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"Interesting" people you meet when buying or selling a house


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After our house viewings today, I was thinking about our previous buys and sells over the years. You do get to meet some unusual people. And when I say unusual, I actually mean bat shit crazy on occasion.

The purchasers of our last house were quite odd. They decided to buy after one short viewing (and we had been warned that they were known serial time wasters by our agent). 

We exchanged emails/mobile numbers which ended up being a bit of a mistake. They didn't move in for about 4 months as they were still selling their house (they bought ours with cash).

I received this email from the wife about 8 weeks after completion (repeated verbatim)

Hello Sasquatch. The bungalow is infested with massive flying ants that seem to be coming under the skirting board of the internal wall of the extension. I assume that you must have had this problem before? Why are they’re coming under the internal wall?

Why indeed? :wanker:

I was tempted to go fully philosophical with my response and start quoting Kant, Nietzsche and Confucious but in the end I just said that the house is in the countryside and ants live there as well. :D

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The next email (a week or so later):

Dear Sasquatch. How did you stop a million flies coming in to the kitchen when the glass doors are open?

With this one I was tempted to say that the house was built on an ancient American Indian burial ground and an exorcism might be in order. However, Mrs S reined me in at this point and told me to stop communicating with this mad lady.

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7 minutes ago, Sasquatch said:

The next email (a week or so later):

Dear Sasquatch. How did you stop a million flies coming in to the kitchen when the glass doors are open?

With this one I was tempted to say that the house was built on an ancient American Indian burial ground and an exorcism might be in order. However, Mrs S reined me in at this point and told me to stop communicating with this mad lady.

I'd have said when you open the doors, stand outside and kill a fly before it goes into the kitchen. Then when she came back and asked why that would stop them, just say there would only be 999,999 left.

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18 minutes ago, Sasquatch said:

The next email (a week or so later):

Dear Sasquatch. How did you stop a million flies coming in to the kitchen when the glass doors are open?

With this one I was tempted to say that the house was built on an ancient American Indian burial ground and an exorcism might be in order. However, Mrs S reined me in at this point and told me to stop communicating with this mad lady.

should have said it's important to keep a clean house

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Notable mentions.

I bought a project house, seller was very keen to get the cash asap. When I moved in I got lots of "buy a Thai mailorder bride" junkmail addressed to him. Heard later he had used the money to import a me-love-you-long-time bride and was living with her in a caravan in his mothers garden. Hope she was impressed.

I bought a project house, seller was keen to get a cash advance asap. Lots of baliff letters etc after he moved out (I think it was a family of 3 that had used about a dozen names). I visited court 3 times in less than a month with a different summons each time to explain, courts were actually helpful and put me on a "whitelist" and gave me a Court letterhead note confirming "There will be no future court proceedings against this address regardless of name." Result !

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I remember back in the late 80's my parents found a house they liked, viewed it a couple of times and found the owners to be a bit eccentric but friendly, offered full asking straight off the bat as it was just what they were looking for, offer accepted and the ball got rolling with surveyors and solicitors.

After a few months there seemed to be no progress occurring with the sale, neither the estate agents or the solicitors could offer any reason or explanation for why nothing seemed to be happening so one day my dad stopped off at the house on his way home from work just to have a polite chat with the owner and try and cast some light on the lack of progress and assure them that they were still very keen to buy.

The answer my dad got from the owner... ''we've decided we're not selling it anymore and even if we were we wouldn't sell to you if you were the last people on earth'' and slammed the door in his face!

 

 

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3 hours ago, Royston said:

I remember back in the late 80's my parents found a house they liked, viewed it a couple of times and found the owners to be a bit eccentric but friendly, offered full asking straight off the bat as it was just what they were looking for, offer accepted and the ball got rolling with surveyors and solicitors.

After a few months there seemed to be no progress occurring with the sale, neither the estate agents or the solicitors could offer any reason or explanation for why nothing seemed to be happening so one day my dad stopped off at the house on his way home from work just to have a polite chat with the owner and try and cast some light on the lack of progress and assure them that they were still very keen to buy.

The answer my dad got from the owner... ''we've decided we're not selling it anymore and even if we were we wouldn't sell to you if you were the last people on earth'' and slammed the door in his face!

 

 

Hope he got his 10% back, for costs.

What the fuck were the Eas and Solicitors doing - let me guess, fuck all.

 

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14 hours ago, Sasquatch said:

After our house viewings today, I was thinking about our previous buys and sells over the years. You do get to meet some unusual people. And when I say unusual, I actually mean bat shit crazy on occasion.

The purchasers of our last house were quite odd. They decided to buy after one short viewing (and we had been warned that they were known serial time wasters by our agent). 

We exchanged emails/mobile numbers which ended up being a bit of a mistake. They didn't move in for about 4 months as they were still selling their house (they bought ours with cash).

I received this email from the wife about 8 weeks after completion (repeated verbatim)

Hello Sasquatch. The bungalow is infested with massive flying ants that seem to be coming under the skirting board of the internal wall of the extension. I assume that you must have had this problem before? Why are they’re coming under the internal wall?

Why indeed? :wanker:

I was tempted to go fully philosophical with my response and start quoting Kant, Nietzsche and Confucious but in the end I just said that the house is in the countryside and ants live there as well. :D

The 1988 film "Moving" (pretty bad but has its moments) has always made me very wary in a caveat emptor way. 

 

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