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Kurt Barlow

Child Development

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Our son is 2 years old . Birthday was last month. He hasn't really started talking yet. We get a lot of babble and an odd word. He is physically very able and strong. He is also quite perceptive. For example this dinner time he made me watch Duggee with him. I said I'm hungry and want to eat my dinner. He then proceeded to break the biscuit he had in half and offer me half of it. He interacts with adults really well - usually the life and soul of the aircraft on his six long haul flights to date.

Anyway yesterday when I picked him up the Nursery Manager raise the issue of him not talking and then raised the issue of Autism....

He is growing up in a multi language household as my wife talks to him in Farsi. I have heard this can delay the onset of speaking.

At 2 years and 2 weeks should I be worrying that a boy hasn't started to speak yet?

 

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

Advance warning - 'Mumsnet post'

Our son is 2 years old . Birthday was last month. He hasn't really started talking yet. We get a lot of babble and an odd word. He is physically very able and strong. He is also quite perceptive. For example this dinner time he made me watch Duggee with him. I said I'm hungry and want to eat my dinner. He then proceeded to break the biscuit he had in half and offer me half of it. He interacts with adults really well - usually the life and soul of the aircraft on his six long haul flights to date.

Anyway yesterday when I picked him up the Nursery Manager raise the issue of him not talking and then raised the issue of Autism....

He is growing up in a multi language household as my wife talks to him in Farsi. I have heard this can delay the onset of speaking.

At 2 years and 2 weeks should I be worrying that a boy hasn't started to speak yet?

 

 

 

These people can fill your head with shite. It sounds to me as if he is a normal (whatever that is) little boy.  He is interacting, so it does not suggest autism (I'm no expert). 

My eldest daughter did not react much to others at play school and would rather go off and do stuff by herself. At 24 she is a lovely person and very articulate. Had a very good job interacting with people all day.  

Not sure where I'm going with this other than don't let the so called experts fill you with fear. Are you worried?  

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Just now, One percent said:

These people can fill your head with shite. It sounds to me as if he is a normal (whatever that is) little boy.  He is interacting, so it does not suggest autism (I'm no expert). 

My eldest daughter did not react much to others at play school and would rather go off and do stuff by herself. At 24 she is a lovely person and very articulate. Had a very good job interacting with people all day.  

Not sure where I'm going with this other than don't let the so called experts fill you with fear. Are you worried?  

Not particularly however I am concerned for my wife's welfare if they raise this.

Her daughter from her first marriage (father took custody in Iran 12 years ago) has recently  been diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

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My son didn't start talking until he was nearly 2 1/2, at 2 was tested for language skills, estimated at year behind.

He was communicating, but not with words.

Learned what "words" were for in one day! Then started talking, not stopped since!

Now late teens, highly articulate, vast vocabulary, can talk anyone into coma!

Was also told he was probably autistic, definitely not, just a boy :Jumping:

I would say don't worry, takes a while to sort out the different languages, but when he does, my will you have fun :D

 

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Sorry to be blunt but your view of 'life and soul' of a long haul flight may well be everyone else's PITA.

 

To be fair, I thought the same of my kids on flights at that age. In hindsight I was probably wrong.

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Just now, Cunning Plan said:

Sorry to be blunt but your view of 'life and soul' of a long haul flight may well be everyone else's PITA.

 

I did say it tongue in cheek. To be fair though he isn't crying but wanting to interact and play . He is a cutie so all the girls love him.

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Just now, Kurt Barlow said:

Not particularly however I am concerned for my wife's welfare if they raise this.

Her daughter from her first marriage (father took custody in Iran 12 years ago) has recently  been diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

I don't know how to advise really, a not very good situation. Perhaps a quiet word with the manager about your concerns for your wife and that you would like to deal with this and help monitor progress alongside the nursery?  

The so called experts don't have a clue imho.  My youngest did badly on her cats tests at 11.  Right through school we were told that she would never amount to anything. They basically wrote her off.  Fast forward, she aced her A levels, an offer from a very good uni and had just waltzed into her first job where there wer 500 other applicants. 

Its not easy, but just have faith if you feel he is ok. 

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1 minute ago, Kurt Barlow said:

Not particularly however I am concerned for my wife's welfare if they raise this.

Her daughter from her first marriage (father took custody in Iran 12 years ago) has recently  been diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

Hmm.

Sorry but you will have to wait for all to become clearer. Children are what they are not what we want, we can influence quite a lot but not all. My daughter speaks and reads 3 languages and did so very early but believe me is no rocket scientist, to put it kindly. So the speech thing? Wait and see.

