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One percent

Pepperoni and seagulls equal a very bad day

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This one had me laughing out loud it got this bloke a 17 year ban. xD


The problems began when he decided to cool the meat on the hotel windowsill. 

While the pepperoni had only been at room temperature for a short time, he thought it would be best to make sure it got some refrigeration, he wrote in a widely shared social media post. 

But the fourth floor, front-facing room had no refrigerator. 

Still, it was April, the air was chilly, and his room had a window.

"I lifted one of the sashes and spread the packages of pepperoni out on the table and windowsill. Then, I went for a walk…for about 4 or 5 hours," said Mr Burchill. 

On his return, he found about 40 seagulls - "an entire flock" - in his room. They had been eating the pepperoni, which "does NASTY things to a seagull's digestive system". 

The startled birds "immediately started flying around and crashing into things as they desperately tried to leave the room through the small opening by which they had entered," Mr Burchill said. 

"The result was a tornado of seagull excrement, feathers, pepperoni chunks and fairly large birds whipping around the room. The lamps were falling. The curtains were trashed."

He waded through the birds and opened all the remaining windows. In his "agitated" state, he threw a shoe at one confused bird who tried to fly back into the room. Both shoe and seagull went out the window. 

Finally, only one large seagull, with pepperoni still clasped in its beak, remained. 

"In a moment of clarity, I grabbed a bath-towel and jumped it," he said. Both also went out the window. 

The shoe and the towel-wrapped - but unharmed - seagull landed on visitors arriving for afternoon high tea at the hotel. 

At that moment Mr Burchill realised he had just a few minutes before he had to attend an important business meeting - and only one shoe. 

He recovered his mud-covered shoe from outdoors and washed it, but a hair dryer mishap as he tried to dry it knocked out some of the power in the hotel.


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