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Van Lady

Male Suicide

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In general this image IMO depicts a reason for the higher rates of male suicide.....nobody to talk to, put on a brave face.

I live in a small rural town and cause of death is known. Until just over a year ago male suicides were more in younger age groups and usually drug related. In comparison to females there are far more male suicides in all age groups.

However in the last year or so they have been mainly in older age groups. One who was made redundant from a well paid job but the others have been self employed. All hanging apart from one who threw himself off a motorway bridge. 

Distressing. The latest one a few days ago was a painter and decorator who done some painting for me recently. 

The picture says it all. I wouldn't have guessed he was experiencing problems.

 

IMG_0035.JPG

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11 minutes ago, Economic Exile said:

In general this image IMO depicts a reason for the higher rates of male suicide.....nobody to talk to, put on a brave face.

I live in a small rural town and cause of death is known. Until just over a year ago male suicides were more in younger age groups and usually drug related. In comparison to females there are far more male suicides in all age groups.

However in the last year or so they have been mainly in older age groups. One who was made redundant from a well paid job but the others have been self employed. All hanging apart from one who threw himself off a motorway bridge. 

Distressing. The latest one a few days ago was a painter and decorator who done some painting for me recently. 

The picture says it all. I wouldn't have guessed he was experiencing problems.

 

IMG_0035.JPG

In my home town and the environs, there appears to be a high suicide rate.  Again, mostly hanging.  

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2 minutes ago, One percent said:

In my home town and the environs, there appears to be a high suicide rate.  Again, mostly hanging.  

Not sure how Ron went.

Ed hung.

It used to be acidental ODs. But that was maunly people rehoused from up the road.

Very depressing state of affairs,

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2 minutes ago, spygirl said:

Not sure how Ron went.

Ed hung.

It used to be acidental ODs. But that was maunly people rehoused from up the road.

Very depressing state of affairs,

I know personally or have close links to four in the last few years. Practically unheard of when we were in the town.  

As you say very depressing and I wonder what the explanation is.  I've a couple of theories. 

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Just now, One percent said:

I know personally or have close links to four in the last few years. Practically unheard of when we were in the town.  

As you say very depressing and I wonder what the explanation is.  I've a couple of theories. 

I think its that feel of hopelesness.

You get that culture of easter leaver, get a job. Thrn, since 82ish, its been harder and harder to get well paying work.

Offshore has out a lot if work jn the town, but north seas gone now.

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6 minutes ago, spygirl said:

I think its that feel of hopelesness.

You get that culture of easter leaver, get a job. Thrn, since 82ish, its been harder and harder to get well paying work.

Offshore has out a lot if work jn the town, but north seas gone now.

If I spelt that badly, I'd top myself....

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5 minutes ago, spygirl said:

I think its that feel of hopelesness.

You get that culture of easter leaver, get a job. Thrn, since 82ish, its been harder and harder to get well paying work.

Offshore has out a lot if work jn the town, but north seas gone now.

That's one aspect, but as EE said, it's also older people. Those I know of personally, business owner then wifey a few years later.  Farmer.  My mates Hubby. Had a good marriage afaict and own business. I think it's a lot to do with social pressure and keeping up with the joneses. Having to 'perform' in public all the time. 

2 minutes ago, wherebee said:

If I spelt that badly, I'd top myself....

It's his ketbaord xD

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I was driving on Wed in Swansea when a man, late 20's I think, walked out in front of me. Just stood in the road in front of me. If he was looking to commit suicide he chose the wrong person as I was crawling along.

I went to drive around him and he kept moving in front of me. I glared at him and he moved but I had to go onto the other side of the road. I saw that he did the same with several cars behind me. Then did it with some buses coming in the opposite direction. He had a mate, same age group, standing on the pavement watching.

I pulled over to call the police but, as two buses were having the same problem, did not bother as I suspect a driver would have radioed it in.

So I get home to discover that, a few hours later, some guy was found injured about half a mile away having supposedly jumped off about a12 foot wall. It made the local paper. Road closed. Police not revealing much. Anyhow, it crossed my mind whether the two things were related. Someone who wanted to commiit suicide? Or someone wanting some insurance money? Or someone being hard?

There is a point to all this.

Then yesterday a man was sent to jail for 3 years in Swansea because he keeps walking out into the middle of roads, stopping traffic and refusing to move. How bizarre.

Perhaps it is a Swansea thing.

