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201p

Men and torch fetishes

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So some men like collecting torches.  I don't but it's like comparing c*ck's I suppose.

Can someone recommend a super powerful torch so I can whip it out, blind everyone because it's brighter than 10x suns, and consumes more power than a Death Star, which will shut everyone up once and for all?

Something like 1 million lumens?

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I resisted this for several years as I was too tight to buy an expensive torch. Then back in early October I went nuts over a 2 - 3 day period and bought a series of LED torches, bike lights and ones for attaching to bags, etc. I now have more than I can possibly use.

But I am not satisfied. I refrained from buying several that went on Amazon daily deals around that time but, going out on my bike in the night, I now find myself blinded by cyclists coming in my direction. Many of these lights are so bright that they physically hurt.

My only rerort it seems is to fight torch with torch and to buy one of these super bright ones also.

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2 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I resisted this for several years as I was too tight to buy an expensive torch. Then back in early October I went nuts over a 2 - 3 day period and bought a series of LED torches, bike lights and ones for attaching to bags, etc. I now have more than I can possibly use.

But I am not satisfied. I refrained from buying several that went on Amazon daily deals around that time but, going out on my bike in the night, I now find myself blinded by cyclists coming in my direction. Many of these lights are so bright that they physically hurt.

My only rerort it seems is to fight torch with torch and to buy one of these super bright ones also.

Deep down there is a childhood attraction to the torch, remember the first one you got and using it under the bedsheets, which ultimately is what this was based on.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433298/

Jamie and the Magic Torch - When Jamie shines his Magic Torch on the floor of his bedroom a hole appears, leading Jamie and Wordsworth the sheepdog to the psychedelic fantasy world of Cuckooland.

Back to the real world there are torches and bike lights, torches are for enthusiasts, bike lights are for people who are not interested in torches and generally too thick to understand that brighter is not safer in town as whoever and whatever you are riding towards can't properly judge speed and distance if they are being dazzled. The same happens in reverse where there is no street lighting as car drivers will stick main beam (or headlight assist) on and will not dip for pedestrians/joggers or cyclists facing them who then can't see where they are walking or where the kerb is.

With bike lights all they have to do is mount them correctly and use the brightness settings appropriately. I use a light set on low most of the time but have a super fuck-off one mounted on my helmet that can be used tactically against anyone offensive coming to other way (also useful for dealing with headlight assist which is obnoxious).

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11 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I resisted this for several years as I was too tight to buy an expensive torch. Then back in early October I went nuts over a 2 - 3 day period and bought a series of LED torches, bike lights and ones for attaching to bags, etc. I now have more than I can possibly use.

But I am not satisfied. I refrained from buying several that went on Amazon daily deals around that time but, going out on my bike in the night, I now find myself blinded by cyclists coming in my direction. Many of these lights are so bright that they physically hurt.

My only rerort it seems is to fight torch with torch and to buy one of these super bright ones also.

I find shouting "Mother of God, I've gone blind!"  as they go by  somewhat cathartic.

xD

 

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6 minutes ago, Chewing Grass said:

With bike lights all they have to do is mount them correctly and use the brightness settings appropriately. I use a light set on low most of the time but have a super fuck-off one mounted on my helmet that can be used tactically against anyone offensive coming to other way (also useful for dealing with headlight assist which is obnoxious).

 

I like this idea.

I lucked out in Aldi back in October. I got a 400 lumens bike light - was £20 originally - marked down for a fiver in a bargain bucket. It scanned through at the till for about £2.60 IIRC. I thought that would be ideal but it now looks - whilst incredibly bright compared to my old bike light from 7dayshop - weedy compared to these 1,000 and 2,000 floodlights that many are using on their bikes.

Edited by The Masked Tulip

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23 minutes ago, 201p said:

So some men like collecting torches.  I don't but it's like comparing c*ck's I suppose.

Can someone recommend a super powerful torch so I can whip it out, blind everyone because it's brighter than 10x suns, and consumes more power than a Death Star, which will shut everyone up once and for all?

Something like 1 million lumens?

