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Nosler

How many times can someone be a dick before you consider them a dick?

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I struggle to get on with my line manager at work. Sometimes he seems a reasonable guy that is quite likeable, then he is really inconsiderate and I feel he's stabbed me in the back.

some examples of him being a dick are:

Parking in the disabled bay at an office we go to despite there being plenty of normal parking spaces. He's only parked there since he got an Audi.

He had a really squeaky chair that annoyed people in the office. I asked him if he could do something about it, he swapped his chair for a week then went back to the squeaky one.

He was off work for 5 months and I ran our site team (I was recruited to do this). He comes back to work and then a few months later I went to see our team on site and find he was having a "team" meeting with them. 

At what point do you just have to consider someone a dick? It's tiring going through the "he's an ok guy/ no he's a dick" emotional roller coaster.

 

Edited by Nosler

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He's probably not a dick - just not aware of things that annoy you.  It's  also quite hard to build new habits so we tend to forget feedback others have given you.  Keep prompting, reinforcing etc and you'll eventually get the behaviour change. 

 Part of my team's job is to run a helpdesk, and there are some people who never get the idea there's a separate email for that - and still keep emailing me directly.  I keep nudging but I know ultimately they are unlikely to remember. In their eyes, you are the wotsit and so they contact you directly. I mentally roll my eyes, and reply with a reminder (copy and pasted from last time) and give it no further thought. 

On the chair front, simply oil it yourself or swap it out and hide the original one. 

As a manager, I know I am a dick sometimes. Sometimes you pick up on the reaction, and try to fix it. Other times, you think I don't have time for this and leave it. The best thing a manager can do is to act consistently. 

Edited by SCC

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46 minutes ago, Nosler said:

I struggle to get on with my line manager at work. Sometimes he seems a reasonable guy that is quite likeable, then he is really inconsiderate and I feel he's stabbed me in the back.

some examples of him being a dick are:

Parking in the disabled bay at an office we go to despite there being plenty of normal parking spaces. He's only parked there since he got an Audi.

He had a really squeaky chair that annoyed people in the office. I asked him if he could do something about it, he swapped his chair for a week then went back to the squeaky one.

He was off work for 5 months and I ran our site team (I was recruited to do this). He comes back to work and then a few months later I went to see our team on site and find he was having a "team" meeting with them. 

At what point do you just have to consider someone a dick? It's tiring going through the "he's an ok guy/ no he's a dick" emotional roller coaster.

 

Is he disabled?

If not then this alone marks him out as an ocean-going dick of the first order.

 

Edited by Sgt Hartman

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1 hour ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Is he disabled?

If not then this alone marks him out as an ocean-going dick of the first order.

 

Thought the same, the amount of disabled spaces in some places can be annoying but anybody who parks in them is a dick IMO. 

To be fair the other two don't sound too bad. 

In a similar situation, couple of people I work worth are a total pain, every few days I go through an attitude reset, i.e. I mentally say to myself it's my reaction to it and not their behaviour and I need to deal with it differently. Normally takes 10 minutes for them to do something to stick them back in to the dick category.

 

 

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12 minutes ago, gilf said:

Thought the same, the amount of disabled spaces in some places can be annoying but anybody who parks in them is a dick IMO. 

 

The amount of (empty) disabled and child spaces at our local Morrisons is now so generous that the first "normal" spaces are a significant walk away. I wouldn't shop there anyway but when I take my parents, who are both in their late 70's, I always get whinged at for making them walk so far.

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No he's not disabled as far as I know (no blue badge anyway). His son is disabled so I would have thought he would have respected disabled parking more.

His chair was unbelievable squeaky. You couldn't have a conversation with someone when he was squeaking in it. He knew it was squeaky because he joked about it. Then at the same time he complained about someone's computer monitor making a buzzing sound...

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9 minutes ago, Nosler said:

No he's not disabled as far as I know (no blue badge anyway). His son is disabled so I would have thought he would have respected disabled parking more.

His chair was unbelievable squeaky. You couldn't have a conversation with someone when he was squeaking in it. He knew it was squeaky because he joked about it. Then at the same time he complained about someone's computer monitor making a buzzing sound...

Definately file under 'dick'.

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I'd call the first one being a double dick.

Not for having an Audi, they're reasonable cars, but for being one of "those" Audi owners who think their car is more important than anyone else's so will park it anywhere that it gets special protection from other cars: the wider spaces that are mother and child spaces or disabled.

