• Welcome to DOSBODS

     

    DOSBODS is free of any advertising.

    Ads are annoying, and - increasingly - advertising companies limit free speech online. DOSBODS Forums are completely free to use. Please create a free account to be able to access all the features of the DOSBODS community. It only takes 20 seconds!

     

Sign in to follow this  
Guest

Londonistan

Recommended Posts

Guest

Had to go to London yesterday. Goodness me, what a shithole. Whatever you do, don't have a heart attack on the streets of London - nobody will be able to understand your cry for help. How the hell do people live in that cesspit?

Edited by Tabasco Kid

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

London never sleeps, it just sucks
The life out of me, and the money from my pocket
London always creeps, showbiz hugs
The life out of me, have some dignity honey
Euston, Paddington, train station please
Make the red lights turn green, endlessly
My black cab rolls through the neon disease
Endlessly, endlessly
London never sleeps, it just sucks
The life out of me, show some dignity honey
Sushi bars, wet fish, it just sucks
The life out of me, and the money from my pocket
Euston, Paddington, train station please
Make the red lights turn green, endlessly
My black cab rolls through the neon disease
Endlessly, endlessly

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
2 minutes ago, davidg said:

London never sleeps, it just sucks
The life out of me, and the money from my pocket
London always creeps, showbiz hugs
The life out of me, have some dignity honey
Euston, Paddington, train station please
Make the red lights turn green, endlessly
My black cab rolls through the neon disease
Endlessly, endlessly
London never sleeps, it just sucks
The life out of me, show some dignity honey
Sushi bars, wet fish, it just sucks
The life out of me, and the money from my pocket
Euston, Paddington, train station please
Make the red lights turn green, endlessly
My black cab rolls through the neon disease
Endlessly, endlessly

Lovely words. My own interpretation of your wonderful prose:

"London is a shithole"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I last visited London in about 2012. I recall then how I commented to people after the trip that I literally could not understand what every person that I encountered was saying. It was almost if someone has changed the language whilst I had been away.

I would imagine it's worse now also.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
6 minutes ago, Bkkandrew said:

I last visited London in about 2012. I recall then how I commented to people after the trip that I literally could not understand what every person that I encountered was saying. It was almost if someone has changed the language whilst I had been away.

I would imagine it's worse now also.

Seriously, don't fall ill in the street. You will probably die. My only fear is all those London tossbags end up coming up North.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps we need a sort of,

Londonexit.

i.e. all those who live within the M25 must never leave .

(Anyway, they say that they adore the place so obviously they have some sort of deep seated personality/ego/self confidence problem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Tabasco Kid said:

Seriously, don't fall ill in the street. You will probably die. My only fear is all those London tossbags end up coming up North.

I travel up north from London frequently. Does that count?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

I don't mind London, could never live there though. I've about a two day limit before it starts getting to me; my issue is whatever you decide to do there, ten thousand other people have had the same idea. It's stifling.

As for shitholes, I was up somewhere near Middlesborough a few years back and frankly, I couldn't believe I was in the United Kingdom. The place looked like someone had just called in an air strike. It was grim beyond belief. 

Mrs Hartman and I once went to the Isle of Sheppey "Well it's got 'isle' in the name, it should be lovely!". We arrived in a fogbank and it was like driving through Frank Darabont's 'The Mist' except instead of monsters from the abyss bouncing off your car, it was morbidly obese pissheads and shell suited (yes, genuinely) suedeheaded chavs. It's the only place I've been in the UK where I issued the stern command: "Keep the fucking doors locked and the windows up, I don't want to catch what they've got". 

Couldn't get out of there quick enough.

 

Honourable mentions to Blackpool too, it's an absolute dump.

Excellent and accurate descriptions. They did make me chuckle. 

I'm off just now to walk the hound through Epping forest. It's a five minute walk from my house. Lots of London is an absolute shit hole and it seems to me that tptb are on a mission to make it worse. 