Hardly a week goes by in Swansea without some story of some man being talked down from a bridge or a multi-story car park.

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It seems to be related to feelings of hopelessness and no way out.

Last year the guy who threw himself off a local motorway bridge appeared to have everything going for him. Yes, he'd lost a well paid job but had a wife in well paid employment.....he wouldn't have been destitute. He was 50's and always very good looking in adult life. Cyclist and other community interests plus generally very well liked and popular. 500+ estimated attendance at his funeral.

No word on the street to date why he chose to end his life that way.

In general suicide rates seem to be rising. All very sad.

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1 minute ago, Economic Exile said:

It seems to be related to feelings of hopelessness and no way out.

Last year the guy who threw himself off a local motorway bridge appeared to have everything going for him. Yes, he'd lost a well paid job but had a wife in well paid employment.....he wouldn't have been destitute. He was 50's and always very good looking in adult life. Cyclist and other community interests plus generally very well liked and popular. 500+ estimated attendance at his funeral.

No word on the street to date why he chose to end his life that way.

In general suicide rates seem to be rising. All very sad.

I make a real effort to keep in proper touch with old mates round the world.  We are keeping an eye on one at the moment as his wife is having an affair and he knows - but will not talk about it.  

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I've had suicidal thoughts from time to time - and yes, related to long periods of high stress/lack of outlets or people to talk to. Once quite recently, a suicidal thought simply popped into my head while I was out running and stayed there for a good five minutes or so.  There was nothing to provoke it - and having done a lot of mindfulness meditation over the last year another part of mind basically said "Oh, look a suicidal thought that's a strange thing. I wonder why that's there?" - and then the suicidal thought slowly faded away. 

I think ultimately we need more training on how our minds work and how to deal with them as it's clear to me that they aren't well adapted to life and have some built-in limitations which are at best annoying and at worst downright dangerous. 

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Just now, SCC said:

I've had suicidal thoughts from time to time - and yes, related to long periods of high stress/lack of outlets or people to talk to. Once quite recently, a suicidal thought simply popped into my head while I was out running and stayed there for a good five minutes or so.  There was nothing to provoke it - and having done a lot of mindfulness meditation over the last year another part of mind basically said "Oh, look a suicidal thought that's a strange thing. I wonder why that's there?" - and then the suicidal thought slowly faded away. 

I think ultimately we need more training on how our minds work and how to deal with them as it's clear to me that they aren't well adapted to life and have some built-in limitations which are at best annoying and at worst downright dangerous. 

Sorry to hear that mate.  I've never had a suicidal thought in my life.  

Considered helping others in 'involuntary suicides' many, many, many times.... xD

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2 minutes ago, wherebee said:

I make a real effort to keep in proper touch with old mates round the world.  We are keeping an eye on one at the moment as his wife is having an affair and he knows - but will not talk about it.  

No indication that wifey was playing away. Don't seem to be debt problems either. She seems to have been devastated. She organised a cycle run for mental health funds that was very well attended and raised lots of money. No other man on the scene for her!

Good that you you and your mates try to look out for each other.

I really think males are more reluctant to talk about suicidal feelings compared to females. Also I think males act more on those feelings and are more able to hang themselves, jump off bridges/on railway lines or shoot themselves. Females generally overdose and usually fail. Perhaps a cry for help?

Im upset about the latest guy a few days ago. Wouldn't have guessed he had problems that would lead him to hang himself. Very sad 🙁

 

 

 

 

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14 minutes ago, Economic Exile said:

It seems to be related to feelings of hopelessness and no way out.

Last year the guy who threw himself off a local motorway bridge appeared to have everything going for him. Yes, he'd lost a well paid job but had a wife in well paid employment.....he wouldn't have been destitute. He was 50's and always very good looking in adult life. Cyclist and other community interests plus generally very well liked and popular. 500+ estimated attendance at his funeral.

No word on the street to date why he chose to end his life that way.

In general suicide rates seem to be rising. All very sad.

That chimes with my experience posted upthread EE. As I said there it might be an issue of social standing and how a person thinks they are perceived. It's strange how 99 percent of the time it is men, as you say in the op..  This again chimes with the ones I know of

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2 minutes ago, SCC said:

I've had suicidal thoughts from time to time - and yes, related to long periods of high stress/lack of outlets or people to talk to. Once quite recently, a suicidal thought simply popped into my head while I was out running and stayed there for a good five minutes or so.  There was nothing to provoke it - and having done a lot of mindfulness meditation over the last year another part of mind basically said "Oh, look a suicidal thought that's a strange thing. I wonder why that's there?" - and then the suicidal thought slowly faded away. 