I have never parked in a disabled space or even considering doing so, and from my experience this is the case for 99% of the population so I'm not virtue signalling here.  The only well known exception is our favourite columnist Liz Jones who did a piece saying that she made a point of parking her BMW in disabled spaces and saying what her motivation for doing this was, very odd.

The other two things you cite - not really.  I'd do the team meeting thing - a team I used to manage, just take the opportunity to check that everything's still working okay and they're happy with the new boss (you) plus you can have a social catch up.

The squeaky chair may just be the only one he's really comfortable in, I was sat in a dreadfull chair the other day where the lower back cushion really stuck out.  It was like being put in a stress position.  It's not a trite comment, he may have back problems as a lot of people do.  I had to get one member of staff a £400 highly adjustable chair because of their back problems; I didn't begrudge it as they were in pain and with the new chair they weren't.

 

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Thanks for your views everyone :)

Regarding the chair, his squeaky chair was a bog standard office one. There were similar, non squeaky, ones free.

Regarding the team meetings, he had weekly team meetings with the site team I was meant to be managing. FFS, the first I knew he was having team meetings was when I went to site and found him having a "team" meeting. Before anyone asks when I was running the show things went smoothly and everyone was happy. I have to admit I was absolutely livid when I found out.

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2 hours ago, Frank Hovis said:

The squeaky chair may just be the only one he's really comfortable in, I was sat in a dreadfull chair the other day where the lower back cushion really stuck out.  It was like being put in a stress position.  It's not a trite comment, he may have back problems as a lot of people do.  I had to get one member of staff a £400 highly adjustable chair because of their back problems; I didn't begrudge it as they were in pain and with the new chair they weren't.

 

We have a mixed bag of chairs in our office, the one I have (which currently has one of the wheels missing) is the only one I find in any way comfortable. I have to sit in it for 40 hours a week so think it's relatively important that its comfortable. Although if it did squeek I'd be more than happy to give it a drop of oil or something.

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3 hours ago, eight said:

The amount of (empty) disabled and child spaces at our local Morrisons is now so generous that the first "normal" spaces are a significant walk away. I wouldn't shop there anyway but when I take my parents, who are both in their late 70's, I always get whinged at for making them walk so far.

Park in the child places. You are their child after all.

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1 hour ago, sarahbell said:

Park in the child places. You are their child after all.

Well this grips my shit (probably should go in the inconsequential things that annoy you thread). Went to Aldi at about 8pm the other evening. All the parent and "toddler" spaces were occupied (by people with SUVs. Saw two boomer couples return to their cars as I was struggling to get my child car seat out a normal space without denting the next car).

I think parking attendants in car parks could just do a quick scan of any cars in these spaces without car seats and give them a penalty (although no doubt you'd end up with every car in the country fitting a car seat together with an inflatable passenger for the carpool lane). Anyway, I'm ranting. 

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1 hour ago, The Prick said:

He's a fucking dick I reckon.  Tell him.  To his face.  Tomorrow.

I'm too much of a coward for that. How about I stick his favourite pen up my bum hole instead?

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3 hours ago, The Generation Game said:

Well this grips my shit (probably should go in the inconsequential things that annoy you thread). Went to Aldi at about 8pm the other evening. All the parent and "toddler" spaces were occupied (by people with SUVs. Saw two boomer couples return to their cars as I was struggling to get my child car seat out a normal space without denting the next car).

I think parking attendants in car parks could just do a quick scan of any cars in these spaces without car seats and give them a penalty (although no doubt you'd end up with every car in the country fitting a car seat together with an inflatable passenger for the carpool lane). Anyway, I'm ranting. 

There is a special place in hell for these people. A place where they are forced by a devil with a pitchfork, to try and extricate a baby seat + screaming baby through the gap allowed in a normal parking space without banging the opposite cars door. For every minute taken or banged door, its a prong in the arse. They will do this for fucking eternity.

I'd bend the ear of the SUV people above, it's galactically cuntish behaviour and those spaces are there partially for their benefit too. Mainly so their fucking wanky SUV's don't get doored by hyper three year olds.

Doss bastards. 

 

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30 minutes ago, Nosler said:

I'm too much of a coward for that. How about I stick his favourite pen up my bum hole instead?

He'all respect your honesty.  What's he gonna do?

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Just now, Sgt Hartman said:

Even better, use it to write 'dick' on his favourite folder. While inserted.

Make sure he sees you do it.

Reminds me of my trip to the banana bar 

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5 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Even better, use it to write 'dick' on his favourite folder. While inserted.

Make sure he sees you do it.

I will do. If he starts unzipping his fly I'll stop though.

5 minutes ago, The Prick said:

Reminds me of my trip to the banana bar 

;) 

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