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What was the worst incident of bullying you witnessed or experienced?


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For me it was some time in the early 2010s. I was at the Forum in Norwich City Centre which houses BBC East, tourism office/shop, Pizza Express and the main library. I was in the library looking for a few books.

I heard a very forthright 'I want customer service' voice: "Do you work here?". I turned around but the young chap - hipster appearance, maybe a student - wasn't talking to me but a young girl wearing a high Viz jacket. I think I have seen the girl around the city centre a few times, she may have had a learning difficulty. She was minding her own business looking at a rack of books or something. 

Quite why this idiot thought that the girl worked at the library was beyond me. She was clearly a user of the library. He then then said something very loudly to the girl followed by some swear words and she started crying and left the building. Dickhead was accompanied by another hipster type who was well over 6 foot tall. A lot of others started looking at these two dicks, dumbfounded. Myself included.

Building Security were nowhere to be seen and these arseholes walked out of the building about 30 seconds later. There were no library staff nearby either. 

I was a bit disappointed that they were not taken to task and  annoyed at myself for not challenging the idiot for his behaviour. However, back then my words would have been the wrong ones and probably would have got in some bother myself. 

It's sickening watching this happen. I hope the gobshite has received a dose of karma for that nasty piece of verbal against a vulnerable person. What makes people tick like that? 

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A kid at air cadets, 14 years old stood on parade at ease, 17 year old sargeant who had singled out the kid and been bullying him for months took a twenty foot run up and kicked the kid in the balls w

A failed attempted bullying. My missus was acting as a police liaison with the mental health unit in a rapid response vehicle, one mental health practitioner and a plod. Solely to respond to ment

In my experience those sorts of bullies tend to be slightly cracked Aspergers men who are unable to empathise with others and have probably experienced bullying themselves, and have just got into the habit of doing that with others. I think also men with early stage dementia can be a bit like that sometimes.

I recall when I worked with the parks service in London and was on point duty some prosecuting-barrister type tried something similar with me, with some 'don't you realise who I am' nonsense thrown in, because I wouldn't let him in to a restricted service area of the park. In the end I just said 'this conversation is over' and turned away from him!

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Maybe not the worst bit of bullying but the best response.

Two teenage girls on the tube were making nasty comments in turn about the entirely unremarkable bloke opposite them.  AFAIK he had done nothing to deserve this.

A smartly dressed woman tore a strip right off them for doing this; the sort of dressing down you don't usually see outside of school.  They looked like they were going to cry.

What a woman.  I don't think a bloke doing similar would have had the same effect of shaming them.

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Probably seen lots of minor incidences i've long since forgotten, nothing really stands out as super bad. Though In my first job, there was this 22 year old guy who was literally bald, down to the little horseshoe of hair round the back and sides, everytime our boss addressed him, it was be 'baldrick'. Mind, he was an arsehole anyway, who'd in turn be generally unpleasant to me or any of the other trainees.

Last I heard a year or two back (i last personally saw him in 2003), despite being thick as pig shit, he won some 'pick the winning shares - get a 100k job in the city' competition The Sun were running in the early 2000s. Pure luck of course, the guy couldnt add 2 + 2, but probably about the calibre of intelligence most in the city possess...so I guess lady luck fell at his feet eventually. 

 

To turn the learning difficulty thing on its head, about this time last year, maybe a bit later, I saw some 'mentally challenged' guy in Homebargains, after being told he couldnt have some toy by his carer simply sucker punch some little old lady who just happened to be squeezing past the shrieking retard.

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Mine was probably from the owner of another business located near to my office. He didn't bully me as such but the way he bellowed at his staff and threatened them with violence everyday made me wonder why anyone worked there. I came in one morning and caught him cuddling on the floor with one of his colleagues who he often treated like shit too, the entire situation was very weird.  In the end he did a runner owing the landlord thousands of pounds and phoenixed the company a few times then fell off the radar. 

 

He did threatened to throw me out the window once, but that was it.

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I have been bullied at various points of my life, physically and, for want of a better word psychologically, by various people. Of course not constantly, but it's always there as a possibility. People are always going to 'test' you in various ways. It never goes away - it's part of life.

Now I haven't been bullied in a way that I could respond to physically since I was about 16 thankfully, but there is a handful of occasions in my childhood that I regret not striking back physically, to both other children and in a couple of occasions adults who behaved in ways that were completely out of order.

So, unless you're having the shit knocked out of you by someone far stronger than you i.e. it's completely beyond you to stand up for yourself even with all the courage in the world; being bullied is something that is best overcome yourself rather than 'telling on' the bully in question and expecting someone else to make the world a fair place for you.

Doing so will help you figure out how to set boundaries and command respect in the world. If you don't figure this out then people are likely to walk all over you for varying degrees for the rest of your life.

 

Edited by JoeDavola
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11 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

I have been bullied at various points of my life, physically and, for want of a better word psychologically, by various people. Of course not constantly, but it's always there as a possibility. People are always going to 'test' you in various ways. It never goes away - it's part of life.

