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spygirl

UK's very own Dignitas hotel chain

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5050039/How-boss-UK-s-WORST-hotel-business-lives-luxury.html

Why are they popular/profitable/still solvent?

Old people, with a mix of illegal immigrant,s both staying there + working there.

The Grand at Scarborough is essential in keeping the numberof OAPS down.

Comes down with norovisrus every few months. The shit and puke seep out of the front door.

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SEO on search sites.

I think the theory is to make it look like a posh hotel that the plebs can afford. Plebs are much less likely to complain so they don't have to comp as many rooms. 

I stayed in one in Nottingham I think. Didn't eat there but the room was cheaper than others for its location (city centre). Booked via trivago or hotels.com and it made the most sense on price (didn't give a shit about reviews just needed a bed).

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I'd not heard of them so presumably they're keeping the old hotels' branding like the hugely impressive Adelphi at Liverpool.

Unless it's for a proper holiday then all I want from a hotel is that it's clean and quiet and ideally does breakfast; I very rarely have an evening meal there.

Though by reading that article they fail on the "clean".

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1 hour ago, Thombleached said:

SEO on search sites.

I think the theory is to make it look like a posh hotel that the plebs can afford. Plebs are much less likely to complain so they don't have to comp as many rooms. 

I stayed in one in Nottingham I think. Didn't eat there but the room was cheaper than others for its location (city centre). Booked via trivago or hotels.com and it made the most sense on price (didn't give a shit about reviews just needed a bed).

To be honest, Britannia picked up loads of Hotels that *were* posh - 80 odd years ago. It mgiht be why they attract OAPS - other than being dirt cheap.

Unfortunately, these hotels are totally unsuitable to modern hotelling -The Grand in Scabby being a case point.

Externally, the building is a massive statement- big dick waving 'Look at my fucking money!'

Inside its a fucking nightmare.

Britania have converted a floor that was to function has staff housing/stores into guest rooms. There are no windows.

If you go a for a cheap room - one with 'No sea view' you risk getting one that has no fucking window and smells of the drains.

 

1 hour ago, Frank Hovis said:

I'd not heard of them so presumably they're keeping the old hotels' branding like the hugely impressive Adelphi at Liverpool.

Unless it's for a proper holiday then all I want from a hotel is that it's clean and quiet and ideally does breakfast; I very rarely have an evening meal there.

Though by reading that article they fail on the "clean".

I think the business model, as far as they have one, is to buy large, old hotels from receivers, fit them out as cheaply as possible then just let them fall down whilst putting OAPS in.

The business model is fucked with the rise in minimum wage and the reverse of the EEers.

 

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3 minutes ago, spygirl said:

To be honest, Britannia picked up loads of Hotels that *were* posh - 80 odd years ago. It mgiht be why they attract OAPS - other than being dirt cheap.

Unfortunately, these hotels are totally unsuitable to modern hotelling -The Grand in Scabby being a case point.

Externally, the building is a massive statement- big dick waving 'Look at my fucking money!'

Inside its a fucking nightmare.

Britania have converted a floor that was to function has staff housing/stores into guest rooms. There are no windows.

If you go a for a cheap room - one with 'No sea view' you risk getting one that has no fucking window and smells of the drains.

 

I think the business model, as far as they have one, is to buy large, old hotels from receivers, fit them out as cheaply as possible then just let them fall down whilst putting OAPS in.

The business model is fucked with the rise in minimum wage and the reverse of the EEers.

 

Wasn't the grand owned by butlins at one point?

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Loads like that in Blackpool. My personal favourite is The Norbreck Castle hotel, or, as I like to call it - Fort Shite.

The pictures don't do it's full naffery justice, it really has to be seen to be beleived. The TripAdvisor reviews make some entertaining reading too. My sympathy on that front is very limited, book a place like this and you just cannot be expecting anything half decent.

 

norbreck-castle-hotel-a-grand-entertainment-hotel-blackpool_280120151623378182.jpg

Edited by Sgt Hartman

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8 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Loads like that in Blackpool. My personal favourite is The Norbreck Castle hotel, or, as I like to call it - Fort Shite.

The pictures don't it's full naffery justice, it really has to be seen to be beleived. The TripAdvisor reviews make some entertaining reading too. My sympathy on that front is very limited, book a place like this and you just cannot be expecting anything half decent.

 

norbreck-castle-hotel-a-grand-entertainment-hotel-blackpool_280120151623378182.jpg

You have to be careful with uk seaside holiday lets, hotels and bandb.

Some are uber clean. Some are fucking rat ibfested shitholes.

I look up some places on tripadvisor. Theres a lot of 'We arrived on friday at 5pm, we went home at 5.01pm.'

Spys tip - Never ever ever stay at a dog friendly place.

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6 minutes ago, spygirl said:

You have to be careful with uk seaside holiday lets, hotels and bandb.

Some are uber clean. Some are fucking rat ibfested shitholes.

I look up some places on tripadvisor. Theres a lot of 'We arrived on friday at 5pm, we went home at 5.01pm.'

