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Frank Hovis

If you had been born to money?

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Do you think you would have had a better or worse life?

I have thought about this and would say definitely worse as there have been key times in my life when I have had to put myself through really bad stressful experiences (university finals, all three years of my first job) where if I had had the option I probably would have walked away, and somehow justified it to myself, and other times where the need to earn money has made me get up from the sofa and uproot myself to another part of the country where I have had a really fulfilling time.

Without this requirement to earn money I think I would have just drifted and swapped short term comfort for long term fulfillment.

Another poster, who I won't name but will hopefully contribute, was born to money and his life has been very similar to how I would have imagined mine panning out.

That said I'd happily win the lottery now!

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There are a few things I'd change about my upbringing, but more money isn't one of them. Lack of money was a good discipline and as a result I have never been in debt. Now, I would quite like some money to 'not worry'.

Edited by Hopeful

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I think work is a great learning experience, and like you wouldn't have bothered taking it seriously if my hands hadn't been forced by circumstances.

Having said that, most of the benefits - in terms of personal growth - come in the early years. The first 5 years I learned so much. The next 5 a little bit more. The next 10 got a bit tedious and I'm ready to do something else now.

Only 20 more years to go! xD

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My bet for me would have to be dead from substance abuse by the time i was 25 

I stared experimenting when is was very young so did not have the finance available to get into trouble, by the time i had the finances it was a case of been there seen it done it 

Many of my mates who grew up with realy strict parents who left the experimentation until they had escaped the clutches of their parents, fucked themselves up ,quite a few are either dead or still fucked ,early 90`s Leipzig and the rave scene has a lot to answer for

Edited by Long time lurking

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I guess that depends on my fortunes..

Being born to money and then losing it all through misfortune or bad judgement would be heart wrenching,  to know you had everything and lost it leaving nothing for your kids.

Growing up average,  and dying average.. ok.

Growing up wealthy and dying wealthy..   the same with more toys,  but probably having to endure boring dinner parties and feign social etiquette most of your life.

Growing up average and dying wealthy and/or successful..   Best.   The feeling of achievement and appreciating it so much more.

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1 minute ago, SpectrumFX said:

I think work is a great learning experience, and like you wouldn't have bothered taking it seriously if my hands hadn't been forced by circumstances.

Having said that, most of the benefits - in terms of personal growth - come in the early years. The first 5 years I learned so much. The next 5 a little bit more. The next 10 got a bit tedious and I'm ready to do something else now.

Only 20 more years to go! xD

Sums it up nicely!

I have other things I wish to do, I'm neither desperate nor impatient to do them but that's growing.  My retirement range is sometime between April 2019 and April 2022; although I have started looking at big estates in West Devon and if my urge to have one of those 120 acre monsters grows any larger I may be working on o.O

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4 minutes ago, swissy_fit said:

If you have the means you should go for it now Frank. Just MO.

Why do I say this? I forget your age range, but I'm 52, still fit and strong especially by UK standards, but I feel the cold hand of the Reaper lately. Not my time yet, but these are the last few years of real health and strength, I don't count dotage when you're too fucked to do anything which starts for some at 50, hoping for me it will be 65-70. Strength and energy levels change(both physical and mental),  if you don't do things while you can, you may never do them. These thoughts never occurred to me before I was 50.

 

I pretty much agree but another couple of years in a very comfortable job doesn't seem to me unreasonable; it also allows me to get ready for what I want to do.  I am aware that it would be very very easy to slip into working until 70, and it would be perfectly fine to do so, but I think I can do better.  I'm 50 btw.  Though I am very much aware that that's just a number; I know people in their 40s who are physically gone and people in their 60s who are as fit as they were when they were thirty.

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3 minutes ago, SpectrumFX said:

My grandfather retired at 60 after a full and interesting life.

He died at 90 having spent the previous 30 years of retirement basically reading books, and going to the pub.

He'd acted on the radio in his youth, and told me towards the end that one of his biggest regrets was not getting back into acting when he retired. 

He thought that he'd better get on with enjoying himself incase he didn't have long left, but it dragged on a bit longer than he'd expected.

xD

Fair play but he should have gone back into the acting; I do get that vibe off some retired people that they're just kicking their heels but at 60 you are (IMO) still fully capable of a whole new life. 

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Good question. I have witnessed it first hand and honestly believe it is very much down to the parents.

One of the nicest, closest knit families I know happens to include two of the richest under 30 women in the UK.

But it is not for a public forum.

BTW I was born with a Tupperware spoon in my mouth.

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57 minutes ago, Libspero said:

Growing up average,  and dying average.. ok.

Growing up wealthy and dying wealthy..   the same with more toys,  but probably having to endure boring dinner parties and feign social etiquette most of your life.

Growing up average and dying wealthy and/or successful..   Best.   The feeling of achievement and appreciating it so much more.

Speaking for myself if I'd been born wealthy or earned or otherwise come into a large amount of money when before I reached 40 would have meant that I would have been a bigger arse hole than I am now. So in retrospect its probably a good thing that it didn't happen. Although as was said in an earlier post I would welcome the opportunity to find out if having a lot of money would make me happier.

Occasionally I daydream about winning the lottery, a reasonable amount of course £20-£30 million plus :). Then I think what would I do with it. Oh the problems that occur, I might invest it unwisely, get carried away and spend far too much, become worried and not spend enough. Problems indeed.