This one may be too much for your needs, or not :

 

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1 minute ago, SpectrumFX said:

I find shouting "Mother of God, I've gone blind!"  as they go by  somewhat cathartic.

xD

 

 

I have tried similar but most do not care or do not hear. And they are gone in seconds. Perhaps I need to lay some kind of military check-point. One person as the point man being dazzled who calls back to the unit ready to run out of the darkness and push the fecker off his or her bike.

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17 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I resisted this for several years as I was too tight to buy an expensive torch. Then back in early October I went nuts over a 2 - 3 day period and bought a series of LED torches, bike lights and ones for attaching to bags, etc. I now have more than I can possibly use.

But I am not satisfied. I refrained from buying several that went on Amazon daily deals around that time but, going out on my bike in the night, I now find myself blinded by cyclists coming in my direction. Many of these lights are so bright that they physically hurt.

My only rerort it seems is to fight torch with torch and to buy one of these super bright ones also.

Get one of those heavyweight Maglites.

It is no brighter than other torches but you can always use it to brain the irritating bastards who insist on riding at you with the light on full beam.

 

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4 minutes ago, Chewing Grass said:

Deep down there is a childhood attraction to the torch, remember the first one you got and using it under the bedsheets, which ultimately is what this was based on.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433298/

Jamie and the Magic Torch - When Jamie shines his Magic Torch on the floor of his bedroom a hole appears, leading Jamie and Wordsworth the sheepdog to the psychedelic fantasy world of Cuckooland.

Back to the real world there are torches and bike lights, torches are for enthusiasts, bike lights are for people who are not interested in torches and generally too thick to understand that brighter is not safer in town as whoever and whatever you are riding towards can't properly judge speed and distance if they are being dazzled. The same happens in reverse where there is no street lighting as car drivers will stick main beam (or headlight assist) on and will not dip for pedestrians/joggers or cyclists facing them who then can't see where they are walking or where the kerb is.

With bike lights all they have to do is mount them correctly and use the brightness settings appropriately. I use a light set on low most of the time but have a super fuck-off one mounted on my helmet that can be used tactically against anyone offensive coming to other way (also useful for dealing with headlight assist which is obnoxious).

I grew up in a village with no street lights and where the power went off every time the wind blew more than a gentle breeze. Pretty much everyone carried torches. I never understand people who carry them in towns where there is plenty of lighting.

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2 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

 

I have tried similar but most do not care or do not hear. And they are gone in seconds. Perhaps I need to lay some kind of military check-point. One person as the point man being dazzled who calls back to the unit ready to run out of the darkness and push the fecker off his or her bike.

I make a point of flashing my headlights at them. Got an old friend who has had to stop driving in darkness because of the flashing dazzles.

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5 minutes ago, Chewing Grass said:

Deep down there is a childhood attraction to the torch, remember the first one you got and using it under the bedsheets, which ultimately is what this was based on.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433298/

Jamie and the Magic Torch - When Jamie shines his Magic Torch on the floor of his bedroom a hole appears, leading Jamie and Wordsworth the sheepdog to the psychedelic fantasy world of Cuckooland.

Back to the real world there are torches and bike lights, torches are for enthusiasts, bike lights are for people who are not interested in torches and generally too thick to understand that brighter is not safer in town as whoever and whatever you are riding towards can't properly judge speed and distance if they are being dazzled. The same happens in reverse where there is no street lighting as car drivers will stick main beam (or headlight assist) on and will not dip for pedestrians/joggers or cyclists facing them who then can't see where they are walking or where the kerb is.

With bike lights all they have to do is mount them correctly and use the brightness settings appropriately. I use a light set on low most of the time but have a super fuck-off one mounted on my helmet that can be used tactically against anyone offensive coming to other way (also useful for dealing with headlight assist which is obnoxious).

I am amazed cyclists still go about with no lights. I was out in the car about 4.30pm today and it was pretty dark, didn't see a cyclist at all until they were right in front of me- dark clothes and no lights at all. I shouted "buy fucking lights!" at him through my side window, I just don't get it- you can get a set of bike lights for £5-10 these days.

Also, what's headlight assist? I've never heard of that before, is it something you get on cars which are less than ten years old?

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1 minute ago, The Masked Tulip said:

 

I like this idea.

