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What tools would you need to survive?


humdrum
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humdrum

I love end of the world movies, particularly when it is the cosy English disaster where all smelly poor people are wiped out and the story line is about decent middle class types rebuilding civilisation in Wiltshire.

That said, I am a smelly poor person myself and it is pretty obvious that we would be the ones doing the rebuilding. I have a lot of decent, middle class friends and it is a racing certainty that the last practical thing most of them did was to pick up their degrees in grievance studies and blag their way into a job in the BBC. Which is why in the movies they all seem to end up living communally in country houses which never seem to need repair. And with farms where they never really mention what is being grown (yeah, I know, The Death of Grass, but that was about the only one) and the crops take care of themselves. Ok, there was that episode of the Survivors (1975 version) where Greg planted winter wheat in the spring and the stock, angry for Christ knows what reason kid pulled him up over it and instead of saying Hey sunshine, meet Mr Bunch of Fives, chucked wryly, but so far that is only two.

Anyway, the first thing I would get would be a saw, because sooner or later everything breaks and you end up having to saw something. Not a modern saw but an old fashioned one that does not need a diamond tipped file to sharpen. And just to be on the safe side, a couple of bricks to sharpen knives on. It does seem a bit over cautious but most of them may have been vapourised by the plague that wiped out the rest of humanity. And a cider press and supply of Champagne yeast to some home brew. And some tobacco seed. My home brew tastes like cat's piss and my home grown tobacco was even worse, but most won't folk won't even get that far, so I will have something to trade.

And I will plant spuds, parsnips and leeks, which will make me a dreary bastard with a crap diet, but at least I will have something to eat all year and won't get scurvy.

How about you guys?

 

Edited by humdrum
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nirvana

I keep popping around to see my hippy mates and wonder at the supply of veg they are growing.....for me??

Also good to have neighbours with fruit trees......which reminds me, need to go on another stealth run :ph34r:

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Bobthebuilder
36 minutes ago, humdrum said:

And I will plant spuds, parsnips and leeks, which will make me a dreary bastard with a crap diet, but at least I will have something to eat all year and won't get scurvy.

I keep saying it, but all your teeth and hair will fall out.

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humdrum
20 minutes ago, Bobthebuilder said:

I keep saying it, but all your teeth and hair will fall out.

I forgot to mention, but I have hardly any teeth or hair.

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Transistor Man

I always had a basic plan: I’d head to the coast where I grew up.

Fishing and coastal foraging, that’d be me. 

I’d want my beachcaster, and spinning rod. 

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In the end-of-world scenario there'll be no shortage of tools.  Find a shed and break in* and you'll have a whole new pile of tools.

What'll be required is the skills to use them.

* And that's why the most important tool would be a jemmy.

 

Edited by dgul
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Tobacco needs some expertise in the curing or it's a terrible smoke. If you did have that art, others would want smokeable tobacco, it has trade value.

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Libspero
4 hours ago, humdrum said:

How about you guys?

No plan survives first contact with the enemy.

I’m planning on winging it..

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I'd have done well at the lower levels of the Soviet Union. Can refix handles to saucepans etc. With a bit of 'retraining', I could decide who gets allocated an apartment or a car. Or who fucks me next.

I will survive...

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Basic tools.

A hammer,  a standard  claw hammer probably the best bet, the does end you can hammer nails, be a metals into shape,  generally knock things about. Add something like a 1 inch chisel you can still use the claw hammer to shape stone, make cutouts in stone pry / wedge / force stuff apart. The claw part of the hammer has all sorts of uses too -wedging and setting timber, removing nails, prying.

Water pump pliers - a pair of these can hold a fairly substantial piece of round pipe right down to small nuts, one of these and a standard adjustable plier make a very flexible tools set for most situations involving nuts, collars.

A small/medium sized vice. A third hand is always useful.

Ratcheting screwdriver set.

Add a few consumables like duct table, zip ties, cordage it is amazing what such a small set of tools like this can do. It won't be quick or the most efficient but will do stuff fingers and lumps rock won't do no matter how much you try.

 

 

 

 

 

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You can make almost anything out of metal with a file.

You can make almost anything out of wood with a chisel.

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humdrum
40 minutes ago, jm51 said:

You can make almost anything out of metal with a file.

You can make almost anything out of wood with a chisel.

 

23 hours ago, onlyme said:

Basic tools.

A hammer,  a standard  claw hammer probably the best bet, the does end you can hammer nails, be a metals into shape,  generally knock things about. Add something like a 1 inch chisel you can still use the claw hammer to shape stone, make cutouts in stone pry / wedge / force stuff apart. The claw part of the hammer has all sorts of uses too -wedging and setting timber, removing nails, prying.

Water pump pliers - a pair of these can hold a fairly substantial piece of round pipe right down to small nuts, one of these and a standard adjustable plier make a very flexible tools set for most situations involving nuts, collars.

