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Dosbods profanisaurus


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Slow day at work today so me and my mate were texting each other trying to make up profanisaurus entries. It's harder than it sounds, but knowing we have some witty folk on DOSBODS I thought we might be able to come up with some. 

I managed a couple. 

Greasy strangler: an unkempt sweaty starfish that has dried to a patina, often found on the larger lady. Usage: Sharon took me round the back of the pub and offered me a stroll up Cadbury boulevard, but when she spread her cheeks her balloon knot was a proper greasy strangler. 

Nagasaki caress: a well baked loaf violently expelled into the bowl. The ensuing explosion on the water is violent enough to cause a splash that reaches up to kiss the chocolate starfish. 

Edited by Roger_Mellie
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10 minutes ago, wherebee said:

Any attempts for a DOSBODS profanisarus would be a waste of time when VIZ has done such excellent work for 25+years on the subject.

I've given profanisaruses to many an american friend on order to broaden their use of the english language.

I don't think it's 25+ years, if memory serves me correctly the first profanisaurus was published in 1999, maybe back end of 1998. 

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1 minute ago, wherebee said:

"Pedanarsehole" - 

 

someone who corrects a meaningless claim on an internetforum

I knew you could do it. 

Spygirl: n. Meaningless inaccurate claim made on the internet. Usage: Steve just posted a Spygirl that 80% of all cabbage farmers in the UK are supported by bennies dished out by Brown and Blair. 

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Buenos Fairies euph.  Argentinian military conscripts - who were also skilled exponents of either the pink oboe, the fleshy flugelhorn, or the trouser trombone - that surrendered without a fight to the 100% heterosexual British forces during the 1982 Falkland's War.

 

XYY

Edited by The XYY Man
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13 hours ago, Syd Germs said:

A cunt.

Someone from Hartlepool.

Syd Germs  n.  Penicillin resistant bacteria trapped underneath the brim of the bishop's hat of rotund Manc comedian Eddie Large following an uphill gardening session with his unfunny comic partner. As in: "Why do you keep scratching your Bobbie's helmet Eddie...?" "Because I've caught them bastard Syd Germs off that skinny cunt again"...!   

 

XYY

 

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Ranta Claus  n.  Drunken Glaswegian wearing a piss-stained Santa costume shouting unintelligible abuse at revellers in George Square on New Year's Eve. See also: Father Pissedmas.

 

Father Pissedmas  n. Geriatric whisky fuelled shop worker with teeth like a pan of burnt chips hired to frighten young children over the festive period.

 

(c) XY2020.

 

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2 minutes ago, MrPin said:

I can't think about rude euphemisms, as I am too holy.

Mr Pin  n.  Early onset Alzheimer's, cider-addled, wurzle glove-puppet cunt with a penchant for the golden rivet - and pretending that he has been in the Navy. Regularly seen walking round Corby town centre offering folk sea trips to the Hairylea Triangle.

 

(c) XY2020

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4 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

Mr Pin  n.  Early onset Alzheimer's, cider-addled, wurzle glove-puppet cunt with a penchant for the golden rivet - and pretending that he has been in the Navy. Regularly seen walking round Corby town centre offering folk sea trips to the Hairylea Triangle.

 

(c) XY2020

I might change my "Sooty" avatar. I am fed uo with the arse fisting jokes.

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8 minutes ago, Gordie Lastchance said:

Flabuoyant: A mouthy, cackling, annoying person who is so fat they would be unsinkable.

I have checked the latest version of the Profanisaurus - from "flabattoir" to "flabwank", and your new definition is not there.

Nice one mate - another DOSBODS original...!

 

XYY

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Just now, The XYY Man said:

I have checked the latest version of the Profanisaurus - from "flabattoir" to "flabwank", and your new definition is not there.

Nice one mate - another DOSBODS original...!

 

XYY

That's awful kind of you, especially as you're more often known for calling someone a cunt than praising them!!! xDxD

Mind you, I've noticed this past wee while that you've expanded your lexicon of disparagement to include the word "poof". :D

Btw, what's a flabwank?????

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17 minutes ago, Gordie Lastchance said:

Btw, what's a flabwank?????

From page 215 of the "War and Piss" edition (2018).

flabwank  n.  An act of personal satisfaction carried out into an area of soft tissue located somewhere on a lettuce dodger's capacious frame, eg. Into a bingo wing, the under-gunt or flabby upper-thigh mass.

 

XYY

Edited by The XYY Man
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