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Seem to remember a guy who got a very small piano and an equivalently small about a foot tall guy to play it. This was after asking the genii for a 12-inch pianist.

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I like the story about madame DeGaulle:

Madame de Gaulle was said to have been lunching with the American ambassador at the time of her husband's retirement when she was asked what she was most looking forward to in the years ahead.

She thought for a moment before announcing boldly: "A penis". A startled hush fell over the table until the former president leant over and said: "My dear, I think it's pronounced 'happiness'."

[ it is probably untrue -- I've even heard that it was the Queen that replied.  Surely not.  (Queen Mum, maybe)]

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