I suspect all will be well and the anxiety stems from your wife's history with her other child.

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Just now, One percent said:

I don't know how to advise really, a not very good situation. Perhaps a quiet word with the manager about your concerns for your wife and that you would like to deal with this and help monitor progress alongside the nursery?  

The so called experts don't have a clue imho.  My youngest did badly on her cats tests at 11.  Right through school we were told that she would never amount to anything. They basically wrote her off.  Fast forward, she aced her A levels, an offer from a very good uni and had just waltzed into her first job where there wer 500 other applicants. 

Its not easy, but just have faith if you feel he is ok. 

I have already asked them to not mention the Autism word at this stage but limit any discussion with her to developing his verbal communication skills.

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Just now, swissy_fit said:

Hmm.

Sorry but you will have to wait for all to become clearer. Children are what they are not what we want, we can influence quite a lot but not all. My daughter speaks and reads 3 languages and did so very early but believe me is no rocket scientist, to put it kindly. So the speech thing? Wait and see.

I suspect all will be well and the anxiety stems from your wife's history with her other child.

Girls generally develop communication skills much faster than boys.

Contrary to the claims of the PC brigade we aren't born with blank brains. Boys like rough and tumble games and girls develop comms skills more quickly. There is a reason for this.

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I guess all children develop at different speeds. If you kid is happy and healthy I really wouldn't stress too much at this point.

However, if he still isn't talking to you by about age 14, you can either worry or consider yourself very lucky. 

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1 minute ago, Cunning Plan said:

I guess all children develop at different speeds. If you kid is happy and healthy I really wouldn't stress too much at this point.

However, if he still isn't talking to you by about age 14, you can either worry or consider yourself very lucky. 

So far I haven't seen anything to suggest an ASD type problem.

He tip toes a bit but this is quite common in under 3's and looking at his feet I think he is a but flat footed. Need to see a Chiropodist.

His actions are all explainable. He waves at red buses, people and dogs (because he likes them). I take him to the park each evening, when I get back he tells Mrs B a story (in babble). He makes eye contact with most people and is close to me and Mrs B and other close relatives. Iranian inlaws staying at present as Mrs B is on a business trip to the US and he gets on well with them. Otherwise he spends a lot of time defeating my child gates or emptying all the cupboards.

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My gut instinct, as someone who know fuck all about any of this, is that it's early days and there's probably nothing to worry about.

Also, beware the 'experts'. My parents were told that in the unlikely event that I did survive childbirth, that I would be 'educationally subnormal', i.e. a bit thick. They were (arguably) wrong on that one.

If I was in your position, I'd just make sure that I was spending as much time as possible interacting and talking with my son, and let him develop at his own pace.

Edited by JoeDavola

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1 minute ago, Kurt Barlow said:

So far I haven't seen anything to suggest an ASD type problem.

He tip toes a bit but this is quite common in under 3's and looking at his feet I think he is a but flat footed. Need to see a Chiropodist.

His actions are all explainable. He waves at red buses, people and dogs (because he likes them). I take him to the park each evening, when I get back he tells Mrs B a story (in babble). He makes eye contact with most people and is close to me and Mrs B and other close relatives. Iranian inlaws staying at present as Mrs B is on a business trip to the US and he gets on well with them. Otherwise he spends a lot of time defeating my child gates or emptying all the cupboards.

I honestly think you are doing too much benchmarking.

If you head down the path of comparing him to 'expected normality' you will spend too much time worrying and nowhere near enough time simply enjoying.

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19 minutes ago, Lone Lurker said:

My son didn't start talking until he was nearly 2 1/2, at 2 was tested for language skills, estimated at year behind.

He was communicating, but not with words.

Learned what "words" were for in one day! Then started talking, not stopped since!

Now late teens, highly articulate, vast vocabulary, can talk anyone into coma!

Was also told he was probably autistic, definitely not, just a boy :Jumping:

I would say don't worry, takes a while to sort out the different languages, but when he does, my will you have fun :D

 

We get a lot of non verbal communication.

When Jnr wants to go out he gets his shoes and drops them in my lap. Occasionally adds in PARK!

When he is hungry or thirsty we get hand to mouth gestures

When he wet or pooey he starts pulling as his nappy

Tired - he goes to his cot or gets on our bed. At 6.30am today I sat him on the sofa while i made his breakfast. He got up and got into our bed.

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I had a session at the animal table at the special house when I was very small. I don't know what they thought was wrong with me - but I think I was very quiet as a toddler. I probably still am. Until I've had a vodka.

