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Just for fun, what if you won the Euromillions?


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Just as a thought experiment. Let's say you work for an engineering company with about 300 people in it, 99% white, with an HR department full of leftists who send you emails about white privilege and have their gender pronouns in their email signature and give out rainbow lanyards with any passes for onsite events.

Now let's say you win 100 million on the euromillions. So you don't need a job. But instead of quitting you decide you want to have some fun and hoist HR with their own petard. What would you do?

My initial thought would be to self ID as female and demand access to the female toilets and changing room. Go into the womens toilet whenever you see someone from HR enter. Also demand everyone addresses me as 'xir' or something and kick up a fuss every time someone misgenders me.

I'd also start demanding that at least one of the directors needed to be black and start calling the business (and especially HR) racist since out of 300 engineers there are no black people at all. Demand that they immediately address this discrimination (by HR) which they can't do because it's high end engineering research and black people are basically unicorns in this field

Anything else?

 

 

Edited by Boglet
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Personally I would buy a majority shareholding in that engineering company, assuming that it cost only half my winnings which I could afford to lose, but through a Jersey company so that nobody would know and then do all dealings anonymously through a lawyer.

I would then start dismissing the current directors and appoint new and wholly unsuitable ones to whom the executive would need to kow tow every month for their annual bonus and pay rise.

Onto that board I would put the employees with the worst attitudes and the most dubious personal hygiene, anyone recently convicted of vagrancy or being drunk and disorderly in the local magistrates' court, and Paul Flowers.

I would then sympathise with the executive as they complained endlessly about how the company is owned by a madman who is making their lives hell.

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43 minutes ago, Boglet said:

Just as a thought experiment. Let's say you work for an engineering company with about 300 people in it, 99% white, with an HR department full of leftists who send you emails about white privilege and have their gender pronouns in their email signature and give out rainbow lanyards with any passes for onsite events.

Now let's say you win 100 million on the euromillions. So you don't need a job. But instead of quitting you decide you want to have some fun and hoist HR with their own petard. What would you do?

My initial thought would be to self ID as female and demand access to the female toilets and changing room. Go into the womens toilet whenever you see someone from HR enter. Also demand everyone addresses me as 'xir' or something and kick up a fuss every time someone misgenders me.

I'd also start demanding that at least one of the directors needed to be black and start calling the business (and especially HR) racist since out of 300 engineers there are no black people at all. Demand that they immediately address this discrimination (by HR) which they can't do because it's high end engineering research and black people are basically unicorns in this field

Anything else?

 

 

I worked in a chicken factory once where a guy went female. There was a big meeting about it where basically they were looking to sack someone if they said anything. You can imagine how it went down with the idiots there. It didn’t help that he/she basically looked like a man in his 50s with long hair and tits. The bitter, vile, harpies working there went nuts about the toilet situation, I think they ended up providing a separate cubicle. Very odd situation.

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If I won the Euromillions I'd have enough spare cash to be able to waste money on Euromillions tickets.

...

I've said before that If I had stupidly enough cash to muck about I'd set up a Ghost Sanctuary somewhere; buy up an old mansion or farm or something, and then go around the country collecting ghosts and putting them up in the mansion so that they wouldn't be abused by humans.

I recon I could get lottery money to help fund it.

[EU money would be easier to get, but stupid Brexiteers have stopped that dream.  Buggers]

Edited by dgul
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4 minutes ago, dgul said:

I've said before that If I had stupidly enough cash to muck about I'd set up a Ghost Sanctuary somewhere; buy up an old mansion or farm or something, and then go around the country collecting ghosts and putting them up in the mansion so that they wouldn't be abused by humans.

Sounds like a profitable charity...

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18 minutes ago, dgul said:

If I won the Euromillions I'd have enough spare cash to be able to waste money on Euromillions tickets.

...

I've said before that If I had stupidly enough cash to muck about I'd set up a Ghost Sanctuary somewhere; buy up an old mansion or farm or something, and then go around the country collecting ghosts and putting them up in the mansion so that they wouldn't be abused by humans.

I recon I could get lottery money to help fund it.

[EU money would be easier to get, but stupid Brexiteers have stopped that dream.  Buggers]

O m g. I've been toying with an idea for a charity but you have just made me reconsider my inconsiderable plans! 

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Life's too short to even get one up on idiots. I'd simply not turn up the next day. The satisfaction they'd be spending their Monday morning discussing the merits of rainbow lanyards...meanwhile I'd be in Amsterdam with a joint and a smoking hot 25 year keeping me company. 

 

 

 

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I worked with a guy that just never showed up to work one monday morning. We literally never heard from him again. After 6 months the police called us up because his company car had been in the car park of edinburgh airport for the last 6 months.

I got another job, I walked into the site office and he was there! He fucked off after a couple of weeks as well.

Thinking about it, maybe he had mental health issues or just never liked me?

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1 hour ago, Hopeful said:

Toys? I'd buy/charter a yacht capable of high latitude sailing (N and S) and have a crew. I'd also want to sail the Sea of Cortez and reproduce Steinbeck's journey. I'd buy/rent a nice overland camper for day to day.

 

 

1 hour ago, Libspero said:

I’d buy bitcoin..  saving just enough left over to take out a hit contract on @deathfunk when it subsequently tanks through the floor and I end up penniless having to grovel and apologise to everyone except the cleaners  :D

First id buy a big yacht. Then employ a crew to sail me around the world (mostly sunny places). After id got up to speed and could sail my own, id fire the crew.

After id bought the yacht id put the rest in bitcoin on the next crash. Then in a few years, after id found somewhere suitable,  id buy 'Dosbods island' somewhere in South East Asia (probably) xD

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Put my work laptop in the bin. Any letters from work also in the bin unread. They'd talk for years about "that guy who just vanished."

Edited by Funn3r
I thought I was being original here but then just saw Great Guy's post!
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13 minutes ago, Libspero said:

We had a guy who did that..  they kept paying him for about 6 months before they finally took him off the pay roll O.o

I did that with my last job kind of, got off a flight from the USA one monday morning drove to site, resigned and never went back. Used to get calls from HR for the 6 months of the notice period.

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Well, I'd certainly quit my job but I would probably still work my 1 month's notice. I couldn't come up with anything as crafty as @Boglet 's ideas to upset the lefties but I'd be pretty much speaking my mind about a few things.

Pretty standard stuff really. I'd employ the services of a Financial Advisor who I hope will invest some millions into the best investment vehicles to generate an income. Hopefully s/he wont fuck off to the Bahamas before investing it.

With the rest I'd buy an art deco house, have a row of garages built in the capacious front garden/driveway and then I'll start a classic car collection. This won't surprise many on here! xD And a long holiday to Thailand. That's actually on the cards anyway.

I might buy a load of ex-council houses, sublet them to my local authority and be a landlord. The returns might not be as great but iirc the council even pays the rent during voids and pay for repairs.

I'd make sure that the one sister I still get on with OK was financially settled in a property of her choosing. Hopefully she won't spend it as quickly as her divorce settlement money. 9_9

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