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Cunning Plan

Incompatible couples

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I am lucky that Mrs Cunning and I share roughly similar views on Brexit, Trump, the economy and politics. Cunning Jnr is more right wing but I put that down to his youth.

However it seems that nowadays all views have become polarised - there is very little middle ground.

Farrage and O'Brien spring to mind.

Anyone here have a partner with radically opposing views and how do you cope?

 

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19 minutes ago, Cunning Plan said:

I am lucky that Mrs Cunning and I share roughly similar views on Brexit, Trump, the economy and politics. Cunning Jnr is more right wing but I put that down to his youth.

However it seems that nowadays all views have become polarised - there is very little middle ground.

Farrage and O'Brien spring to mind.

Anyone here have a partner with radically opposing views and how do you cope?

 

I have a partner with no opinions, which is probably a nice way to be. How she puts up with me..........

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I think it is hard to spot incompatiable couples because often one partner will just go silent and be submissive to the other. Rather than being themselves and showing how different they are to their partner they will just shut up, put up and be silently miserable. I think there are loads of such couples.

Then 20 or 30 years later they take an axe to their partner's head or smother them with a pillow.

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1 minute ago, 201p said:

I would be Liberal Democrat. Middle ground. Moderate. Centralist.

I do value borders. Business and profits are not a dirty word. I value freedom of speech, the value of government to help the vulnerable and needy, and as a leader in the world for compassion and fairness. I value the government in providing the infrastructure such as the schools and the NHS. I value law and order, and property rights. I value migration that is controlled, and is for the benefit of all. I value the EU as a partner. I value diversity, and gender equality, but it does not have to be a constant "war" between sexes, or about privilege. I value democracy, and the importance of the Royal Family as part of the UK heritage.

I value bridges and walls - they both have a function!

Mrs 201p - Conservative. She doesn't post on here or visit any right leaning forums (as far as I know).

Ok. I'll vote for you. Just a shame there is no party like that we can actually vote for.

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Just now, 201p said:

I would be Liberal Democrat. Middle ground. Moderate. Centralist.

I do value borders. Business and profits are not a dirty word. I value freedom of speech, the value of government to help the vulnerable and needy, and as a leader in the world for compassion and fairness. I value the government in providing the infrastructure such as the schools and the NHS. I value law and order, and property rights. I value migration that is controlled, and is for the benefit of all. I value the EU as a partner. I value diversity, and gender equality, but it does not have to be a constant "war" between sexes, or about privilege. I value democracy, and the importance of the Royal Family as part of the UK heritage.

I value bridges and walls - they both have a function!

Very nicely put. That's basically me although I may be more strongly in favour of Brexit than you. I wish the Liberal Democrats today were either liberal or democratic but, right now, they're neither so I couldn't possibly consider voting for them.

Just now, Cunning Plan said:

Ok. I'll vote for you. Just a shame there is no party like that we can actually vote for.

The Liberal Party c. 1870 is what we need!

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I'm quite interested in politics, (mostly comfortable inside the Dosbods echo chamber except not that arsed either way about immigration and would rather governments stayed out of our lives to the highest possible degree). Wife is much less interested but we broadly share the same views. Younger daughter probably agrees with us and gets quite annoyed with her lecturers simply assuming all students are foaming-at-the-mouth Momentum types but she's much happier leaving it all alone and concentrating on music and vodka. Elder daughter is an out and out SJW. 

Conclusion - we don't discuss politics with our elder daughter.

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1 minute ago, 201p said:

I am not a big fan of Vince Cable though. Ha.

Yes, I never rated him. Strangely enough I liked Nick Clegg until he started on all that remoaner wank. I also thought David Laws was very solid.

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3 minutes ago, 201p said:

I am not a big fan of Vince Cable though. Ha.

He had promise prior to the condem government. He was rather good at pointing out the fecked nature of the economy. He was nobbled rather quickly once in power. 

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Mr Ina was brought up by 2 very decent medical parents who absolutely revered the So-Called BBC.  Especially radio 4.  He is so loyal and trusting he never questions their agenda and thinks I'm a full on conspiraloon if I raise the bias and their twisted view of the world.  I generally keep quiet to avoid rows.  I think parental influence is the key.

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Mrs 201p hates Trump. Supports Brexit.

I am an Omega male, and omegas generally don't like other Omegas (Trump being Omega). I am a Remainer but with Merkel out of power.

And I am sure many Leavers would become Remainers, if Germany wasn't so dominant in Europe.

We accept each others views knowing that we, in isolation are not going to change the greater picture. Many people argue these things as if it will start a chain reaction and change everyone's minds. It won't!

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3 minutes ago, 201p said:

Mrs 201p hates Trump. Supports Brexit.

I am an Omega male, and omegas generally don't like other Omegas (Trump being Omega). I am a Remainer but with Merkel out of power.

And I am sure many Leavers would become Remainers, if Germany wasn't so dominant in Europe.

We accept each others views knowing that we, in isolation are not going to change the greater picture. Many people argue these things as if it will start a chain reaction and change everyone's minds. It won't!

I think I am more a Vauxhall Lotus Carlton type of male.

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32 minutes ago, One percent said:

He had promise prior to the condem government. He was rather good at pointing out the fecked nature of the economy. He was nobbled rather quickly once in power. 

He's always showed promise, that's all he's fekking good at.

He couldn't deliver a newspaper

36 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

I've mentioned before that I was getting on very well with a much younger woman at work so I had a look at her Facebook page: "Help the Refugees" all over it. I cooled that one very quickly.

 

Facebook definitely has its uses.

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2 hours ago, Cunning Plan said:

I am lucky that Mrs Cunning and I share roughly similar views on Brexit, Trump, the economy and politics. Cunning Jnr is more right wing but I put that down to his youth.