Now I haven't been bullied in a way that I could respond to physically since I was about 16 thankfully, but there is a handful of occasions in my childhood that I regret not striking back physically, to both other children and in a couple of occasions adults who behaved in ways that were completely out of order.

So, unless you're having the shit knocked out of you by someone far stronger than you i.e. it's completely beyond you to stand up for yourself even with all the courage in the world; being bullied is something that is best overcome yourself rather than 'telling on' the bully in question and expecting someone else to make the world a fair place for you.

Doing so will help you figure out how to set boundaries and command respect in the world. If you don't figure this out then people are likely to walk all over you for varying degrees for the rest of your life.

 

We're always told 'stand up to bullies and they'll run away' etc.

In simple physical bullying eg at school, that is usually the case.

However, workplace bullying can be very subtle - it's 'gaslighting' really - as bullies can be very clever and can manipulate people without them realising until it's too difficult for them to stand up for themselves.

Generally in that kind of situation where the whole atmosphere is toxic it's better just to move on if you can't fix the situation.

 

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6 minutes ago, Austin Allegro said:

We're always told 'stand up to bullies and they'll run away' etc.

In simple physical bullying eg at school, that is usually the case.

However, workplace bullying can be very subtle - it's 'gaslighting' really - as bullies can be very clever and can manipulate people without them realising until it's too difficult for them to stand up for themselves.

Generally in that kind of situation where the whole atmosphere is toxic it's better just to move on if you can't fix the situation.

 

Yes that's the kind of bullying I meant. But finding a way to deal with it rather than running away is unfortunately a necessary life skill.

And yes if you find yourself in social situations with people who ultimately turn out to be nasty gas lighting bully types, the best thing is to just find new friends. Or have no friends rather than cunt friends.

You'll know it when you see a look of glee in someone's eye when they're making you feel bad or look a fool, or at the very least think they are. Best not to spend time with that kinda person.

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3 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

 

Yes that's the kind of bullying I meant. But finding a way to deal with it rather than running away is unfortunately a necessary life skill.

And yes if you find yourself in social situations with people who ultimately turn out to be nasty gas lighting bully types, the best thing is to just find new friends. Or have no friends rather than cunt friends.

You'll know it when you see a look of glee in someone's eye when they're making you feel bad or look a fool, or at the very least think they are. Best not to spend time with that kinda person.

Yes I know that type. It can be very subtle sometimes. I think the big indicator is when they can dish it out but can't take it.

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16 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

The pack of wolves bullying of anyone on here who goes against the grain can get pretty nasty.

Thankfully, not only can take it - I can also bat the fucker right back at you fannies. Because I am not a soft Southern shandy-drinking bastard...

 

XYY

Clearly we need a bullying support network for all the aggrieved DOSBODers who have been bullied mercilessly on here. 

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2 minutes ago, spunko said:

Clearly we need a bullying support network for all the aggrieved DOSBODers who have been bullied mercilessly on here. 

Bollocks to that, ya big girl.

Those of us who swim against the DOSBODS tide are robust enough not to need any of that poncy shite...

 

XYY

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4 hours ago, JackieO said:

This is pretty bad. Couple haranguing teenager for not wearing mask on bus. Man then kicks her in the face.

Happy ending though another bloke then gets up leathers the bloke and holds woman by throat, then throws both of them off the bus.

What a man. B|

I'm not a fan of stomping on heads, but good on him for standing up to that pair of arseholes. 

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Was on the receiving end of a fair few incidents of bullying as a kid (10-15), some one-off’s, and others that lasted a month or two.

Obviously hated it at the time and never told my parents, partly through shame and partly because I knew there was fuck all they could do about (instead probably offering some piss poor advice, that would no doubt have made the situation worse).

They only found out about one incident as the school made the (older) bully write a letter of apology to them for bouncing my head off the urinals - he was suspended for a week or two. My mum still mentions it now, and will proudly remind me she still has the letter as if it is a family heirloom...

Grew and became a little more streetwise from 16 onwards, even bumping into urinal bully a few years later in a nightclub in Manchester - all good on both sides.

Anyway, even though some of those days were the darkest of my young life, I wouldn’t swap or change them one bit. Fully helped me along the way in becoming a man (not much help from many other quarters TBH 😂)

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7 hours ago, Frank Hovis said:

Maybe not the worst bit of bullying but the best response.

Two teenage girls on the tube were making nasty comments in turn about the entirely unremarkable bloke opposite them.  AFAIK he had done nothing to deserve this.

A smartly dressed woman tore a strip right off them for doing this; the sort of dressing down you don't usually see outside of school.  They looked like they were going to cry.

What a woman.  I don't think a bloke doing similar would have had the same effect of shaming them.

Kids are funny, all bravado.