Then I think should I tell anyone or not, could I keep it a secret or let it slip out. Then could I trust those who knew I was suddenly wealthy , what about the begging letters, what about those who are resentful, what about friends who would keep a distance in case I thought they were on the scrounge.

I guess I'm happier not having these problems.

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I'm poor, have been properly poor in the past, and had money at points. There's something missing from a life of just doing what you want. I'm lazy so need the stick of poverty, if I was rich I would probably do little to test myself. I reckon I have experienced a wider range of things and feel more joy and sadness than I would have had I been born into money.

I'm kinda weird with money though, just generally weird in fact.

 

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As an alternative, I often wonder about the relative merits of being brought up in a recession or boom period.

  • In the recession, learn value of money, but don't have anything...
  • In the boom period, have everything as a child, but don't learn that it can all disappear in an instant...

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45 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

I'm poor, have been properly poor in the past, and had money at points. There's something missing from a life of just doing what you want. I'm lazy so need the stick of poverty, if I was rich I would probably do little to test myself. I reckon I have experienced a wider range of things and feel more joy and sadness than I would have had I been born into money.

I'm kinda weird with money though, just generally weird in fact.

 

Well yes, you do look a little like a pink hairdryer. 

Mind, I look like three barrage balloons teathered to the moors n

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If I’d been born to money, there’s a strong chance I would be doing time for taking a riding crop to a ‘peasant’, or sticking my knob where I shouldn’t. Without a solid grounding I firmly believe that I would be an even less pleasant person than I am now.

It would be nice not to have money worries, but I suspect that I could forget what it’s like to have them pretty quickly. I convince myself each morning that having to get up is a worthwhile price to pay to stay ‘grounded’. Lying to yourself is a bastard.

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16 minutes ago, Horrified Onlooker said:

If I’d been born to money, there’s a strong chance I would be doing time for taking a riding crop to a ‘peasant’, or sticking my knob where I shouldn’t. Without a solid grounding I firmly believe that I would be an even less pleasant person than I am now.

It would be nice not to have money worries, but I suspect that I could forget what it’s like to have them pretty quickly. I convince myself each morning that having to get up is a worthwhile price to pay to stay ‘grounded’. Lying to yourself is a bastard.

That is the thing I don't get. The two people I have known that have made their own 'serious' money still do 12-14 hour days.

I would have stopped.

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I do mourn the loss of delayed gratification, saving up for things and taking careful care of them as they're valued possessions. In general I do buy things willy-nilly now and don't take any great care of them.

I think it's good for kids but I don't think it's a wealth issue particularly and more that times have changed. Smartphones are one of the most prized possessions, for today's youth, and you know you'll be getting a new one in x months, when the contract runs out. I think to a large degree cheap Far East manufacturing has taken the value out of so many things.

There has been a huge levelling though also. In the late eighties there were so many things like luxury cars, mobile phones, foreign holidays that only high-earning company directors etc owned. These days versions of all these things are accessible to most workers. Possibly the major differing life experience left to being born into wealth would be a private education.

Beyond this I don't really think about money in the same way as a lot on here, where I think, despite claims to the contrary, they are worried by what other people think of them. I wouldn't say I'm totally immune to what other people might think of me but I do view them all as they're all monkeys I'm observing in some vast social experiment.

Edited by SNACR

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9 hours ago, sleepwello'nights said:

Speaking for myself if I'd been born wealthy or earned or otherwise come into a large amount of money when before I reached 40 would have meant that I would have been a bigger arse hole than I am now. So in retrospect its probably a good thing that it didn't happen. Although as was said in an earlier post I would welcome the opportunity to find out if having a lot of money would make me happier.

Occasionally I daydream about winning the lottery, a reasonable amount of course £20-£30 million plus :). Then I think what would I do with it. Oh the problems that occur, I might invest it unwisely, get carried away and spend far too much, become worried and not spend enough. Problems indeed.

Then I think should I tell anyone or not, could I keep it a secret or let it slip out. Then could I trust those who knew I was suddenly wealthy , what about the begging letters, what about those who are resentful, what about friends who would keep a distance in case I thought they were on the scrounge.

I guess I'm happier not having these problems.

If I won 20--30 million the problem of investing would be the lowest on my worries as I'd just allot myself an income. I could quite easily live on £200-300k pa and would die before it ran out.

I rent, and such is my nature, I'd probably save the first two years 'allotted' income rather than take an 'advance' before I bought a bungalow outright xD

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8 minutes ago, Hopeful said:

If I won 20--30 million the problem of investing would be the lowest on my worries as I'd just allot myself an income. I could quite easily live on £200-300k pa and would die before it ran out.

Yes but what if the bank/savings institution went kaput? Would it be safe hiding it at home. The problems never stop.

Every silver lining is covered by a cloud.

Edited by sleepwello'nights

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10 hours ago, Frank Hovis said:

Fair play but he should have gone back into the acting; I do get that vibe off some retired people that they're just kicking their heels but at 60 you are (IMO) still fully capable of a whole new life. 

He came to the same conclusions, but too late to do much about it.

I suppose the lesson is to get on with things, and not worry that you might run out of time. 

 

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