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whitevanman

Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites

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2 hours ago, Butthead said:

A few years ago I was visited by a family of Jehovah's Witnesses. I made the mistake of engaging the father of the family in debate about their beliefs, that clearly marked me out as a potential convert because he visited me a couple more times. The last time he visited me was with a very attractive young lady who gave me a beaming smile as I opened the door, and while I didn't chat to them that time I got the impression that he'd brought her along as 'bait', of a sort.

(Edit - double post)

All the female Jehovah's that come round here are tasty. 

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6 hours ago, JoeDavola said:

Yup.

But I guess, in that context, that bloke is actually on a path to quite a high status profession within that 'community'.

I remember one bloke in particular from school who was a bit of a buffoon, and always had the piss taken out of him, and then a couple of years after I we left school photos of him and his now wife appeared on social media. She was literally a 10, genetic perfection and at least 5 years younger than him. And she's now had his babies. In the open marketplace, espeically the post tinder one, he'd be incel or landed with a landwhale nagging him. But he has a stunner carrying on his genes. Because church.

In other news.... I don't know where else to put this:

https://syncni.com/article/2380/female-only-crowdfunding-platform-launched-in-ni?fbclid=IwAR1fumF7YEdvlTIoA3rrcd6wJ_ZJjzTK67c9A_CS0fvQP5tTsIX6-U8ey1E

 

Joe, you're a lovely bloke and don't take this the wrong way, but I'd struggle to think of a single person in any sphere of my life who emits more negativity than you. You really need to pick something and go at it with some gusto with no intention of either:

A) being successful at the endeavour

B) getting a shag

Your quest for the perfect set of circumstances (e.g. looking for perfect press up form, rather than focussing on just being able to do a press up of any kind) is stopping you from growing in any way.

Just sayin':D

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2 hours ago, Roger_Mellie said:

Joe, you're a lovely bloke and don't take this the wrong way, but I'd struggle to think of a single person in any sphere of my life who emits more negativity than you. You really need to pick something and go at it with some gusto with no intention of either:

A) being successful at the endeavour

B) getting a shag

Your quest for the perfect set of circumstances (e.g. looking for perfect press up form, rather than focussing on just being able to do a press up of any kind) is stopping you from growing in any way.

Just sayin':D

I think JD is doing very well regarding A).......decent job and free time at work to pursue interests, substantial savings, comfortable home with tech/guitar etc to pursue personal interests. Interested in nutritional food and home preparation, keeps fit and ventures further afield on weekend and longer excursions.

As for B).....if he wanted JD could pay for a shag. Perhaps he’d like more than that. IMO it’s getting harder for all age groups to meet a long term partner.

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4 hours ago, Roger_Mellie said:

Joe, you're a lovely bloke and don't take this the wrong way, but I'd struggle to think of a single person in any sphere of my life who emits more negativity than you. You really need to pick something and go at it with some gusto with no intention of either:

A) being successful at the endeavour

B) getting a shag

Your quest for the perfect set of circumstances (e.g. looking for perfect press up form, rather than focussing on just being able to do a press up of any kind) is stopping you from growing in any way.

Just sayin':D

It's late and I'm tired so I'll probably not be as eloquent as I'd like.

You are correct I have long had a tendency towards being a negative fucker, most of my adult life actually, and this trait is getting worse as time goes on and I spend more and more years feeling quite lonely, socially isolated, and feeling like I'm falling further and further behind my peers in terms of life achievements. I need to address it and repeatedly complaining about the same things on an internet forum might provide some psychological relief and perhaps even a touch of self righteousness, but it's a bit of a waste of time really isn't it.

Oh, and on a positive note, I am doing push ups now, in the gym, using a bar at waist height that enables me to do incline push ups since I can't do set of 'proper' ones yet.

So the pushups are sorted. It's just my fucked up brain and social isolation I have to sort ;)

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18 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

It's late and I'm tired so I'll probably not be as eloquent as I'd like.

You are correct I have long had a tendency towards being a negative fucker, most of my adult life actually, and this trait is getting worse as time goes on and I spend more and more years feeling quite lonely, socially isolated, and feeling like I'm falling further and further behind my peers in terms of life achievements. I need to address it and repeatedly complaining about the same things on an internet forum might provide some psychological relief and perhaps even a touch of self righteousness, but it's a bit of a waste of time really isn't it.

Oh, and on a positive note, I am doing push ups now, in the gym, using a bar at waist height that enables me to do incline push ups since I can't do set of 'proper' ones yet.