A small/medium sized vice. A third hand is always useful.

Ratcheting screwdriver set.

Add a few consumables like duct table, zip ties, cordage it is amazing what such a small set of tools like this can do. It won't be quick or the most efficient but will do stuff fingers and lumps rock won't do no matter how much you try.

 

 

 

 

 

Sounds good. You could go quite a way with that stuff. One rider would be to not rely too much on the cable ties. After a couple of years in the sun they biodegrade. String, on the other hand, seems to last forever.

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2 minutes ago, humdrum said:

 

Sounds good. You could go quite a way with that stuff. One rider would be to not rely too much on the cable ties. After a couple of years in the sun they biodegrade. String, on the other hand, seems to last forever.

Yes, more of a running repair/emergency toolkit than anything else.  

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1 hour ago, jm51 said:

You can make almost anything out of metal with a file.

You can make almost anything out of wood with a chisel.

In a machine shop with a lathe (presumably with milling attachment of sorts) you can make pretty much any other machine (of a size limited by the lathe).

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humdrum

One problem would be information, most of which is on computers. I dare say a few spotty arsed teens could be bribed into getting them up and running, but until then I will be well stuck.

Still, there is always The Readers Digest Book of how to do most everything. And maybe I could root out my schoolboy edition of Nelkon and Parker's A Level Physics in case I want to build an atom bomb.

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There's been a few guys that try to mix the stone age with the internet. Use the net for info, then try to make fire the stone age way. That done, try producing bronze etc.

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Rare Bear
9 hours ago, humdrum said:

One problem would be information, most of which is on computers. I dare say a few spotty arsed teens could be bribed into getting them up and running, but until then I will be well stuck.

Still, there is always The Readers Digest Book of how to do most everything. And maybe I could root out my schoolboy edition of Nelkon and Parker's A Level Physics in case I want to build an atom bomb.

You had Nelkon and Parker's too? Small world.

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SpectrumFX
3 hours ago, jamanda said:

All the above.  Lots of "how to" books.

And a tin opener for when all else fails.

I've got a fairly extensive swiss army knife collection, so I should be ok for tin openers.

The current Soldier knife would be useful to have on you in a shit hit the fan scenario.

https://www.victorinox.com/uk/en/Products/Swiss-Army-Knives/Large-Pocket-Knives/Swiss-Soldier's-Knife-08/p/0.8461.MWCH

Although I still prefer the old soldier. Still available in its civilian version the Pioneer. And probably more useful generally as you can actually carry it around without getting arrested.

https://www.victorinox.com/uk/en/Products/Swiss-Army-Knives/Medium-Pocket-Knives/Pioneer-Alox/p/0.8201.26

 

Edited by SpectrumFX
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Sadly I fear that my inexperience with and complete inability to use any of these tools would consign me to certain death anyway.

But Robinson Crusoe learned how to make and use tools, even monkeys can do it, so there's hope.

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Carl Fimble
27 minutes ago, SpectrumFX said:

I've got a fairly extensive swiss army knife collection, so I should be ok for tin openers.

The current Soldier knife would be useful to have on you in a shit hit the fan scenario.

https://www.victorinox.com/uk/en/Products/Swiss-Army-Knives/Large-Pocket-Knives/Swiss-Soldier's-Knife-08/p/0.8461.MWCH

Although I still prefer the old soldier. Still available in its civilian version the Pioneer. And probably more useful generally as you can actually carry it around without getting arrested.

https://www.victorinox.com/uk/en/Products/Swiss-Army-Knives/Medium-Pocket-Knives/Pioneer-Alox/p/0.8201.26

 

I used to have one of those silver ones, in that second link. No idea what happened to it.

Recently got given a Mauser knife, did a bit of reading and it's actually (more or less just) a Victorinox knife, it's got two blades as well as a saw, sharp point thing, can opener/screwdriver and a cork screw. Here it is :

https://www.smartknives.com/Victorinox-Garden-Knives/Mauser.htm

 

 

 

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SpectrumFX
23 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

I used to have one of those silver ones, in that second link. No idea what happened to it.

Recently got given a Mauser knife, did a bit of reading and it's actually (more or less just) a Victorinox knife, it's got two blades as well as a saw, sharp point thing, can opener/screwdriver and a cork screw. Here it is :

https://www.smartknives.com/Victorinox-Garden-Knives/Mauser.htm

 

 

 

How long is the blade on it?

It looks like it would be over 3 inches, which is a shame as its a nice looking knife and that would put it out of the "pocket knife" category that lets you carry it around without getting your collar felt.

 

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Carl Fimble
2 minutes ago, SpectrumFX said:

How long is the blade on it?

It looks like it would be over 3 inches, which is a shame as its a nice looking knife and that would put it out of the "pocket knife" category that lets you carry it around without getting your collar felt.

 

It is, slightly, so even though it's not a locking blade it's still not allowed. I've got an exemption though!

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