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Turned Out Nice Again

Pub banter thread

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^ Re: prices. I know someone who owns a chain of 8 local "gastro style" untied pubs with good reputations and are very popular, they aren't franchised but mortgaged to the hilt, a few of them were bought cash and renovated. The t/o for most of them is over £1m each, so basically ~£8m annual turnover. On that the owner makes around total £300k profit after taxes. That's pretty tight, how many other businesses operate at 4% gross? And these are textbook "how to run a small pub chain" examples...

I don't complain about prices any more.

 

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46 minutes ago, spunko2010 said:

^ Re: prices. I know someone who owns a chain of 8 local "gastro style" untied pubs with good reputations and are very popular, they aren't franchised but mortgaged to the hilt, a few of them were bought cash and renovated. The t/o for most of them is over £1m each, so basically ~£8m annual turnover. On that the owner makes around total £300k profit after taxes. That's pretty tight, how many other businesses operate at 4% gross? And these are textbook "how to run a small pub chain" examples...

I don't complain about prices any more.

 

I dont understand people who turn pubs into eateries.

yes, I know there's drink driving laws and all that but ....

Booze is your highest margin product. A good pub just needs to stack the booze up and just needs a jiggly bossomed young woman to serve it. She can be paid NMW wage and if she does not do what shes told then there are plently of other jiggly bossomed young ladies to take over.

Training/skills outlay - heres the till, heres the pumps.

Capital outlay - the odd paternity test now + then.

Then you get into eateries ....

You need a chef and kitchen crew. If I never have to employ another Chef then I will die a happy man.

And you need a kitchen.

And you need to maintain a pantery.

And it needs to be filled.

And if the weekend is a washout or hot and every one goes to the beach ..... beers OK left in barrells but all that fresh food will go off before next weekend.

And then the Chef has a tantrum/knocks up the waiting staff/drinks too much/dies/get cuaght putting his d1ck into the food.

*UNLESS YOU HAVE A GOOD NUMBER OF CUSTOMERS THAN RUNNING A EATERY IS A HIDING TO NOWHERE*

 

 

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And dont get onto the innumerate who do Guests houses/B+Bs.

Working class dreams used to be cash up your redundo and go and run a pub, or B+B.

Insane. People show no interest,aptitude or numeracy for 40 years then suddenly they are Bill Gates when given a pub/B=B - We'll be millionaire$$$.....

 

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7 minutes ago, spygirl said:

*UNLESS YOU HAVE A GOOD NUMBER OF CUSTOMERS THAN RUNNING A EATERY IS A HIDING TO NOWHERE*

Spot on. A pal runs a restaurant near Waterloo. He has 70 covers. Figures show that a regular customer will go about 6 times a year. 

To fill the place you need 4,246 'regular' customers. (or over 2k couples). 

That is a big ask.

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Guest Houses used to be a very safe option when I were a lad. House prices were much lower, people paid a relatively higher amount.

Several of my friends' parents (seaside town) did it for a very comfortable living, open for six months and usually full and then six months on holiday in Tenerife.

It was a safe if soft option.  I don't think it is these days because of the cost of purchasing the property in the first place.

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10 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

Guest Houses used to be a very safe option when I were a lad. House prices were much lower, people paid a relatively higher amount.

Several of my friends' parents (seaside town) did it for a very comfortable living, open for six months and usually full and then six months on holiday in Tenerife.

It was a safe if soft option.  I don't think it is these days because of the cost of purchasing the property in the first place.

True.

Lower coast of real estate.

Pretty much guarantee that youll be full May->September. And get a cash deposit by Easter.

Cash flow on guest houses + B+B is terrible since aeroplanes to Spain were invented.

Even worse now last minute deals. and the like have encouraged people to decide to go for a long weekend way that Weds.

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2 hours ago, spygirl said:

I dont understand people who turn pubs into eateries.

yes, I know there's drink driving laws and all that but ....

Booze is your highest margin product. A good pub just needs to stack the booze up and just needs a jiggly bossomed young woman to serve it. She can be paid NMW wage and if she does not do what shes told then there are plently of other jiggly bossomed young ladies to take over.

Training/skills outlay - heres the till, heres the pumps.

Capital outlay - the odd paternity test now + then.

Then you get into eateries ....

You need a chef and kitchen crew. If I never have to employ another Chef then I will die a happy man.

And you need a kitchen.

And you need to maintain a pantery.

And it needs to be filled.

And if the weekend is a washout or hot and every one goes to the beach ..... beers OK left in barrells but all that fresh food will go off before next weekend.

And then the Chef has a tantrum/knocks up the waiting staff/drinks too much/dies/get cuaght putting his d1ck into the food.

*UNLESS YOU HAVE A GOOD NUMBER OF CUSTOMERS THAN RUNNING A EATERY IS A HIDING TO NOWHERE*

 

 

Down here in Kent (might be different up north) but 'dry' products (food) has a higher markup / profit margin than 'wet' (drinks). It's about 65% profit on food and 35% on drinks, generally speaking for a freehouse. If you look at the statistics (again, down here - might be different elsewhere) the majority of wet sales are lager or bitter which is quite low markup. Wine and soft drinks are much higher markup.