However it seems that nowadays all views have become polarised - there is very little middle ground.

Farrage and O'Brien spring to mind.

Anyone here have a partner with radically opposing views and how do you cope?

Nothing to do with politics - Mrs DeepLurker shares roughly the same views as me - but we have radically different views on a pretty fundamental subject: I'd be happiest in a town of around 100k people. She absolutely wants to live in a capital city - either London or Paris.

So how do I cope? I grit my teeth, smile, and play a very, very long game. I convinced her to move out of London and to Bordeaux. I deliberately play up the advantages - e.g. food is good here, so I try to cook a lot of meals from fresh local ingredients - in order to soften her up. And to her surprise, she actually quite likes the place.

Next step in the game is to get her to like smaller places. Step one: holiday plans for this summer are to head down to the SW coast and a mixture of sea, mountain, tapas bars and shopping. To start planting the seed that smaller places are not that awful, actually.

I guess that politics is amenable to a similar process. Pretend to understand what your partner believes in, but drop very slowly little hints of how things could be different.

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26 minutes ago, blobloblob said:

Elder daughter is an out and out SJW. 

My 15yo stepdaughter is now a SJW.

She was chosen by a local " a youth leadership and social change organisation that supports working class young people."

For programs that "use a strengths-based approach to deliver innovative and engaging programmes which inspire young people. Our participants develop the skills and experience necessary to be leaders in their community and to create positive social change. We believe in young people. We listen to them closely after giving them time to think critically and speak authentically. We have honest, often challenging conversations with young people about class, community and our society." BS BS etc etc

Before SD joined this group at age 13 she had fuck all interest in politics or history, she was clueless.

As for leadership ability at age 13 she didn't know how to open a tin of beans, I am not joking!

Basically she takes after her morbidly obese, useless poor me mother who does her 16 hours a week term time only job whilst collecting all the bennies she can.

 

Her sister who is now 10 already wants to set up her own business, hates the thought of paying too much tax and saves every penny she gets in birthday/Christmas monies.

She is also great at cooking (spag bol, cheesecake, macroons, cakes etc from scratch) gymnastics, climbing, martial arts and so on.

 

Its such a shame both were so similar when very young.

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15 minutes ago, JackieO said:

My 15yo stepdaughter is now a SJW.

She was chosen by a local " a youth leadership and social change organisation that supports working class young people."

For programs that "use a strengths-based approach to deliver innovative and engaging programmes which inspire young people. Our participants develop the skills and experience necessary to be leaders in their community and to create positive social change. We believe in young people. We listen to them closely after giving them time to think critically and speak authentically. We have honest, often challenging conversations with young people about class, community and our society." BS BS etc etc

Before SD joined this group at age 13 she had fuck all interest in politics or history, she was clueless.

As for leadership ability at age 13 she didn't know how to open a tin of beans, I am not joking!

Basically she takes after her morbidly obese, useless poor me mother who does her 16 hours a week term time only job whilst collecting all the bennies she can.

 

Her sister who is now 10 already wants to set up her own business, hates the thought of paying too much tax and saves every penny she gets in birthday/Christmas monies.

She is also great at cooking (spag bol, cheesecake, macroons, cakes etc from scratch) gymnastics, climbing, martial arts and so on.

 

Its such a shame both were so similar when very young.

That all sounds quite disturbing - very Common Purpose. Mine just started listening to a gobby friend of a friend at uni, who was standing for SU president. 

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I think luck plays a big part in creating a successful partnership that’s acceptable for both parties. Meeting the right person at the right time, both willing to compromise, both work at creating a decent life together. Such partnerships are good and both parties thrive, create a bond and actually like each other.

Over the years though I’ve observed quite a number of couples who seem to live in misery. Some seem unsuited but rub along together in joint misery with no rows etc. A good proportion of them though settle into what I would label as codependency with frequent rows and condemnation of the partner. Neither of them has the guts to split up and make a better life for themself on their own. I’ve dropped those types out of my life.

I don’t know what makes couples compatible for the long term? A good start and working at what I mentioned in the first paragraph to create a strong bond? Then a shared history and perhaps children strengthen the bond? I’m not so sure that hot sex three times a week is the main component in creating a strong and enduring couple?

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1 hour ago, 201p said:

I do value borders. Business and profits are not a dirty word. I value freedom of speech, the value of government to help the vulnerable and needy, and as a leader in the world for compassion and fairness. I value the government in providing the infrastructure such as the schools and the NHS. I value law and order, and property rights. I value migration that is controlled, and is for the benefit of all. I value the EU as a partner. I value diversity, and gender equality, but it does not have to be a constant "war" between sexes, or about privilege. I value democracy, and the importance of the Royal Family as part of the UK heritage.

Pretty much my opinions as well. My wife the same. She picked up on immigration before I did and was set against our involvement in Iraq. I did think that freeing Iraqi's from a tyrant wasn't a bad objective. I was wrong on that and became far more cynical about global politics and our foreign policy after digesting views and opinions from more knowledgeable posters on these matters on TOS. Subsequent events convinced me that their viewpoints were prescient and accurate.

When we discuss important matters like this, which are my domain, she allows me to have the deciding word. Obviously in return I let her have her way when she deals with the trivia of our lives; where we live, holidays, that sort of minor stuff.

Just read EEs post and I realised I forgot to mention that one of the major reasons we get on so well is that indulge and spoil her, not least because she can have sex on demand. Unfortunately she doesn't demand it anywhere near enough :CryBaby:.

Edited by sleepwello'nights
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My missus agrees with 80% of my views on the world. Helped that she grew up in a part of Africa where whites were actively targetted by Africans......because they were white.

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