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So if we are locked down socially which is looking likely, how about a thread for excuses for the old bill. I expect they'll be manning the road blocks stopping people. Since you're allowed to work. 

Perhaps something like carry a pot of paint and brush in a car and say you're painting a fence? Or print a business card and say you're quoting on a job for a fence? Or similar. Any more suggestions to avoid the inevitable fines? I wonder if you'll be able to say visiting a pub? 🤣

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7 minutes ago, Byron said:

If like me you do not watch TV or listen to radio, neither do I get any newspapers, how would I know unless my children tell me?

Was thinking about the papers today. Their reach must have been mullered as a result of all this. Individual paper purchases not so much but the collective readership picking up the paper on the train, cafe, work, on site, pretty much vanished.

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How about this.

”I’m an adult and can make my own decisions with other consenting adults. Your laws on socialising have not been debated in parliament or voted on and are therefore illegitimate. I will ignore them and you. Now get out of my way and mind your own business, you uniformed pillock. Oh and Fuck you, I’m dosbods”

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3 hours ago, Reck B said:

How about this.

”I’m an adult and can make my own decisions with other consenting adults. Your laws on socialising have not been debated in parliament or voted on and are therefore illegitimate. I will ignore them and you. Now get out of my way and mind your own business, you uniformed pillock. Oh and Fuck you, I’m dosbods”

'...and my name and address is Mr Stoke. E. Scumm, 15, Potteries Street, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffs. '

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3 hours ago, 23rdian said:

FTPACAB

  

2 hours ago, Green Devil said:

No idea what is! 

I'd hazard a guess that it's "Fuck The Police, All Cops Are Bastards". But I think we need a second opinion from the DosBoDs' resident Findeur d'Acronym Generale - if he isn't too busy telling Plod that he has urgent business investigating a French spy ring at Twycross Zoo, when sneaking out of town to pick up supplies of contraband pork pies and whisky....

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8 hours ago, unregistered_guest said:

  

I'd hazard a guess that it's "Fuck The Police, All Cops Are Bastards". But I think we need a second opinion from the DosBoDs' resident Findeur d'Acronym Generale - if he isn't too busy telling Plod that he has urgent business investigating a French spy ring at Twycross Zoo, when sneaking out of town to pick up supplies of contraband pork pies and whisky....

I figured it as Fuck The Pigs, All Coppers Are Bastards but yours is close enough...

 

XYY

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17 hours ago, unregistered_guest said:

Considered that possibility, but decided it was more the sort of thing you'd expect David Cameron to say...

To illustrate what I mean, I thought I'd relate this utterly fictitious tale of David Cameron and Gideon's student days:

George had just scored a large quantity of talcum powder from a local dealer - but the cops got wind of the deal and rang ahead to their halls to arrange an appropriate time and date for a drugs bust.

Dave and George therefore decided to hide out in a farmhouse on one of the family estates. A few hours later, Dave looks up and saw a group of uniformed men arriving at the gate. "I say, George," he called out, "her majesty's constabulary are here. What should we do?"

"Fuck the pigs!" George replied, hastily gathering up the white powder to flush it down the toilet.

Dave looked slyly at the nearby sty. "Do you think we've got time for that?"

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