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The Core Protocols


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Before I changed team Soy Boy in chief and his succubus introduced something called the "core" protocols. It is some kind of sinister "wahnsee" conference esque mindfuck to implicate everyone in bad decisions made by the team. There is even a book about it.

https://www.scrum.org/resources/core-protocols

Quote

The Core Protocols help you save time, take team decisions quickly and build trust to make a difference.

One of the things was voting on decisions.

So we have a vote on something. 8 to 4 in our team. Soyboy starts to huff and puff because he proposed the idea. Mahmood, you can't really be voting against? C'mon man, I thought you were on board. Eventually he bullies it down to 11:1 with just me against.

But how can you, what are you doing this Dave? Why vote against "experience" I reply. "It is a bad idea, you are overcomplicating things with your idea and it won't work".

This leads to a big row and I say "look I'm fine for you to take a decision on your own, your responsibility, you are the lead architect and I'll go along with it quite happily but I'm not voting for it because I think it is wrong."

What a load of old cock.

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Sounds like the sort of poor leadership that tends to be rife in many areas of large corporate management structures.

Nobody has any actual skin in the game,  they just want to take credit or ass cover as any situation requires in order to advance themselves to the next pay grade.

I doubt you'd get any of that BS in a privately owned SME.

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5 minutes ago, Libspero said:

Sounds like the sort of poor leadership that tends to be rife in many areas of large corporate management structures.

Nobody has any actual skin in the game,  they just want to take credit or ass cover as any situation requires in order to advance themselves to the next pay grade.

I doubt you'd get any of that BS in a privately owned SME.

These sorts of situations can be resolved quite effectively in large corporates if you are fortunate enough to have a basement car park.

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37 minutes ago, Dave Bloke said:

Before I changed team Soy Boy in chief and his succubus introduced something called the "core" protocols. It is some kind of sinister "wahnsee" conference esque mindfuck to implicate everyone in bad decisions made by the team. There is even a book about it.

https://www.scrum.org/resources/core-protocols

One of the things was voting on decisions.

So we have a vote on something. 8 to 4 in our team. Soyboy starts to huff and puff because he proposed the idea. Mahmood, you can't really be voting against? C'mon man, I thought you were on board. Eventually he bullies it down to 11:1 with just me against.

But how can you, what are you doing this Dave? Why vote against "experience" I reply. "It is a bad idea, you are overcomplicating things with your idea and it won't work".

This leads to a big row and I say "look I'm fine for you to take a decision on your own, your responsibility, you are the lead architect and I'll go along with it quite happily but I'm not voting for it because I think it is wrong."

What a load of old cock.

Agile and the whole wank circle of moonbeam MBA bollocks terminoly is a joke.

The only two semi formal methodologies that I've found helped in almost 30 years are-

1) Pair programming  or at least, very small focussed teams in one small area.

2) Test driven development. Theres was a bit of chicken-egg here, where TDD evolved at same time as the tooling (ELF SOs, unittest libraries/scripting languages) matured too.

I'm very suspect of people who describes themselves as 'architect's It normally means a bellend who loads different new, buggy, crap languages and libraries looking for a magic bullet. So you end up debugging the development environment as well as writing the new product.

 

 

 

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37 minutes ago, Libspero said:

Sounds like the sort of poor leadership that tends to be rife in many areas of large corporate management structures.

Nobody has any actual skin in the game,  they just want to take credit or ass cover as any situation requires in order to advance themselves to the next pay grade.

I doubt you'd get any of that BS in a privately owned SME.

Not quite.

Its an absence of any responsible, knowledable leadership.

Instead, you get some clueless bellend driving the org off a cliff.

 

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2 minutes ago, spygirl said:

Not quite.

Its an absence of any responsible, knowledable leadership.

Instead, you get some clueless bellend driving the org off a cliff.

 

Agreed,   though I think we are arguing the same thing from different perspectives.   
 

Any knowledgeable, responsible leader/manager doesn’t need his team to make his decisions for him.  They may ask them for thoughts,  but in the end they’ll just make the right decision because they have the knowledge and experience to know what they’re doing.

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6 minutes ago, Yadda yadda yadda said:

If you don't want the responsibility don't do the job.

Do you even want a team that agrees with everything? No dissenting voices, no alternative opinions.

They'll find it conflicts with the diversity agenda too. You're supposed to gain strength from difference.

A guy I worked for decades ago said to me 'Don't tell me what you think I want to hear, tell me what I need to hear.'

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8 minutes ago, Yadda yadda yadda said:

If you don't want the responsibility don't do the job.

Do you even want a team that agrees with everything? No dissenting voices, no alternative opinions.

They'll find it conflicts with the diversity agenda too. You're supposed to gain strength from difference.

Yes indeed. I would prefer 5 different answers.

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34 minutes ago, spygirl said:

Agile and the whole wank circle of moonbeam MBA bollocks terminoly is a joke.

The only two semi formal methodologies that I've found helped in almost 30 years are-

1) Pair programming  or at least, very small focussed teams in one small area.

2) Test driven development. Theres was a bit of chicken-egg here, where TDD evolved at same time as the tooling (ELF SOs, unittest libraries/scripting languages) matured too.

I'm very suspect of people who describes themselves as 'architect's It normally means a bellend who loads different new, buggy, crap languages and libraries looking for a magic bullet. So you end up debugging the development environment as well as writing the new product.

If I could like this post twice, I would. Spot on.

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15 minutes ago, Yadda yadda yadda said:

If you don't want the responsibility don't do the job.

Do you even want a team that agrees with everything? No dissenting voices, no alternative opinions.

They'll find it conflicts with the diversity agenda too. You're supposed to gain strength from difference.