Back when I coached Rugby I collared one (13 years old) about bullying and gave him a telling off in a very stern voice. I knew I'd gone too far when the tears started coming (before anyone says it, he was crying, not me). I guess that's what happens when you've never had a proper telling off in your life, and probably the reason he was such a dick in the first place. I then felt like a bully though.:ph34r:

I might aswell finish the tale, got home, said to my wife 'we're going to get a knock on the door...', which sure enough 30 seconds later - dad on the doorstep. I said come in, do you want a a tea or coffee and we can can straighten out what's gone on. No thanks, I just need you to apologise to X for making him cry. Errrr, that's not going to happen, see you later, he walked off, door shut, never talked again. We'd been pretty good mates up until that point.

 

Edited by Roger_Mellie
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I moved house when I was in P5 and went to a new school, the very first day a guy started giving me shit, we both ended up in the headmistress office and got our names in the black book. One of us had a burst nose and the other a burst lip, I can't remember which way round it was. I was traumatised, nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I remember crying and saying I hated this new place, and didn't want to go back to school. 

When I went to high school I got friendly with some people who lived in the place the school was, we were bussed in for one of the surrounding villages. I'd kick about with my new friends but would always have to get the bus home at the end of the night, alone. I have lost count how many times I'd encounter other groups on my way to the bus stop, sometimes it was fine, but sometimes I'd get shit for coming from this other village. I've been hit and attacked loads of times, and learned various ways of avoiding trouble- lots of it is just attitude, gait and stance. I'd rarely hit back as it was always 5-10 or more Vs me on my own. I was never knocked out, or even down, and seem able to take hits, I've never been a fast runner so never ran.

That not running thing left me alone with 15-20 older guys one night, everyone else had run or been taxed already. I was surrounded for what felt like ages but was probably just 5-10 mins, while one guy asked me where the drugs were and then punched my face when I didn't answer in a way he liked. I didn't have any drugs, and didn't know where any were hidden, but he was having none of it, until I started giving him shit, telling him to fuck off etc.

That one ended not long after I'd started giving him shit, and I was told to walk away, and not run. I managed to get to a corner before my body took over and I ran to safety.

Awful! Those fucking cunts, one of them got shot some years later and many people rejoiced as he was a local bad cunt and had been for years. 

While it wasn't fun it did teach me things I may have never learnt otherwise, number one rule though surely has to be- if someone hits you (maliciously) hit them back immediately, and harder. Then prepare to beat fuck out of them as though it was a fight to the death, almost anyway...

There are obviously times when fighting back straight away would be a terrible idea, but they're pretty obvious those sorts of times- surrounded by a load of guys who have just held a knife to your friends wrist to make him give them his watch for example (that's how the one I described above started).

I hate injustice, and hate the idea that someone has been made to feel scared, lonely, stupid or sad. 

I'm not into fighting really, but feel the world would be a better place if people knew they'd get slapped for being a dick. 

 

To address the OP properly though I'd say the worst bullying I saw was people spitting on the back of a boys jacket on the way home from school, as a parent now it's even worse, as I'm imagining him getting home and his mum and dad seeing the spit on his jacket, awful for them and him. 

People are the best and the worst, utter cunts and angels. 

Not gonna edit this, just post it as it is. 

Edited by Carl Fimble
Had to edit it as there were four during mistakes which were making it even worse to read than it is now
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15 minutes ago, Roger_Mellie said:

Kids are funny, all bravado.

Back when I coached Rugby I collared one (13 years old) about bullying and gave him a telling off in a very stern voice. I knew I'd gone too far when the tears started coming (before anyone says it, he was crying, not me). I guess that's what happens when you've never had a proper telling off in your life, and probably the reason he was such a dick in the first place. I then felt like a bully though.:ph34r:

I might aswell finish the tale, got home, said to my wife 'we're going to get a knock on the door...', which sure enough 30 seconds later - dad on the doorstep. I said come in, do you want a a tea or coffee and we can can straighten out what's gone on. No thanks, I just need you to apologise to X for making him cry. Errrr, that's not going to happen, see you later, he walked off, door shut, never talked again. We'd been pretty good mates up until that point.

 

Shitty parenting from him there...

My son gets all upset when he gets a row, and tries to get me to apologise, I explain why he got the row, he keeps being (or possibly just acting!) upset and says "you make me sad".

While I criticise that dad you had at the door I have at points said to mine "I'm sorry I upset you, but not sorry I gave you the row- you got the row because you...." threw down the Switch controller/spilled your drink and didn't clean it up/hurt your brother/broke something/were cheeky/etc, etc, etc....

 

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One of my uncles came to visit us from Ireland when I was 18. We went to the wrong pub because I didn't know any better. A guy and his mates started trying to pick on my uncle because of his accent. Eventually he'd had enough and faced off with the ringleader.

"Before we start" he said to the guy "I want you to ask yourself two questions, and if the answer to either is no, I suggest you walk away"

"What's the questions?" asked the guy.

"Are you prepared to kill me?" 

"Are you prepared to die trying?"

Him and his mates drank up and left.

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