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I need a haircut


Carl Fimble
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The Masked Tulip

Amazon had some hair clippers on sale half price for £14.99 on Sunday. I bet they are all sold out now or doubled in price.

I hear that if you go on the dark net you can find hairdressers offering midnight illegal cuts.

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Ash4781b
4 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

Bet I'm not allowed one though. 

Fucking bollocks, this whole thing. 

I’ll be bald by the date we exit lockdown.

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Curious Pattern

After a year without a professional haircut I am starting to look like Boris himself. If you have badly behaved hair, the self-service option will leave you looking like a scarecrow.

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Just get clippers and buzz it off. I got fed up of paying for my barbers new cars.

I do grade 4 first and then grade 2 on back and sides.

If you don't want a mess do it outside and jump straight in the shower.

It's about 80pc as good for 5pc of the cost.

I can also do it more often and not rely on getting a quiet day. No more waiting in a busy shop.

Where are you going to go to impress people anymore with your barnet anyway?

Edited by 23rdian
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JohnThePessimist
18 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

Bet I'm not allowed one though. 

Fucking bollocks, this whole thing. 

On this forum that counts as boasting...

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2 minutes ago, 23rdian said:

Just get clippers and buzz it off. I got fed up of paying for my barbers new cars.

I do grade 4 first and then grade 2 on back and sides.

If you don't want a mess do it outside and jump straight in the shower.

It's about 80pc as good for 5pc of the cost.

Super zero for me one or two days after my weekly shave with a new Mach3 blade. Blends in perfectly...and I can put the scruffy unblended cunts to shame...

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Democorruptcy
1 minute ago, JohnThePessimist said:

On this forum that counts as boasting...

Musta mor brass tha sense

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I invested in a good set of clippers (£70) and hairdressing scissors (£15) back in March.  Paid for themselves as I would've been 10 months x £10 for haircuts.  

It's surprisingly easy to do a decent job, youtube helped.  As much as I would like to just buzz it off in 5 mins, I don't have the type of head for that so it's a 2 back and sides then scissored on top, just like the old days when barbers cut it.  Hardest part is the back but 2 mirrors helps.

If things get back to normal I'll continue to DIY it and go to the barbers maybe once every 6 months to get it back on track.

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King Penda
49 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

You need one...? Tell me about it. Mine hasn't been chopped since friggin' February...!

It's so long, lank and greasy that I'm being offered food-bank vouchers when I walk past the local Salvation Army temple...!

I was looking out of the bedroom window this morning, and the kids in the street were chanting "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair"...

 

XYY

 

Has bad has mine about 10 years ago

6D6C81EB-4230-41A5-89F1-174101A6A1A0.jpeg

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7 minutes ago, stokiescum said:

Has bad has mine about 10 years ago

6D6C81EB-4230-41A5-89F1-174101A6A1A0.jpeg

You were Keith Raniere all along WTF?

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Fully Detached
1 hour ago, Carl Fimble said:

Bet I'm not allowed one though. 

Fucking bollocks, this whole thing. 

Who needs haircuts when you can buy houses? Leverage up what you would have spent in the barbers and you can probably get a couple of vases with twigs in them. Fucking sorted.

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MrLibertyRedux
10 minutes ago, stokiescum said:

Has bad has mine about 10 years ago

6D6C81EB-4230-41A5-89F1-174101A6A1A0.jpeg

I saw you play at a Hawkwind gig, surely

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Austin Allegro

I haven't had a haircut for ages. The good news is I've saved some money AND have been able to grow a really quite convincing combover. Mind you most of the money I've saved on haircuts has gone on gel to keep it all in place.

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Democorruptcy

£1.99 mini Wahl trimmer, pair of scissors and a hand held mirror to hold in front of you to see the back of your head, while you stand with your back to a larger mirror. Job done. Pay for barbers... pah!

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King Penda
2 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

Only if you want to look like Edmund fucking Blackadder...

 

XYY

If your wearing the Black Russian trust me no one will be looking at your head 

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JoeDavola

What a co-incidence, literally just finished shaving my head after a month or two of growth.

Not a perfect cut, but I'm a funny looking cunt anyway so it's no big loss ;)

And there's nobody about to see a bad haircut anyway, cause lockdown.

I'm never going to the barbers again, clippers all the way. Several of my friends are doing the same.

Edited by JoeDavola
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Democorruptcy
7 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

Only if you want to look like Edmund fucking Blackadder...

 

XYY

I was once in a taverna on Corfu and a kid dropped a soft toy on the floor near the bar. I picked it up, held it at my waist then pushed it up my chest as if it was crawling up, then dragged it back down, a couple of times. The kid was most amused. The Greek taverna owner watching behind the bar told me I looked like Mr Bean (so you could be right!). Later in Corfu town outside a camera shop there was a life-size cut out of Mr Bean.... I couldn't resist having my photo taken with it for my next visit to the taverna. I wonder me and Mr Bean are still on the taverna noticeboard!

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unregistered_guest
10 minutes ago, Democorruptcy said:

I was once in a taverna on Corfu

Now all we need is a "When I was at uni..." haircut horror story for the XYY Man.

But I suspect for most of us it will be, "Didn't bother getting it cut until interviews for jobs started popping up in my final year..."

So, instead, here's the one about the American teenager who decided to grow his hair long as an act of rebellion...

One day, he asked his dad, "Pop, can you lend me the car keys? I need to go into town."

"Not until you get your hair cut," replied his father. "Even Pastor Joe was asking me the other day if you were getting into drugs and listening to rock and roll."

"Now, pop," the son answered, "you know that's not my scene. Next time you see Pastor Joe, tell him I've been thinking about Moses, John the Baptist and Jesus. In all the paintings I've seen of them, they have long hair. So, I'm just trying to be like them. Now, are you going to give me the car keys?"

"You know, son," his father looked him squarely in the eye. "I've been thinking about Moses, John the Baptist and Jesus too. And guess what? They didn't have no car neither! So, until you get your hair cut, you're walking to town. Just like them."

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