I think ultimately we need more training on how our minds work and how to deal with them as it's clear to me that they aren't well adapted to life and have some built-in limitations which are at best annoying and at worst downright dangerous. 

Always remember this......suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!

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2 minutes ago, SCC said:

I've had suicidal thoughts from time to time - and yes, related to long periods of high stress/lack of outlets or people to talk to. Once quite recently, a suicidal thought simply popped into my head while I was out running and stayed there for a good five minutes or so.  There was nothing to provoke it - and having done a lot of mindfulness meditation over the last year another part of mind basically said "Oh, look a suicidal thought that's a strange thing. I wonder why that's there?" - and then the suicidal thought slowly faded away. 

I think ultimately we need more training on how our minds work and how to deal with them as it's clear to me that they aren't well adapted to life and have some built-in limitations which are at best annoying and at worst downright dangerous. 

 

Sorry to hear this. I can relate to what you are saying. In manyy respects our brains are not designed for the 21st. Century. The subconcious mind, which is more powerful than the concious mind, is still thinking it is 250,000 years ago.

There is virtually no discussion in our society about how men have evolved to act in certain ways which, today, results in all sorts of negative implications for the male if he acts on them.

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2 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

 

Sorry to hear this. I can relate to what you are saying. In manyy respects our brains are not designed for the 21st. Century. The subconcious mind, which is more powerful than the concious mind, is still thinking it is 250,000 years ago.

There is virtually no discussion in our society about how men have evolved to act in certain ways which, today, results in all sorts of negative implications for the male if he acts on them.

Yes, in general our brains are stone aged and can't keep up with the fast pace of 21st century life. IMO this is highly likely to contribute to suicide/suicidal feelings.

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5 minutes ago, Economic Exile said:

Yes, in general our brains are stone aged and can't keep up with the fast pace of 21st century life. IMO this is highly likely to contribute to suicide/suicidal feelings.

I'm not sure I agree EE. The first half yes, that our brains are wired for a different time.  But, it seems to me that there has been a significant rise in suicide in recent years.  This says to me that it is more to do with how we currently organise society. An example is the number of children suffering from mental health issues. Childhood is meant to be a happy time. What the hell is happening that it is not for many!  These children are going to be adults soon, so with even more pressure. I think we will see the rates rise sadly  

Edited by One percent
Fecking crapple again

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Just now, Economic Exile said:

Yes, in general our brains are stone aged and can't keep up with the fast pace of 21st century life. IMO this is highly likely to contribute to suicide/suicidal feelings.

I'm indulging in a spot of therapy this weekend, have set myself the task of recreating the catapult I made in my yoof. Have got the superthick lazzy bands, some leather for the slingy pouch thingy, just need a perfect Y shaped bit of tree branch. My original one used a piece of very young oak tree off the embankment of the M6 so will be keeping my eyes peeled all weekend for something similar.

Will post a photie when its fini-shed.

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Just to say, thank you for your kind thoughts. It's been somewhat eye opening to hear that others don't experience the same as they've been a part of my life since my early teens.  I thought it was normal as I guess it is for me. It's not something that dominates my life - I've experienced them no more than a dozen times and I have a strong will to live. 

The recent running incident really demonstrated as EE suggests, the impermanence and randomness of thoughts - and that we aren't compelled to act upon them. 

Edited by SCC

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1 minute ago, One percent said:

I'm not sure I agree EE. The first have yes, that are brains are wired for a different time.  But, it seems to me that there has been a significant rise in suicide in recent years.  This says to me that it is more to do with how we currently organise society. An example is the number of children suffering from mental health issues. Childhood is meant to be a happy time. What the hell is happening that itbis not for many!  These children are going to be adults soon, so with even more pressure. I think we will see the rates rise sadly  

I agree that suicide rates will rise.

How we organise society is part of the problem. The social perspective. Too much stress put on all from cradle to grave. Scientific management of schooling and work etc. Disastrous IMO....it needs humanised, but will that happen?

The biological perspective is about brains adapting to environment. IMO humans in general can't keep up with up the rapid pace of change.

I'm 59 and the pace of change I've noted over the past 15-20 years is unprecedented in human history. 

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