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MrPin

evil spreads

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I usually have butter, but am OK with margarine. I bought Satan's spread recently, which was labelled with loads of bogus health benefits. Within two weeks it had all separated into fat and sewage, which would not look out of place in a 40 year old Land Rover transaxle. What was it?

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It turned into this....

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/391853794318?chn=ps&dispItem=1&adgroupid=43106429403&rlsatarget=pla-325869853328&abcId=1128926&adtype=pla&merchantid=101764240&poi=&googleloc=1006641&device=c&campaignid=857233083&crdt=0

Just now, One percent said:

I thought this was a new thread about the evil EU. 

Ah ha. My I am a Master of Innuendo and deceit.

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11 minutes ago, MrPin said:

I usually have butter, but am OK with margarine. I bought Satan's spread recently, which was labelled with loads of bogus health benefits. Within two weeks it had all separated into fat and sewage, which would not look out of place in a 40 year old Land Rover transaxle. What was it?

The problem was you ate it.

Edited by Hopeful

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8 minutes ago, MrPin said:

It looks lovey mr pin.  Best on toast with marmalade. 

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2 minutes ago, Hopeful said:

The problem was you ate it.

You have a point there. I had to throw it away in the end. It was like something from a horror film. I shall not be purchacing that product again, if I can remember what it was.O.o

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32 minutes ago, MrPin said:

I usually have butter, but am OK with margarine. I bought Satan's spread recently, which was labelled with loads of bogus health benefits. Within two weeks it had all separated into fat and sewage, which would not look out of place in a 40 year old Land Rover transaxle. What was it?

I would stick to lard and dripping  Mr Pin

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Just now, Bedrag Justesen said:

Not sure I like this thread.

Some will love it some will hate it.

It's  Marmite.

 

 

 

 

But it's not Haiku

Thank goodness for small mercies

It's five seven five

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19 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

Margarine is evil.

The biggest cons are those fancy "healthy" spreads, and worst of all, so-called "spreadable butter"

500 grams of Lurpak's version of the devil's excrement will cost you £3.25 in ASDA, and yet 500g of proper Lurpak's butter is only £3. And the "spreadable" is only 64% actual butter. What a fucking rip-off..!

Let me explain something. All butter is fucking spreadable.

Keep it on a butter-dish at room temperature. You will not die because it isn't in the fridge.

Our goes in one of the kitchen cupboards, and we probably buy 2x 250g blocks a week. 

Never had one go-off yet. 

But even if it does, sour dairy products might taste minging, but they can do you no harm at all.

Wise-up, and eat butter...

 

XYY

A like is not enough. +100000000

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29 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

Margarine is evil.

The biggest cons are those fancy "healthy" spreads, and worst of all, so-called "spreadable butter"

500 grams of Lurpak's version of the devil's excrement will cost you £3.25 in ASDA, and yet 500g of proper Lurpak's butter is only £3. And the "spreadable" is only 64% actual butter. What a fucking rip-off..!

Let me explain something. All butter is fucking spreadable.

Keep it on a butter-dish at room temperature. You will not die because it isn't in the fridge.

Our goes in one of the kitchen cupboards, and we probably buy 2x 250g blocks a week. 

Never had one go-off yet. 

But even if it does, sour dairy products might taste minging, but they can do you no harm at all.

Wise-up, and eat butter...

 

XYY

You're quite correct, but it you have to train everyone around you not to put it in the fridge. I cannot understand why, because they will all admit it was always left out when they were kids, but still they have a compulsion to fridge it. I have been with my wife 17 years and she still takes every opportunity to put the butterdish in the fridge, all summer long. 

My phone tried to autocorrect butterdish to butterfish. 😳

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3 minutes ago, Hail the Tripod said:

You're quite correct, but it you have to train everyone around you not to put it in the fridge. I cannot understand why, because they will all admit it was always left out when they were kids, but still they have a compulsion to fridge it. I have been with my wife 17 years and she still takes every opportunity to put the butterdish in the fridge, all summer long. 

My phone tried to autocorrect butterdish to butterfish. 😳

Last summer I left the butter out in a butter dish to find the butter dish sitting in a pool of melted butter the next day. Probably safe this year though.

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2 minutes ago, swissy_fit said:

My sister and husband bought some poncey butter conditioner thing because they argued about where the butter should be so much. Did the trick.

Butter conditioner...?

WTF....?

The world of pointless tat reaches impressive new heights...!

Makes coffee machines and George Foreman grills seem so passé....

;)

 

XYY

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10 minutes ago, swissy_fit said:

My sister and husband bought some poncey butter conditioner thing because they argued about where the butter should be so much. Did the trick.

Is it to go on your hair, after washing it?  

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3 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

Butter conditioner...?

WTF....?

The world of pointless tat reaches impressive new heights...!

Makes coffee machines and George Foreman grills seem so passé....

;)

 

XYY

Agreed but apparently was worth it to prevent the arguments. I can't find the damned thing on the web to post a link, don't know where they got it but it must have been something like ponceykitchengear.com

This is my rough tough elder sister who is 5ft nothing but had a big bike and leathers when chicks just didn't do that, she also has a kettle that cost 100 quid(!!! WTF!),  how times have changed!

Edited by swissy_fit

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9 hours ago, MrPin said:

I usually have butter, but am OK with margarine. I bought Satan's spread recently, which was labelled with loads of bogus health benefits. Within two weeks it had all separated into fat and sewage, which would not look out of place in a 40 year old Land Rover transaxle. What was it?

It was poison and fat. Get back on butter, tastier and probably healthier too. Like XXY says, don't keep it in the fridge, its fine, and spreads easily except on the coldest days.

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7 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

It was poison and fat. Get back on butter, tastier and probably healthier too. Like XXY says, don't keep it in the fridge, its fine, and spreads easily except on the coldest days.

On such days, slice about half an inch off the solid block of butter, put it on a small plate, and microwave it on full-power for about 10 seconds. let it stand for another ten. Try it with a knife for "spreadiness".

If it's still too hard, try another five seconds. Repeat with three second bursts until desired softness is acquired.

Timings are critical mind - 40 seconds and you'll have a plate of friggin' ghee...!

;)

 

XYY

 

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8 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

On such days, slice about half an inch off the solid block of butter, put it on a small plate, and microwave it on full-power for about 10 seconds. let it stand for another ten. Try it with a knife for "spreadiness".

If it's still too hard, try another five seconds. Repeat with three second bursts until desired softness is acquired.

Timings are critical mind - 40 seconds and you'll have a plate of friggin' ghee...!

;)

 

XYY

 

Or, for those without microwaves, slice bits of butter and arrange on the toast, lay flat on top of the toaster/under the grill and allow to soften for a wee minute. I love butter.

Check you with your microwave, 20k in the bank, big fancy computer screen, track ball and wig, buying a house and looking all youthful!

Alright for some eh?

Edited by Carl Fimble
adding the house bit

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