a little speech about who they were/there background/interests  and why they came there to work  ,i stood up and said nice knowing you all i`m out of here and fucked off

I should have seen it all coming when they had a huge poster with photos of everyone that worked there with their job tittles and other interests on it , FFS there were two efficient use of the mind officers 

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9 minutes ago, Roger_Mellie said:

Being a corporate management type I don't mind a lot of it. Sometimes you just have to accept it as the Lingua Franca of the people you're communicating with and consider it to be like talking to someone in their own language.

I still restrict my use of it as much as I can though.

One lad I know uses it all the time, even in normal conversation. Instead of saying something like 'I rung John', he'll say 'I reached out to the service team and engaged John on this'.

Twat.

Why not put a dangerous laxative in his cappuccino?

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I worked briefly with a guy who used to reply, "Thanks for the download" every time someone gave him a quick update on something. Every time he said it all I could picture was the other person shitting on his head from a great height, which to be fair, they quite often were.

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38 minutes ago, Long time lurking said:

I just can`t deal with that shit ,my shortest job ever ended in the team building phase when everyone had to stand up and introduce themselves and give a little speech about who they were/there background/interests  and why they came there to work  ,i stood up and said nice knowing you all i`m out of here and fucked off

I should have seen it all coming when they had a huge poster with photos of everyone that worked there with their job tittles and other interests on it , FFS there were two efficient use of the mind officers 

Er, shoot me down in flames Lurky but I think you've just used a bull-shit phrase...

;)

 

XYY

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1 minute ago, The XYY Man said:

Er, shoot me down in flames Lurky but I think you've just used a bull-shit phrase...

;)

 

XYY

It`s was a situation forced upon me there is no other way to describe what that bull shit is called 

That job was all the confirmation i needed to tell me i will always be a contractor and never an employee 

In my world i still have to deal with Valley commandos who think it`s perfectly ok to use the phrase sweating like a n**** on a rape charge whilst working with ,yep you guessed it 

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Posted (edited)
51 minutes ago, unregistered_guest said:

But does he touch base in order to action things?

Of course. 

Tic-tacs with the R&D manager to gauge progress on the key initiatives before running his findings up the flagpole to obtain backing from the senior stakeholders prior actioning any changes.

Edited by Roger_Mellie

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Posted (edited)

What also annoys me is this forced informality, you will see this now on all government websites, its called "tone of voice" which is fancy talk for turning everything in to chav-speak:

Quote

 

"You must tax your vehicle even if you do not have to pay anything, for example if you’re exempt because you’re disabled.

You’ll need to meet all the legal obligations for drivers before you can drive."

 

Rather than, for example:

You must tax your vehicle even if no payment is due ...

You must meet these legal obligations in order to be eligible to drive.

Edited by goldbug9999

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6 hours ago, The XYY Man said:

Really..? My flabber is gasted..!

I always had him down as a camp old poof...

 

XYY

 

Tony Hart saw active service in both the Second World War and the Korean War.

My Dad knew him and he was a really nice bloke.

That combination of aesthete and warrior was something that used to make the UK a bit special. No more sadly.

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