I lucked out in Aldi back in October. I got a 400 lumens bike light - was £20 originally - marked down for a fiver in a bargain bucket. It scanned through at the till for about £2.60 IIRC. I thought that would be ideal but it now looks - whilst incredibly bright compared to my old bike light from 7dayshop - weedy compared to this 1,000 abd 2,000 floodlights that many are using on their bikes.

Beware the chinese lumen as it is different to the iso standard lumen in the same way that CE marking means Chinese Equipment.

I have tested all the Fenix ones I have bought over the years at work and their output is always slightly understated which is highly commendable of the firm

When riding mine have 4 settings 5/30/70/150, 5 is for riding inoffensively around town, 30 is for unlit roads, 70 for dark lanes with grass verges and 150 is for off-road.

I never annoy anyone coming towards me as I'm sensible unless provoked.

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3 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

I am amazed cyclists still go about with no lights. I was out in the car about 4.30pm today and it was pretty dark, didn't see a cyclist at all until they were right in front of me- dark clothes and no lights at all. I shouted "buy fucking lights!" at him through my side window, I just don't get it- you can get a set of bike lights for £5-10 these days.

Also, what's headlight assist? I've never heard of that before, is it something you get on cars which are less than ten years old?

 

When I was regularly commuting I used to leave Swansea city centre and join a dual carriageway about 5.30 in the morning. There would be some fecker on a bike, dressed completely in black with no lights, cycling on the inside lane. For most of the year he was lost in the darkness. The number of times I almost hit him or saw other vehicles almost hit him.

Worst thing about it - six feet to his left was a perfectly good and safe cycle path.

I cycle daily but tw*ts like that...

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2 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

 

When I was regularly commuting I used to leave Swansea city centre and join a dual carriageway about 5.30 in the morning. There would be some fecker on a bike, dressed completely in black with no lights, cycling on the inside lane. For most of the year he was lost in the darkness. The number of times I almost hit him or saw other vehicles almost hit him.

Worst thing about it - six feet to his left was a perfectly good and safe cycle path.

I cycle daily but tw*ts like that...

That sounds suicidal, what a fucking idiot, unless his aim was to be run over that is...

 

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14 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

Also, what's headlight assist? I've never heard of that before, is it something you get on cars which are less than ten years old?

Headlight tracks the driving line - when turning into a corner the headlights will adjust accordingly. Well that's what I thought it was!

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Light Weapons are nothing new and were originally concieved as a private intitative for the British Army.

http://www.tankmuseum.org/museum-online/vehicles/object-e1949-353

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canal_Defence_Light

This is a 1940s British Matilda Tank that was originally fitted with a Canal Defence Light turret which contained a 13 Million Candle Power Arc Light, that is around 80,000 lumens at a 5 degree beam angle. Take that fritz.

E1949.353_Tank%20Infantry%20MkII%20A12,%

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1 minute ago, onlyme said:

Headlight tracks the driving line - when turning into a corner the headlights will adjust accordingly. Well that's what I thought it was!

Ah, I think the (original) Citroen DS had those? Our car doesn't, by the sounds of things Zim glad it doesn't. You would think they would have it only work over 10MPH so you didn't have it blinding people when parking or whatever. Numpties!

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Just now, onlyme said:

Headlight tracks the driving line - when turning into a corner the headlights will adjust accordingly. Well that's what I thought it was!

Thats the cheap version, the expensive version as fitted to proper upmarket vehicles (not VWs etc) uses a camera and turns the fucking main beam on when it can't see a cars headlights coming towards it (and the reverse) but doesn't bother if you are walking the dog/jogging/riding your bike as you either don't have lights or they are considered by the computer as not bright enough/not a car.

Just reinforces my opinion that rich are cunts when it comes to cars.

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6 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

That sounds suicidal, what a fucking idiot, unless his aim was to be run over that is...

 

We still have the same thing happening on Swansea sea-front.

There is a perfectly good 8 or 9 mile cycle path right around the bay. For virtually all of it's length it runs right beside the main road which is basically a dual carriageway for most of its length. But you still get the idiots on their bikes either holding up traffic or trying to race cars and lorries. Suicide. I am amazed that people are not killed regularly on it.

 

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