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Mother-in-law isms

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2 minutes ago, dgul said:

Not my MiL, but my old boss' favourite Bond henchman was BlowJob (from Goldfinger).

We has a Mrs Malaprop at work who liked her football and one chap was trying to populate a whole team with her mis-sayings; he was up to about nine.

I remember Ray Butch Wilkinson (Wilkins) and Peter St Michael (Schmeichel).

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Was chatting to a nice rather posh lady the other day, I mentioned my legs were aching and she told me to have a nice bath in Durex when I get home.

It was only once I gave her an odd look and she paused before a look of horror and realisation appeared on her face and she blurted out "Radox, I meant Radox"

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13 hours ago, Byron said:

Friend of mine called at large posh house, after opening the gate, a large intimidating dog ran up to him.

A cut glass posh ladies voice shouted from the bedroom, 'Kick his balls'

The dog ran off howling,

The voice shouted, 'I meant the ones on the lawn you fool.'

Coincidentally exactly the same thing happened to Jasper Carrot.

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