So the pushups are sorted. It's just my fucked up brain and social isolation I have to sort ;)

Joe, I say this without any irony or sarcasm: well done. Keep up the good work. I've been fortunate enough to have a couple of good mentors as an adult and one of them was fond of the cliche 'the longest journey begins with a single step'. I used to cringe when he said it as it's so cliched, as I'm sure you're cringing now, but it's absolutely true.

The social isolation might be something you never fully fix, my advice on that would be that in my experience most people are fundamentally lonely and struggle to relate to others. Extroverts deal with it in one way, introverts in another but it doesn't 'fix' anything.

My wife always complains that I'm too much of a pessimist, with an irrational view that the world is out to get me. I think she's right, but if you can catch yourself doing it then you can change your reactions and your behaviour positively.

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28 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

It's late and I'm tired so I'll probably not be as eloquent as I'd like.

You are correct I have long had a tendency towards being a negative fucker, most of my adult life actually, and this trait is getting worse as time goes on and I spend more and more years feeling quite lonely, socially isolated, and feeling like I'm falling further and further behind my peers in terms of life achievements. I need to address it and repeatedly complaining about the same things on an internet forum might provide some psychological relief and perhaps even a touch of self righteousness, but it's a bit of a waste of time really isn't it.

Oh, and on a positive note, I am doing push ups now, in the gym, using a bar at waist height that enables me to do incline push ups since I can't do set of 'proper' ones yet.

So the pushups are sorted. It's just my fucked up brain and social isolation I have to sort ;)

What? No you're not. (unless all your schoolfriends are now astronauts or whatever) Have you been looking at people's "perfect" lives on Facebook?

You know, until you wrote that I didn't think it mattered if you bought a house or not, now I think you need to. The process of taking the decision will be an achievement.

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6 hours ago, JoeDavola said:

feeling like I'm falling further and further behind my peers in terms of life achievements. I need to address it and repeatedly complaining about the same things on an internet forum might provide some psychological relief and perhaps even a touch of self righteousness, but it's a bit of a waste of time really isn't it.

Just to reiterate Swissy's replay. I didn't realise there was a competition here, what's the prize?

We all get dealt different hands - since we've raised the possibility of investigating church crumpet; here's a conversation starter for you. When you go, tell the prettiest single girl there that some religious nutter on an internet forum you frequent was ranting on about the meaning of the parable of the Talents. Then ask her what she thinks the story is really about. Whatever you do though, don't ask about the shrewd manager though.  Save that for the third date.

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22 hours ago, Austin Allegro said:

The problem is you would have to do it for much more than an hour a week. I'm pretty sure such a woman would want you to be praying with her daily (evangelicals usually have what they call a 'quiet time' where they pray and read the Bible every day for about an hour; she'd most likely want to do that with you) plus attending numerous house groups, church meetings etc. Would you be willing to attend, say, outreach sessions where you had to talk about Jesus to random strangers? All your socialising would be with church people as well at things like Alpha courses. Holidays would most likely be at Christian retreats. TV and films would probably be religious documentaries watched together.

If you're not prepared to do all this and give a convincing performance, you're likely to get labelled a 'backslider' and you'll find your wife slipping away from you and getting more and more frustrated because you're not on the same page with her. Remember that evangelicals are Protestants and are able to divorce, I suspect many would be quite willing to initiate divorce on grounds of incompatible beliefs - evangelicals often cite the Biblical verse about 'uneven yoking' to support hostility to marriages between mixed religions or even mixed denominations of the same religion.

Of course, it could go the other way and she might drift away from the church - but once that happens she's likely to fall into the arms of Chad and may well want to make up for 'lost time'!

Shit it was all looking quite promising then til you showed up with your reality check AA ☺ 

Should we explore some other religions then? Whats the American one where you can have multiple wives, something to do with quakers oats?

They should keep each other in check and you can do no wrong cause you just switch it up as required 

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12 minutes ago, Sugarlips said:

Shit it was all looking quite promising then til you showed up with your reality check AA ☺ 

Should we explore some other religions then? Whats the American one where you can have multiple wives, something to do with quakers oats?

They should keep each other in check and you can do no wrong cause you just switch it up as required 

My suggestion would be to get involved with something 'spiritual but not religious' - yoga, buddhist meditation centres etc.  There always seem to be quite hot women hanging around those places.

That's assuming you can stomach all the weird stuff about crystals and dreamcatchers and Red Indian ear candles and the like, and can pretend to have political opinions roughly in line with the Guardian newspaper/Green party etc.

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6 minutes ago, Austin Allegro said:

My suggestion would be to get involved with something 'spiritual but not religious' - yoga, buddhist meditation centres etc.  There always seem to be quite hot women hanging around those places.

