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lid

Butter

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Don't put it in the fridge.

Ever.

Keep it in a kitchen cupboard on a butter dish.

Don't fret if it melts a bit round the edges during the summer. The middle bit will be fine - and the rest of it will have set again by supper-time.

For best results use salted Lurpak...

 

XYY

 

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Posted (edited)

Seriously it's a joke of a product

As nice as it is I shouldn't have to serenade it to put its wares on my bread, the slag

 

 

Edited by lid
Fuckin butter

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10 minutes ago, lid said:

Seriously it's a joke of a product

As nice as it is I shouldn't have to serenade it to put its wares on my bread, the slag

Mate, butter is the food of the gods - when served at the correct temperature.

You need to move your stat from "bastard freezing" to "softens butter". Instructions on how to do so can be found in your central heating manual,

And in the seemingly unlikely event you are so far North that your nearest neighbour is called Nanook - then warm yer friggin' bread up with one of them new-fangled "toaster" contraptions...!

;)

 

XYY

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I wouldn't buy a car that only started in the summer so I'm still not convinced that it's worth the hassle to be honest 

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3 hours ago, lid said:

I wouldn't buy a car that only started in the summer so I'm still not convinced that it's worth the hassle to be honest 

Some French butter brands (and it’s still 100% butter but churned differently) are softer for people who keep butter in the fridge or who are too tight to turn the heating on. 

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2 hours ago, Hail the Tripod said:

Slice your butter in long thin slices across the top, place onto toast the second it comes out the toaster, wait 20 seconds and then spread.

This.

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2 hours ago, Hail the Tripod said:

Slice your butter in long thin slices across the top, place onto toast the second it comes out the toaster, wait 20 seconds and then spread.

Yip, and of you have two bits of toast put the other bit on top once you have done the above, shouldn't even take 20 seconds if you do that.

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2 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

Yip, and of you have two bits of toast put the other bit on top once you have done the above, shouldn't even take 20 seconds if you do that.

Also.....In the well-known annoying situation of being at a hotel for breakfast and the dullards have put their individually wrapped portions if butter in the fridge overnight, then once you have your toast then quickly slip your butter (with foil still on) underneath your toast for a minute before using. 

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5 minutes ago, Thombleached said:

Also.....In the well-known annoying situation of being at a hotel for breakfast and the dullards have put their individually wrapped portions if butter in the fridge overnight, then once you have your toast then quickly slip your butter (with foil still on) underneath your toast for a minute before using. 

Also works on aircraft. If you don't want to snap your plastic knife trying to spread coloured ice on an flavoured roll, leave the butter on the foil lid of the hot meal thing for 30 seconds or so.

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4 hours ago, Hail the Tripod said:

Slice your butter in long thin slices across the top, place onto toast the second it comes out the toaster, wait 20 seconds and then spread.

Or get ready-sliced butter.

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You should get ICan'tBelieveIt'sNotMargarine, a new spread that's got all of the health benefits of butter, but with the ease of spreading and bland taste of margarine.

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13 minutes ago, dgul said:

You should get ICan'tBelieveIt'sNotMargarine, a new spread that's got all of the health benefits of butter, but with the ease of spreading and bland taste of margarine.

Have you tried Fuck Me! It's Butter!!

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Posted (edited)

I am incapable of spreading butter so have to get my wife to do it, otherwise I end up with a handful of crust and a load of bread wrapped around the butter on the knife.

My initial solution to this was to come up with some incredible invention, like butter in Pritt Stick format and patent it for dollar, but it appears it already exists.

A bit in a bowl and 5 seconds in the microwave is what she does.

Edited by Inoperational Bumblebee

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