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whitevanman

Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites

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Back perusing a dating site...just read this, 39 years old....I got a headache just reading it:

Quote

Family is important and good values. Like music, drawing, and gardening. Work in education and a bit of a dreamer. Gentle disposition but I would wake the dead with my laugh! I try and exercise moderation and take care of myself with a healthy lifestyle. I'm bubbly and straight talking. No fake bake! Never really followed the crowd. Have always been comfortable doing my own thing. I enjoy light hearted fun but also can be philosophical. I take comfort in the power of the pen and like writing whether it be songs or poems. I've three cats (my fluffy beauties) the mum was a stray. My dreams can be rather vivid but what is life without colour. One thing I could not live without would definitely be my imagination! My favourite sitcom is the golden girls. Brings fond memories. I value honesty and take pride in my appearance. Like style and nice clothes. Although not a fake tan kind of girl. Prefer the natural look. I think chemistry is very important and have a thing about clean teeth! Lol. Nothing like a nice smile😁. My friends would say I'm chatty and caring. Although can be a bit quirky and love a good pun! Love open fires and cosy nights in with a good movie. Equally love blue skies and sunny getaways. I'm not a risk taker, very cautious and a deep thinker. Favourite season is spring when everything comes to life. I've an eye for detail but terrible with names unless it's a flower variety. I'm drawn to good looks and an enquiring mind with a flair for the arts. Prefer old fashioned pen on paper with written gems to treasure than an emoji fuelled SMS that lacks description. My biggest vice is how predictably unpredictable I am. Change my mind like the weather. But maybe I'm just in tune with the environment.

 

Just now, stokiescum said:

The best one was woman in black I got a blow job from my x with my boss in the row in front of me she had to ring me the next day and jokingly said has she told me my rota alterations we thought clair was giving you a blow job I said she was 

Um....I fingered a girl on a plane once?

Nan your blowjob stories are still better.

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1 minute ago, ninjaborrower said:

It was sounding good till "bubbly"

I tapped out when she described herself as 'philosophical'.

Just now, stokiescum said:

To

much hard work

a mental health issues stored up

Yep. Read it and thought 'fuck me this sounds like hard work'.

See this is why @stokiescum knows to go for women who aren't terribly bright ;)

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4 minutes ago, ninjaborrower said:

It was sounding good till "bubbly"

Nah, working in education came before that. 

3 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

I tapped out when she described herself as 'philosophical'.

Yep. Read it and thought 'fuck me this sounds like hard work'.

See this is why @stokiescum knows to go for women who aren't terribly bright ;)

Tbf, i dont think the one you posted about is very bright either. Just bonkers. 

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5 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

I tapped out when she described herself as 'philosophical'.

Yep. Read it and thought 'fuck me this sounds like hard work'.

See this is why @stokiescum knows to go for women who aren't terribly bright ;)

I actualy prefere clever women or cynical ones of society to live with I’m realy not into thick women I will fuck them mind you girlfriend material er no 

Edited by stokiescum

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7 minutes ago, One percent said:

Nah, working in education came before that. 

We all have are cross to bare,, i think being obese and annoying is a little worse than being a marxist lefty

 Unless its both

Edited by ninjaborrower

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Just now, ninjaborrower said:

We all have are cross to bare,, i think being obese and annoying if a little worse than being a marxist lefty

 Unless its both

And unicorn hair....  run. Quickly and far. 
 

one of my neighbors, lovely couple. Both retired in the last six months from public sector jobs. She has taken to weird clothes, like you would see a 20 odd year old wearing and unicorn hair. 
 

I avoid. Like the plague. 

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2 minutes ago, One percent said:

And unicorn hair....  run. Quickly and far. 
 

one of my neighbors, lovely couple. Both retired in the last six months from public sector jobs. She has taken to weird clothes, like you would see a 20 odd year old wearing and unicorn hair. 
 

I avoid. Like the plague. 

I actively teach my young kids that unicorn hair is a way of spotting crazy and dangerous people.  It's true.

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5 minutes ago, One percent said:

And unicorn hair....  run. Quickly and far. 
 

one of my neighbors, lovely couple. Both retired in the last six months from public sector jobs. She has taken to weird clothes, like you would see a 20 odd year old wearing and unicorn hair. 
 

I avoid. Like the plague. 

Does she dress like demis roussos as well,,thats a sure sign of the ulimate commie public sector worker,,it helps hide the fat

Edited by ninjaborrower

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2 minutes ago, One percent said:

And unicorn hair....  run. Quickly and far. 
 

one of my neighbors, lovely couple. Both retired in the last six months from public sector jobs. She has taken to weird clothes, like you would see a 20 odd year old wearing and unicorn hair. 
 