That's assuming you can stomach all the weird stuff about crystals and dreamcatchers and Red Indian ear candles and the like, and can pretend to have political opinions roughly in line with the Guardian newspaper/Green party etc.

I have no idea really, but I suspect there may be a huge overlap between the women in these places and the ones already ignoring anyone on Tinder who doesn’t conform to their ideal (i.e. everyone who isn’t a con artist).

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19 hours ago, Butthead said:

A few years ago I was visited by a family of Jehovah's Witnesses. I made the mistake of engaging the father of the family in debate about their beliefs, that clearly marked me out as a potential convert because he visited me a couple more times. The last time he visited me was with a very attractive young lady who gave me a beaming smile as I opened the door, and while I didn't chat to them that time I got the impression that he'd brought her along as 'bait', of a sort.

(Edit - double post)

That happened to a friend of mine also. He said she was jaw-droppingly attractive so he asked her (and her male chaperone) to come back for regular chats. After a couple of sessions however the babe was replaced by some elderly gent instead!

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12 hours ago, Roger_Mellie said:

Joe, I say this without any irony or sarcasm: well done. Keep up the good work. I've been fortunate enough to have a couple of good mentors as an adult and one of them was fond of the cliche 'the longest journey begins with a single step'. I used to cringe when he said it as it's so cliched, as I'm sure you're cringing now, but it's absolutely true.

The social isolation might be something you never fully fix, my advice on that would be that in my experience most people are fundamentally lonely and struggle to relate to others. Extroverts deal with it in one way, introverts in another but it doesn't 'fix' anything.

My wife always complains that I'm too much of a pessimist, with an irrational view that the world is out to get me. I think she's right, but if you can catch yourself doing it then you can change your reactions and your behaviour positively.

If you can get past the cheesy presenting style, this video is quite good.

 

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14 hours ago, Roger_Mellie said:

Joe, I say this without any irony or sarcasm: well done. Keep up the good work. I've been fortunate enough to have a couple of good mentors as an adult and one of them was fond of the cliche 'the longest journey begins with a single step'. I used to cringe when he said it as it's so cliched, as I'm sure you're cringing now, but it's absolutely true.

The social isolation might be something you never fully fix, my advice on that would be that in my experience most people are fundamentally lonely and struggle to relate to others. Extroverts deal with it in one way, introverts in another but it doesn't 'fix' anything.

My wife always complains that I'm too much of a pessimist, with an irrational view that the world is out to get me. I think she's right, but if you can catch yourself doing it then you can change your reactions and your behaviour positively.

Thank you.

It's been years of trial and error but I think I've gathered together enough info to put together a good solid lifting plan, taking into account my starting point. For example instead of pullups I'm just hanging from a bar and alternating between passive and active hangs; i.e. building up scapular stability/control and grip strength. Hip hinges replace deadlifts for now. Kettlebell squats replace olympic bar squats.

Three lifting sessions a week - and if I can keep it up for a year and eat enough hopefully I'll be in a better position this time next year. We'll see.

The social isolation is something I've got to figure out outside of this forum.

 

Edited by JoeDavola

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Well some news from the coal face. Bird I know who recently detonated her marriage in less than 2 years to a nice guy just months after splitting up with her husband already has another bloke. She has two very young children, is very plain looking/podgy/post wall, is in her 30s and extremely high maintenance/demands the best of everything. Apparently she went online and was drowning in suitors.

Last time I tried online dating I couldn't even get a text back. I imagine her ex-husband will be in the dating wilderness for years

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13 hours ago, swiss_democracy_for_all said:

What? No you're not. (unless all your schoolfriends are now astronauts or whatever) Have you been looking at people's "perfect" lives on Facebook?

You know, until you wrote that I didn't think it mattered if you bought a house or not, now I think you need to. The process of taking the decision will be an achievement.

Houses yes, but also ability to form long term romantic relationships, better social circles, children, career progression - you know...life in general. And the older you get the less likely that you'll have a chance at having that.

But yes I know from my friends discussion of their married lives that it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

Anyway the main point is that the answer is not to be found whinging about things on the internet that I really shouldn't be giving a seconds thought too, like who some cunt from school got married to. Waste of time. I cringe when I read back some of my posts a few days later.

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5 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

Houses yes, but also ability to form long term romantic relationships, better social circles, children, career progression - you know...life in general. And the older you get the less likely that you'll have a chance at having that.