The holy grail of wet:dry sales in terms of the profit is anything above 1:3 , according to breweries anyway. If the ratio is lower than that then it's probably not sustainable.

http://www.camra.org.uk/documents/10180/0/beer+tax.PNG/c06fd303-7ef5-451e-b416-8d11b2de58b8?t=1452867628354

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7 minutes ago, spunko2010 said:

Down here in Kent (might be different up north) but 'dry' products (food) has a higher markup / profit margin than 'wet' (drinks). It's about 65% profit on food and 35% on drinks, generally speaking for a freehouse. If you look at the statistics (again, down here - might be different elsewhere) the majority of wet sales are lager or bitter which is quite low markup. Wine and soft drinks are much higher markup.

The holy grail of wet:dry sales in terms of the profit is anything above 1:3 , according to breweries anyway. If the ratio is lower than that then it's probably not sustainable.

http://www.camra.org.uk/documents/10180/0/beer+tax.PNG/c06fd303-7ef5-451e-b416-8d11b2de58b8?t=1452867628354

Worth adding that brewery pubs buy their beer from the brewery, at a price set by the brewery.

Likewise many of the PubCo pubs have to buy their beer from the PubCo, at a price set by the PubCo.

Of course, the price will be set at level that favors the brewery/PubCo.

Hence why the holy grail for many landlords is to take over a freehouse - hey presto, margins shoot up.

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59 minutes ago, spunko2010 said:

Down here in Kent (might be different up north) but 'dry' products (food) has a higher markup / profit margin than 'wet' (drinks). It's about 65% profit on food and 35% on drinks, generally speaking for a freehouse. If you look at the statistics (again, down here - might be different elsewhere) the majority of wet sales are lager or bitter which is quite low markup. Wine and soft drinks are much higher markup.

The holy grail of wet:dry sales in terms of the profit is anything above 1:3 , according to breweries anyway. If the ratio is lower than that then it's probably not sustainable.

http://www.camra.org.uk/documents/10180/0/beer+tax.PNG/c06fd303-7ef5-451e-b416-8d11b2de58b8?t=1452867628354

I think thats gross margin.

Again, cost of serving beer is cheap - just put it in a glass.

Cost of serving food - kitchen, food wastage, chef, kichen staff etc ... horrendous.

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6 hours ago, Frank Hovis said:

Guest Houses used to be a very safe option when I were a lad. House prices were much lower, people paid a relatively higher amount.

Several of my friends' parents (seaside town) did it for a very comfortable living, open for six months and usually full and then six months on holiday in Tenerife.

It was a safe if soft option.  I don't think it is these days because of the cost of purchasing the property in the first place.

When I was a kid, my mam would rent out my bedroom in the summer months. A three bed semi.  Hated every minute 

2 hours ago, JFK said:

Eating and drinking out is just too expensive, we just go to Spoons - and it's fine!

I was in an ember inns. Typical pub grub but a main and drink was a tenner a head 

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Just now, One percent said:

When I was a kid, my mam would rent out my bedroom in the summer months. A three bed semi.  Hated every minute 

It was free money for people who didn't want to work. My parents' house had a sink in the workshop because that's where previous owners made their kids sleep in the summer whilst they rented out their rooms.

My then neighbour topped that by renting out her whole house whilst living in her garage.

The modern equivalent is people selling off half of their garden as a building plot; sacrificing their peace and privacy for a few quid.

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Pretty sure most smaller pubs will have two sets of books.

I have run the slide rule over a village pub and certainly looked easy to not make money. Typically a few in the right location do very well and everything else struggling and in decline. Having said that not sure what business is easy money these days most things have had the arse kicked out of them and at a faster rate post widespread internet adoption.

 

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4 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

It was free money for people who didn't want to work. My parents' house had a sink in the workshop because that's where previous owners made their kids sleep in the summer whilst they rented out their rooms.

My then neighbour topped that by renting out her whole house whilst living in her garage.

The modern equivalent is people selling off half of their garden as a building plot; sacrificing their peace and privacy for a few quid.

My parents worked. It was extra cash in the summer months. We all lived in the loft, which wasn't a properly kitted out bedroom 

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9 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

The bird with the accordion in the above video has nice hair. Not sure about the moustache though.

Accordians smash your tits, and then you wish you had a bassoon instead!

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1 hour ago, SNACR said:

Pretty sure most smaller pubs will have two sets of books.

I have run the slide rule over a village pub and certainly looked easy to not make money. Typically a few in the right location do very well and everything else struggling and in decline. Having said that not sure what business is easy money these days most things have had the arse kicked out of them and at a faster rate post widespread internet adoption.

 

A few years ago I worked in a pub.

The landlord and landlady had taken it over when it was absolutely on its arse and just about on the way out. Over a period of about two years they revived it to the point it was rammed most nights and Friday and Saturday were absolutely heaving.

It was during one of these nights I remarked to the landlord that he must be chuffed with the results of their efforts and was astonished at his reply:

"Not really, we're barely breaking even".

The hours and effort that these two had put in was mental, it wasn't the cheapest pub either. 

After another year they binned it and emigrated to New Zealand. Last I heard, the pub was sliding back into decline.

You'd have to be a brave soul to get involved in the pub trade these days. 

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