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JackieO

Financial abuse of the Elderley

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My daughter was in floods of tears earlier after witnessing her beloved Grandad being told to hand over his credit card to pay for dinner for 5 by 2 of my  siblings.

My dad has dementia FFS

She also told me she has seen money taken before

What can I do?

Anyone here had experience of this?

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No experience but well done for recognising it and looking to do something about it.

And your daughter has excellent standards.

My parents, being aware of such possible problems, have given me power of attorney of which my two siblings are unaware so it won't be happening in my family.

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Did my power of attorney ages ago when I did my will.

Makes things so much simpler, if I go a bit weird (and I did when taking statins), my children can just go to my lawyers and get things sorted.

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3 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

 

And your daughter has excellent standards.

My parents, being aware of such possible problems, have given me power of attorney of which my two siblings are unaware so it won't be happening in my family.

Our daughter is only ten but saw what happened and was so fucking upset.

Frank your parents were very wise.

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3 minutes ago, Byron said:

Did my power of attorney ages ago when I did my will.

Makes things so much simpler, if I go a bit weird (and I did when taking statins), my children can just go to my lawyers and get things sorted.

Thanks Byron.

 

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18 minutes ago, JackieO said:

My daughter was in floods of tears earlier after witnessing her beloved Grandad being told to hand over his credit card to pay for dinner for 5 by 2 of my  siblings.

 

Is there any way your Grandad intended to treat them to dinner.

Been where you are, in hindsight wish I had been much more assertive, but always tried to see both sides, be rational, and to see the good in people, avoiding confrontation wherever possible to save upset.

Maybe that's what I'm doing now.

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My parents gave poa to me and my 2 brothers when my dad was diagnosed with dementia. My mum is ok mentally, but my dad didn't really know what was going on. If your dad is still ok enough to be using credit cards (albeit under duress) then he may still  be ok to give poa. Maybe talk  to a solicitor?

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1 hour ago, JackieO said:

My daughter was in floods of tears earlier after witnessing her beloved Grandad being told to hand over his credit card to pay for dinner for 5 by 2 of my  siblings.

My dad has dementia FFS

She also told me she has seen money taken before

What can I do?

Anyone here had experience of this?

Yes. Which is one of the reasons I haven't spoken to my brother in 25 odd years.

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A close relative groomed and extracted money out of old people. He was extremely good at it and got away with it. 

The bastard died 12 years ago having worked little but projected an image of suffering and giving. If there is a God he should be sent to Hell

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This is a very difficult area especially when it's your siblings involved. You say he has dementia - does he still have capacity though? The Office of the Public Guardian always start with the premise that someone has capacity until it's proven that they don't, and just because he has dementia doesn't mean he is deemed necessarily to have lost his ability to understand what he is doing, this is covered in the Mental Health Act. If he still has capacity you can go down the POA route. If he doesn't you can apply to the Court of Protection for a deputyship order. A deputyship order can take time to be processed (can be 12 months) and will cost you roughly £1000. It also puts more of a burden on you as the deputy as you will need to make an annual report to the Court of Protection regarding how you have managed his affairs.

I would speak to his GP regarding a capacity assessment, if he could pass it then I'd apply for the POA - you can get all the forms from the OPG website - they also have a good customer service helpline - I've spoken to them on a number of occasions and found them very helpful.

If you strongly suspect that your dad has been subject to financial abuse you could involve the police although I appreciate this is difficult with the suspects being family, an alternative is to contact the adult safeguarding unit at your dads local council.

This is a useful link.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/health-wellbeing/relationships-family/protection-from-abuse/

It's a horrible issue made even worse when it is family, hope you can resolve it.

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I’m currently observing from a distance a situation where relatives are in a close caring power of attorney situation.

They’ve researched about “their rights” so are ordering food such as expensive corn fed chicken from Waitrose because they’re “entitled” to be fed whilst caring.Twats!

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3 minutes ago, Economic Exile said:

I’m currently observing from a distance a situation where relatives are in a close caring power of attorney situation.

They’ve researched about “their rights” so are ordering food such as expensive corn fed chicken from Waitrose because they’re “entitled” to be fed whilst caring.Twats!

I"d keep up the observing, if you feel they are pushing the limit on how they are using the donors funds you can report them to the OPG, you can do it online and if they decide to investigate you can be kept anonymous until any criminal changes are brought. 

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7 hours ago, The Masked Tulip said:

Sorry to hear about your dad @JackieO

If he has dementia then POA will not be possible.

How well do you get on with / how close to your siblings are you? Do you trust them?

You can become a deputy though, which gives you pretty much the same rights as POA

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8 hours ago, JackieO said:

My daughter was in floods of tears earlier after witnessing her beloved Grandad being told to hand over his credit card to pay for dinner for 5 by 2 of my  siblings.

My dad has dementia FFS

She also told me she has seen money taken before

What can I do?

Anyone here had experience of this?

Horrible circumstances. I think in a lot of these cases people reason 'well if he had all his faculties then he would have paid for dinner for us all anyway' which is a dangerous road to go down as I have experience in my family of this. Eventually we discovered £1,000's being withdrawn from accounts on a weekly basis. Police were not interested. Eventually I managed to become a deputy which means alll finances are in control now.

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