Spys tip - Never ever ever stay at a dog friendly place.

Most places in Blackpool are dead in the winter so are handed to the DSS who fill them with their own special type of tenant over the quiet months. A lot of them go from crack-den to vague b&b in about four hours come March. 

Their deep clean of the rooms before re-opening usually lasts until the packet of wet wipes runs out.

I'd never remotely entertain staying anywhere marketed as dog-friendly. The last restaurant I ate in that had this classification was like eating in a farmyard, it was friggin' revolting. They have their target market and it certainly isn't me.

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1 hour ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Loads like that in Blackpool. My personal favourite is The Norbreck Castle hotel, or, as I like to call it - Fort Shite.

The pictures don't do it's full naffery justice, it really has to be seen to be beleived. The TripAdvisor reviews make some entertaining reading too. My sympathy on that front is very limited, book a place like this and you just cannot be expecting anything half decent.

 

norbreck-castle-hotel-a-grand-entertainment-hotel-blackpool_280120151623378182.jpg

We used to go to Blackpool a lot when I was a kid as we had relatives in Preston that we stayed with. A number of years back, I decided that BlueCat junior - 6 at the time - might quite like it (Pleasure Beach, Donkey rides etc) and, in any case, he ought to see a little of his heritage as it were. All the relatives being long dead, I had to book us a hotel but, also being aware of places like Fort Shite there, I though let's push the boat out and rent the most expensive room in town. It turned out that the swankiest option was 80 quid a night at the Hilton for a suite! I just checked and it's a bit more now but, even so.... Oh, and it was the grubbiest Hilton I can recall ever staying at. If I had to repeat, I'd stay in Lytham next time.

That place also turns out to be Britannia owned. First review off Trip Advisor:

Quote

**WARNING**
DO NOT STAY IN THIS HELL HOLE
ABSOLUTELY DISGRACEFUL! 
Please just look at the pics we took, then make your own mind up, It needs demolishing.
Britannia Hotels, yet again, have been voted the worst hotel chain in the country, & we understand why
We were even given the wrong rooms, then the key to a room with someones belongings inside. Queue of people at reception with complaints. 
*YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*

 

Edited by TheBlueCat
added tripadvisor bit

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1 hour ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Loads like that in Blackpool. My personal favourite is The Norbreck Castle hotel, or, as I like to call it - Fort Shite.

The pictures don't do it's full naffery justice, it really has to be seen to be beleived. The TripAdvisor reviews make some entertaining reading too. My sympathy on that front is very limited, book a place like this and you just cannot be expecting anything half decent.

 

norbreck-castle-hotel-a-grand-entertainment-hotel-blackpool_280120151623378182.jpg

Think we've been to a radio rally there. It has been smartened up since! 

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21 minutes ago, sarahbell said:

Think we've been to a radio rally there. It has been smartened up since! 

Judging by it's reviews I'm not too sure!

25 minutes ago, TheBlueCat said:

WARNING**
DO NOT STAY IN THIS HELL HOLE
ABSOLUTELY DISGRACEFUL! 
Please just look at the pics we took, then make your own mind up, It needs demolishing.
Britannia Hotels, yet again, have been voted the worst hotel chain in the country, & we understand why
We were even given the wrong rooms, then the key to a room with someones belongings inside. Queue of people at reception with complaints. 
*YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*

My favourite, if slightly mysterious tripadvisor review for Fort Shite began with (to paraphrase):

"Do not stay here if you are black!"

 

WTF?

 

ETA- Just had another look at TripAdvisor. Wow.

 

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22 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Judging by it's reviews I'm not too sure!

My favourite, if slightly mysterious tripadvisor review for Fort Shite began with (to paraphrase):

"Do not stay here if you are black!"

There's a bit of a theme here:

 
Quote

 

Hotel is black, walking along lobby to get to room,dirty sheets & towels lying on the floor,Where to start on hotel room,paid for a premium room,promised a bot of wine on arrival with sea view.

 

 

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I've stayed in the Manchester Airport one probably about 7 years back now. It wasn't crammed with asylum seekers like I believe it is now but seemed to doing all its trade on being near the airport and allowing you to park your car there for the duration of your holiday as part of the booking. It was a shit hole though. We got there, got showered and went straight out. 

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40 minutes ago, assetrichcashpoor said:

I've stayed in the Manchester Airport one probably about 7 years back now. It wasn't crammed with asylum seekers like I believe it is now but seemed to doing all its trade on being near the airport and allowing you to park your car there for the duration of your holiday as part of the booking. It was a shit hole though. We got there, got showered and went straight out. 

A lot of airport hotels tend to sub as holding pens for herds of pissed up hen and stag do's.

Alright if you're part of the stag and not giving a shit (you'd be a prick of course) fucking nightmare for everyone else.

I would imagine that one of Heronimous Bosch's depictions of hell would involve having to work the reception desk of Luton Airport's Travelodge when all of the next mornings flights were to Magaluf.

For eternity.

* shudder *

Edited by Sgt Hartman

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