No one believes I am shy.


 

Edited by sarahbell

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4 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

Girls generally develop communication skills much faster than boys.

Contrary to the claims of the PC brigade we aren't born with blank brains. Boys like rough and tumble games and girls develop comms skills more quickly. There is a reason for this.

Yes exactly. He sounds brighter than my lass frankly, and by that age she was already communicating fluently but still can't work logical things out for toffee. Fortunately for her , she's beautiful!

Don't worry! You probably aren't though, I guess it's the missus. Good luck with that...

 

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Just now, Cunning Plan said:

I honestly think you are doing too much benchmarking.

If you head down the path of comparing him to 'expected normality' you will spend too much time worrying and nowhere near enough time simply enjoying.

As One percent said - these people put a lot of shite into your head. I hadn't really thought about this until now. I suppose my concern is amplified by my wifes situation with her daughter which has knocked her for 6. Her daughter was a straight A plus in everything.

Mind she still got an A in Maths A level, one year early while resident in the loony bin.

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2 minutes ago, swissy_fit said:

Yes exactly. He sounds brighter than my lass frankly, and by that age she was already communicating fluently but still can't work logical things out for toffee. Fortunately for her , she's beautiful!

Don't worry! You probably aren't though, I guess it's the missus. Good luck with that...

 

My wife cut the end of one of his dummies to try and start weaning him off of it. He went off - had a rumage under his cot and found an intact dummy that had been dropped down there.

Sneaky b'stard.

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According to my mother, I wasn't talking at that age.

Then I started taking in full sentences at about 3 after I was left alone with one of her friends, who failing to understand what I wanted her to do from the grunts and gestures that would have been understood by my mother, had to be told to "hold my coat!".

If he understands you (and it seems he does) them don't worry too much about it.

My eldest was a bit slower than normal getting around to speaking (though not quite as slow as me) it never bothered me, because I just assumed he was like me. He went from from single word responses, to proper conversation in the blink of an eye, so was clearly absorbing the language, just holding back on speaking it for some reason.

 

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3 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

We get a lot of non verbal communication.

When Jnr wants to go out he gets his shoes and drops them in my lap. Occasionally adds in PARK!

When he is hungry or thirsty we get hand to mouth gestures

When he wet or pooey he starts pulling as his nappy

Tired - he goes to his cot or gets on our bed. At 6.30am today I sat him on the sofa while i made his breakfast. He got up and got into our bed.

Sounds normal to me, he is communicating, words will come and sometimes you will wish they hadn't!

Also had daughter in multi language situation, she talked later and had languages mixed for a while, so sounded more babble than it really was.

Again "authorities" worried, now adult and no problems talking!

Please enjoy your son how he is, I get the idea these "experts" like raising concern in parents to justify their own existence.

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15 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

My gut instinct, as someone who know fuck all about any of this, is that it's early days and there's probably nothing to worry about.

Also, beware the 'experts'. My parents were told that in the unlikely event that I did survive childbirth, that I would be 'educationally subnormal', i.e. a bit thick. They were (arguably) wrong on that one.

If I was in your position, I'd just make sure that I was spending as much time as possible interacting and talking with my son, and let him develop at his own pace.

I take him to nursery and pick up most days and then 1-1.5 hours in the park every evening, Saturdays and Sundays. We talk about everything - the danger of roads, holding my hand, dogs, ducks and geese on the river, the playground, trees, stones (which he seems to like collecting), double decker buses etc etc etc.

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7 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

I take him to nursery and pick up most days and then 1-1.5 hours in the park every evening, Saturdays and Sundays. We talk about everything - the danger of roads, holding my hand, dogs, ducks and geese on the river, the playground, trees, stones (which he seems to like collecting), double decker buses etc etc etc.

Well then you're doing a fantastic job!

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18 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

As One percent said - these people put a lot of shite into your head. I hadn't really thought about this until now. I suppose my concern is amplified by my wifes situation with her daughter which has knocked her for 6. Her daughter was a straight A plus in everything.

Mind she still got an A in Maths A level, one year early while resident in the loony bin.

It's amazing how much bullshit milestone stuff there is. My daughter will be one in a couple of weeks. She isn't very good with words yet. She makes a noise like a race car when she wants boob and has recently developed a bit of separation anxiety when my wife leaves the room. 

She's just about mastered walking well now, and you just tell yourself that she is concentrating on physical traits rather tham comms.  Can drink from a cup and turn pages of a book but doesn't wave. 

Seems to love In the Night Garden (which I had never watched until it was mentioned on this site). 

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