I avoid. Like the plague. 

I smile at unicorn hair at least it dyes out unlike cheap tats 

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4 minutes ago, One percent said:

And unicorn hair....  run. Quickly and far.

I know a woman who I'd guess has put on 3 stone or more in the last 2 years, and has decided to pair the weight gain with dying her hair pink.

She looks utterly ridiculous. I know I'm a cunt for saying that, but she does.

Edited by JoeDavola

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1 minute ago, ninjaborrower said:

Does she dress like demis roussos as well,,thats a sure sign of the ulimate commie public sector worker,,it helps hide the fat

She has lost weight since retiring and wasn't fat to begin with. Its like leggings and miniskirts. Not a good look on a retiree. 

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2 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

I know a woman who I'd guess has put on 3 stone or more in the last 2 years, and has decided to pair the weight gain with dying her hair pink.

She looks utterly ridiculous. I know I'm a cunt for saying that, but she does.

This was riding my cock less than 2 years ago joe I’ve realy got to get around hurting him for what he did to her I’m still picking the peace’s up today 

8E7D14F6-21BA-4978-8C2C-49406894AD5F.jpeg

D433953D-B394-410B-A3C2-B04F57A6C744.jpeg

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3 minutes ago, stokiescum said:

This was riding my cock less than 2 years ago joe I’ve realy got to get around hurting him for what he did to her I’m still picking the peace’s up today 

8E7D14F6-21BA-4978-8C2C-49406894AD5F.jpeg

D433953D-B394-410B-A3C2-B04F57A6C744.jpeg

Bloody hell stokie, we really dont need to see that thank you very much. o.O

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2 minutes ago, One percent said:

Bloody hell stokie, we really dont need to see that thank you very much. o.O

Well you need to see what your up against but to be fair she is now 18 lb heavier and thinks covering herself in cheap tats  is sexy it’s not I’ve lost interest maybe that’s her plan lol 

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23 minutes ago, stokiescum said:

Well you need to see what your up against but to be fair she is now 18 lb heavier and thinks covering herself in cheap tats  is sexy it’s not I’ve lost interest maybe that’s her plan lol 

Weight can be lost but defacing yourself with tatoos is generally for life.

There was a wee girl I used to knock about with when I was about 8 for a couple years. Used to go round to each others houses, she even gave me a valentines card one year; remember sitting in class with it on my desk. We'd, how do I put this 'play doctors' when the folks weren't about. Lost contact with her towards the end of primary school.

I went to uni with a mate of her mate who told me stories about how she was dating scumbags and buying them drugs and all sorts. I ran into her, at a bar in town when we were about 21. She was still slim but had piercings and had covered herself in these massive tatoos which was quite a rarity back in 2005. We chatted for about an hour, I didn't make any move cause I had even less sense back then as I do now. She made some throwaway comment about how I was the only bloke she'd known who hadn't treated her like shit blah blah. Exchanged emails but nothing came of it.

I saw her briefly one year later at the other side of a club and she had put on a ton of weight in the space of a year. I admit I'm a shallow so and so and I didn't find the weight gain attractive.

About a year ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop and I'm 99% sure she passed by the window. Our eyes met briefly as she recognized me but she didn't stop. She'd gotten absolutely huge; hair cut really short, basically turned into her mother who I remember was morbidly obese when we were kids. I know via the grapevine that she never had kids and isn't married or anything. All rather unfortunate.

Edited by JoeDavola

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My main beef is I’ve just recently seen all the shit he sent her 18 -24 months ago I was pissed off then with her and improbably mentioned it here but I’ve found all the shit he sent her on my lads iPad she must have taken pics of every message he sent her I can sort of understand why he has tipped her over the edge leaveing me to pick the bits up she got sectioned last year and is the midst of a relapse at the moment luckily im

off for 2 weeks I’ve done what the police and social serves have failed to do and have found him ok the police warned and warned him

then warned him

Before he finaly took the hint 6 months ago and vanished well I now know where he lives thanks to friends in debt collecting  she doesn’t know it and he certainly doesn’t it pisses me off that this twat who I don’t know can cause me chaos because she is so anxious about him that’s the problem with mental health 

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10 hours ago, stokiescum said:

Have you got a wand and a couple of rabbits 

Wands are those 240V AC industrial vibrators. Or 'massage wands'

N o pissign around with 4 AAA

The wands are an acvual proper massage tool.

 

 

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