If I manage to get home without being mugged or stabbed, I'll report in.  Meanwhile here is a picture to show that it isn't all bad

IMG_0336.JPG

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I find it all like being trapped in a concentration camp where everyone is well fed. Used to really like it back in the early to mid-nineties never liked it as much in the eighties though really.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah we get it you lads don't like London. Do we really need a thread every time somebody visits :) 

Love the place (should do lived here for a vast majority of my life, an no it's not stockholm syndrome), well aware of it faults. Like Sgt Hartman I've been to some truly terrible and squalid places in the UK.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, gilf said:

Yeah we get it you lads don't like London. Do we really need a thread every time somebody visits :) 

Love the place (should do lived here for a vast majority of my life, an no it's not stockholm syndrome), well aware of it faults. Like Sgt Hartman I've been to some truly terrible and squalid places in the UK.

 

Alright, don't get out of your Boris Bike.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fantastic museums and concert venues. Beautiful parks and walks. Superb examples of every type of architecture. Fantastic food of almost every cuisine known to man. If you can't find something to appreciate on a visit, the fault is with you. 

Terrible place to have to live though. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, Hail the Tripod said:

Fantastic museums and concert venues. Beautiful parks and walks. Superb examples of every type of architecture. Fantastic food of almost every cuisine known to man. If you can't find something to appreciate on a visit, the fault is with you. 

Terrible place to have to live though. 

Bingo. One of the best cities in the world to visit. To live, well, probably not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, SNACR said:

I find it all like being trapped in a concentration camp where everyone is well fed. Used to really like it back in the early to mid-nineties never liked it as much in the eighties though really.

I lived and worked in the City through the 90s and loved it during the week but was bored witless at weekends, it was deserted and you pretty much had the place to yourself.  People find it hard to believe that in Fenchurch Street most pubs closed at six during the week and seven on Fridays and would never open at weekends.

I go back to the City two or three times a year for meetings or seminars; it's still okay but it's so massively crowded these days.  Maybe three or four times the number of workers thronging the streets.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

London is a different country, but it doesn't mean it's a bad one. I go there once a week for work and, of course, it is a massive contrast to rural wales where I live the rest of the time.  I could never live there again on account of the cost, pollution, quality of life and crowds - but it also spoils you for other UK cities and also many towns. There's no point in visiting them in my view (with the possible exception of Liverpool & Edinburgh). I lived in Leeds for a while and everyday I felt I was making a compromise as it had almost none of the benefits of London or a rural location, but many of the downsides. I recently had a couple of hours to kill in Chester due to train problems, and I could not be arsed to leave the station. It's a soulless place fit only for a bit of shopping or getting drunk on race day. That wasn't worth the drag up from the station and negotiating the traffic choked roundabout system. 

I feel that to make most UK cities worth the visit they need to develop something specific to them.  Bradford's hardly the most salubrious of locations - but there are some good places to eat if you like curry and the media museum is excellent.  Manchester is a dive, but their science and technology museum almost rivals London's science museum in my view. 

Edited by SCC

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My dad's side of the family are from South London. They all claim to hate it, and want to move to Kent or Sussex, but never do, even though they could cash in big on their overpriced houses. I can only assume they aren't brave enough to move somewhere new where they don't have 10 family members on the same street.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, SCC said:

London is a different country, but it doesn't mean it's a bad one. I go there once a week for work and, of course, it is a massive contrast to rural wales where I live the rest of the time.  I could never live there again on account of the cost, pollution, quality of life and crowds - but it also spoils you for other UK cities and also many towns. There's no point in visiting them in my view (with the possible exception of Liverpool & Edinburgh). I lived in Leeds for a while and everyday I felt I was making a compromise as it had almost none of the benefits of London or a rural location, but many of the downsides. I recently had a couple of hours to kill in Chester due to train problems, and I could not be arsed to leave the station. It's a soulless place fit only for a bit of shopping or getting drunk on race day. That wasn't worth the drag up from the station and negotiating the traffic choked roundabout system. 

I feel that to make most UK cities worth the visit they need to develop something specific to them.  Bradford's hardly the most salubrious of locations - but there are some good places to eat if you like curry and the media museum is excellent.  Manchester is a dive, but their science and technology museum almost rivals London's science museum in my view. 

diversity means everywhere is meant to be the same.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And another just to show it's not too bad :)

3 minutes ago, spunko2010 said:

It's all fun and games until you come across a pack of Eastern Europeans from the local gimmegrant eurocarwash living in the duck house.

I thought I had managed to keep them out of shot. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry, thought it hadn't appeared first time so posted again.  I really don't like London but it's your forum so no complaints for getting rid of it, I've edited it if you wanna get rid of your quote.

Apologies to any Londoners offended.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.