Diversity of thought really matters when you are trying to identify the best way to solve a tricky problem, I found that it really helps to get different perspectives as otherwise it is so easy to get drawn into groupthink where you cannot see the wood for the trees and a gang of similar people wander down a blind alley because it makes sense to their way of thinking.

However, in this context diversity of thought means people with a different way of looking at things,  it is all about the way they think and their different individual experiences and skill.    In this context diversity is a real strength that brings real benefits.

Unfortunately in my experience in the corporate world, diversity means having a team with  9 genders in all the colours of the rainbow. This is bullshit and helps nobody - other than the wankers who are employed soley because of the diversity that they offer....

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I recently found this article after a change in management is currently trying to drag me back into the chaos of ‘agile’ after almost a decade of escaping it (and being much more productive, happier, and much lower stress levels without it); it’s a good read and hits on most of my problems with the approach:

https://michaelochurch.wordpress.com/2015/06/06/why-agile-and-especially-scrum-are-terrible/

Edited by JoeDavola
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1 hour ago, Libspero said:

Sounds like the sort of poor leadership that tends to be rife in many areas of large corporate management structures.

Nobody has any actual skin in the game,  they just want to take credit or ass cover as any situation requires in order to advance themselves to the next pay grade.

I doubt you'd get any of that BS in a privately owned SME.

I imagine it was the collective arse covering and refusal to take responsibility by Home Office Civil Servants that drives  Priti Patel to those paroxysms of swearing and shouting that has been filling the news.

Edited by Virgil Caine
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I went and looked up this Core Protocol thing, you can read all 9 pages of it (I certainly won't), but the first set of bullet points are enough to realize this is just a load of word salad bollocks - seriously how can anyone sell this garbage with a straight face:

http://www.mccarthyshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/The+Core+Protocols+3.03.pdf

image.png.f725d27c9d95d298cf40f89031f21c8c.png

Edited by JoeDavola
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1 hour ago, JoeDavola said:

I went and looked up this Core Protocol thing, you can read all 9 pages of it (I certainly won't), but the first set of bullet points are enough to realize this is just a load of word salad bollocks - seriously how can anyone sell this garbage with a straight face:

http://www.mccarthyshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/The+Core+Protocols+3.03.pdf

image.png.f725d27c9d95d298cf40f89031f21c8c.png

It is total wank.

Militaries around the world have been searching for the best ways to motivate small groups of individuals for centuries in the most effective way and few have succeeded. Put a small self managing group of individuals into a battlefield where shooting their weapons will attract lethal fire from an enemy and unsurprisingly quite a few of them will decide it is a good idea not to engage with the opposition.

It is also contradictory it sets out it wants rational, results based behaviour then lists a load of unmeasurable criteria for organising work based around emotional perceptions.

In fact the whole concept it is a charade. The form of the Protocols are dictated from the top of the corporate hierarchy which simply does not make decisions in the way the document sets out.

 

 

Edited by Virgil Caine
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36 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

I went and looked up this Core Protocol thing, you can read all 9 pages of it (I certainly won't), but the first set of bullet points are enough to realize this is just a load of word salad bollocks - seriously how can anyone sell this garbage with a straight face:

http://www.mccarthyshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/The+Core+Protocols+3.03.pdf

image.png.f725d27c9d95d298cf40f89031f21c8c.png

Some cunt wrote that and thought it was the best it could be.

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7 minutes ago, Virgil Caine said:

It is total wank.

Militaries around the world have been searching for the best ways to motivate small groups of individuals for centuries in the most effective way and few have succeeded. Put a small self managing group of individuals into a battlefield where shooting their weapons will attract lethal fire from an enemy and unsurprisingly quite a few of them will decide it is a good idea not to engage with the opposition.

It is also contradictory it sets out it wants rational, results based behaviour then lists a load of unmeasurable criteria for organising work based around emotional perceptions.

In fact the whole concept it is a charade. The form of the Protocols are dictated from the top of the corporate hierarchy which simply does not make decisions in the way the document sets out.

 

 

See the fall out with Oz SAS.

It's being flagged as a military failure - SF shooting 'farmers'

I think of it as a military execellence - taking out loads of combatants without nuking the area.

Farmer by day, ISIS insurgents by night.

On the protocols, it assumes theres a simple, written down solution. There isnt.

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1 hour ago, JoeDavola said:

I recently found this article after a change in management is currently trying to drag me back into the chaos of ‘agile’ after almost a decade of escaping it (and being much more productive, happier, and much lower stress levels without it); it’s a good read and hits on most of my problems with the approach:

https://michaelochurch.wordpress.com/2015/06/06/why-agile-and-especially-scrum-are-terrible/

Cheers Joe, excellent article.

I've forwarded on to a couple of friends who should benefit.

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16 minutes ago, MrLibertyRedux said:

Cheers Joe, excellent article.

I've forwarded on to a couple of friends who should benefit.

It's brilliant isn't it - he even mentioned somethings that I had subconsciously known but not really spelt out or linked to 'agile'; like the complete lack of benefit to you in terms of any career progression if your working life involves doing little scraps of work here and there trying to wrestle with lots of different ill-advised frameworks (some of which no one will be using in 3 or 5 years) but not actually becoming an expert in anything.

I'll be fighting the new management because that's exactly his plan; that 'engineers' should be in constant movement to whatever a 'high priority' is, even if it's in a framework/platform that they've never used, because they're 'engineers' who can sort anything out. So you spend most of your time frantically wrestling with something you have little experience with to try and get something working in time for tomorrow's scrum meeting.

Well fuck that for a game of soldiers.

The management and project manager types don't mind because they get to sit and write the minutes of these wee meetings into Sharepoint and get more money than the engineers actually getting all this shit to work. But it's a shit deal for the engineers themselves.

 

Edited by JoeDavola
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