But yes I know from my friends discussion of their married lives that it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

Anyway the main point is that the answer is not to be found whinging about things on the internet that I really shouldn't be giving a seconds thought too, like who some cunt from school got married to. Waste of time. I cringe when I read back some of my posts a few days later.

Have you ever thought about taking the opportunity to make a clean break from Belfast and see a bit of the world?  I guess you've got some money behind you and I believe you're in IT so should be able to get a job in lots of different places.  Use the opportunity of being single to do something positive.  Going somewhere else isn't always a panacea as you always taking yourself with you :) but I think you might benefit from stepping outside the small world of NI.  Some firms let you take an extended break but, if not, you should be able to get work in NI again if things don't work out.  Where to go?  Don't really know but I'm sure there would be plenty of suggestions on here if you take my suggestion seriously.

I've resisted commenting on your negativity and somewhat hostile attitude to women but thought I'd maybe join the bandwagon :).  IPlease take my post as well-meaning help and the internet equivalent of dragging you down the pub for a pep talk.  I think you seem to be putting women in the "Madonna" or "Whore" categories when they are somewhat more complicated beings B|.  Maybe I've been lucky but I don't recognise any women from your descriptions ; I'm around 20 yrs older that you though but I'm not convinced that women have changed that much, don't recognise anything you describe in my daughters or their friends.

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48 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

Houses yes, but also ability to form long term romantic relationships, better social circles, children, career progression - you know...life in general. And the older you get the less likely that you'll have a chance at having that.

But yes I know from my friends discussion of their married lives that it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

Anyway the main point is that the answer is not to be found whinging about things on the internet that I really shouldn't be giving a seconds thought too, like who some cunt from school got married to. Waste of time. I cringe when I read back some of my posts a few days later.

Although I'm chronically single I take comfort in the fact that I have been given (or have been able to develop) the mental and emotional resources to deal with it most of the time. I suspect you are the same and probably most of us are on here, as we tend to be of an independent mindset. I've been fortunate enough not to be one of these whiny 'incel' types. I do believe the universe, or God, or life or whatever you want to call it does in most cases give us the resources we need - the Lord will provide, and all that - to cope with what is thrown at us.

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On 20/05/2019 at 13:41, Austin Allegro said:

The problem is you would have to do it for much more than an hour a week. I'm pretty sure such a woman would want you to be praying with her daily (evangelicals usually have what they call a 'quiet time' where they pray and read the Bible every day for about an hour; she'd most likely want to do that with you) plus attending numerous house groups, church meetings etc. Would you be willing to attend, say, outreach sessions where you had to talk about Jesus to random strangers? All your socialising would be with church people as well at things like Alpha courses. Holidays would most likely be at Christian retreats. TV and films would probably be religious documentaries watched together.

If you're not prepared to do all this and give a convincing performance, you're likely to get labelled a 'backslider' and you'll find your wife slipping away from you and getting more and more frustrated because you're not on the same page with her. Remember that evangelicals are Protestants and are able to divorce, I suspect many would be quite willing to initiate divorce on grounds of incompatible beliefs - evangelicals often cite the Biblical verse about 'uneven yoking' to support hostility to marriages between mixed religions or even mixed denominations of the same religion.

Of course, it could go the other way and she might drift away from the church - but once that happens she's likely to fall into the arms of Chad and may well want to make up for 'lost time'!

 

4 hours ago, Sugarlips said:

Shit it was all looking quite promising then til you showed up with your reality check AA ☺ 

Should we explore some other religions then? Whats the American one where you can have multiple wives, something to do with quakers oats?

They should keep each other in check and you can do no wrong cause you just switch it up as required 

 

I reckon there would be women present in some churches who are also partly there looking for a "decent" man and who aren't 100% into the full on evangelical stuff, but don't want to be Chad fodder on Tinder either. What you might call "mild" Christians. 

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In the times today, a new dating site called Picked. The men have to put up photos, the women don't, and pick the men they like.

On the basis that women will like it, and men go where the women are, it'll probably be a success.

Back in the day (15 years ago) I used to have quite a bit of success on a site called girls date for free, where only the men paid a subscription.

Now I've been on plenty of fish for 10 years, and just one date in all that time (it was crap)

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5 minutes ago, AlfredTheLittle said:

In the times today, a new dating site called Picked. The men have to put up photos, the women don't, and pick the men they like.

On the basis that women will like it, and men go where the women are, it'll probably be a success.

Back in the day (15 years ago) I used to have quite a bit of success on a site called girls date for free, where only the men paid a subscription.

Now I've been on plenty of fish for 10 years, and just one date in all that time (it was crap)

An Ex GF tried dating sites many years ago. Her dates sounded either horrific or sad.

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