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One percent

One way of dealing with Jehovah witnesses selling religion at your door

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5609147/Drunk-woman-downed-lager-attacking-Jehovah-Witnesses.html

A drunk woman who attacked a group of Jehovah Witnesses on her doorstep with a claw hammer after they tried to convert her to Christianity has avoided jail time.

Kerry Mitchell had downed two bottles of vodka and eight cans of strong lager over 24 hours when she lashed out at the three victims who had knocked on her door.

The 44-year-old  from Tunbridge Wells, in Kent, flew into a rage when five Jehovah's Witnesses called at her flat to discuss the Bible.



I had them today and I just said a polite no thanks. o.O

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2 minutes ago, One percent said:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5609147/Drunk-woman-downed-lager-attacking-Jehovah-Witnesses.html

A drunk woman who attacked a group of Jehovah Witnesses on her doorstep with a claw hammer after they tried to convert her to Christianity has avoided jail time.

Kerry Mitchell had downed two bottles of vodka and eight cans of strong lager over 24 hours when she lashed out at the three victims who had knocked on her door.

The 44-year-old  from Tunbridge Wells, in Kent, flew into a rage when five Jehovah's Witnesses called at her flat to discuss the Bible.



I had them today and I just said a polite no thanks. o.O

I always invite them back to see the error of their ways. That the Way of Pin is the Way.

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10 minutes ago, One percent said:

I had them today and I just said a polite no thanks. o.O

I often see churchy types on our street, along with weird groups of younger people with lanyards going from house to house. None stop at mine despite there being no direct signs or other obvious indications that I don't want to speak to anyone. If I can figure out what it is that eludes 'fuck off' from my house I'm sure I could market it :)

Edited by Cosmic Apple

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Just now, Cosmic Apple said:

I often see churchy types on our street, along with weird groups of younger people with lanyards going from house to house. None stop at mine despite there being no signs or other obvious signs that I don't want to speak to anyone. If I can figure out what it is that eludes 'fuck off' from my house I'm sure I could market it :)

Bottle it and sell it. xD

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3 minutes ago, Cosmic Apple said:

I often see churchy types on our street, along with weird groups of younger people with lanyards going from house to house. None stop at mine despite there being no direct signs or other obvious indications that I don't want to speak to anyone. If I can figure out what it is that eludes 'fuck off' from my house I'm sure I could market it :)

Lanyards are mormons.

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I usually invite them in and ask them about their views on  homoousian Christology.

But I'd question the accuracy of the report:

Quote

...after they tried to convert her to Christianity...

I don't think they ever really try.  I doubt anyone has ever been converted on the doorstep in the UK, at least since the revised, revised end of the world in 1914*.

The evangelism inherent in Jehovah Witnesses is a bit troubling, as they seem to be doing it not to spread their love of their religion, but more as a task that must be done in order to achieve salvation -- in that it doesn't seem to be very pleasant and appears to me to be a selfish activity.

*The world didn't end.  It also didn't end in 1918. 1925, 1975, or 'sometime between 1975 and 2000'.

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I’d also question the quality of journalism in this report as no Christian church (or if understand correctly the JWs themselves) regard them as Christian. The certainly don’t adhere to a number of the key doctrinal principles that unite all Christian churches. It’s about as accurate as calling Muzzers or Jews Christian.

Edited by Melchett

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1 minute ago, Melchett said:

I’d also question the quality of journalism in this report as no Christian church (or if understand correctly the JWs themselves) regard them as Christian. The certainly don’t adhere to a number of the key doctrinal principles that unite all Christian churches

To be fair to the JW's, they consider themselves to be the only Christians and think that all the regular Christians since about the 3rd century have been apostates.

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2 minutes ago, dgul said:

To be fair to the JW's, they consider themselves to be the only Christians and think that all the regular Christians since about the 3rd century have been apostates.

“Splitters!”

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1 hour ago, One percent said:

I had them today and I just said a polite no thanks. o.O

Yes, I do the same. I've long got past the stage of pretending to listen for 5 minutes.... no point wasting their time or mine.

We also get Pikey evangilists, similar MO to the Jobos - smartly dressed women but whereas the Jobos look like butter wouldn't melt the Pikeys have a sultry, slutty look. They are really just checking out who is in or not and what stuff there is to nick. The lord helps those who help themselves and all that... and boy do they help themselves around here!

Edited by davidg

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Just now, davidg said:

Yes, I do the same. I've long got past the stage of pretending to listen for 5 minutes.... no point wasting their time or mine.

It helps that the Labrador behaves like a rabid Rottweiler. :)

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2 minutes ago, One percent said:

It helps that the Labrador behaves like a rabid Rottweiler. :)

We've got a "devil's" Lab next door, I thought they were supposed to be nice dogs? Came into my garden the other day and barked at me until I chased it out.

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Just now, davidg said:

We've got a "devil's" Lab next door, I thought they were supposed to be nice dogs? Came into my garden the other day and barked at me until I chased it out.

They are lovely but if anyone comes to the door it barks. Like a rabid dog. :)  great for getting rid of unwanted door knockers. 

Would not hurt a fly though, not that I tell ‘em 

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At uni I shared a house with one lad who took bible study extremely seriously..   when the doorbell went it was like watching a preying Mantis pouncing on a cricket.

Three hour interrogations were not uncommon..

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5 hours ago, One percent said:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5609147/Drunk-woman-downed-lager-attacking-Jehovah-Witnesses.html

A drunk woman who attacked a group of Jehovah Witnesses on her doorstep with a claw hammer after they tried to convert her to Christianity  asked her for a regular direct debit donation has avoided jail time.

Kerry Mitchell had downed two bottles of vodka and eight cans of strong lager over 24 hours when she lashed out at the three victims who had knocked on her door.

The 44-year-old  from Tunbridge Wells, in Kent, flew into a rage when five Jehovah's Witnesses called at her flat to discuss the Bible  ask her to fill a plastic bag with clothes.



I had them today and I just said a polite no thanks. o.O

?

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10 hours ago, Cosmic Apple said:

I often see churchy types on our street, along with weird groups of younger people with lanyards going from house to house. None stop at mine despite there being no direct signs or other obvious indications that I don't want to speak to anyone. If I can figure out what it is that eludes 'fuck off' from my house I'm sure I could market it :)

A previous occupant probably had your house put on the no call list.

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For the first time ever I had some Roman Catholic door-steppers calling at my house. A very nice devout old Irish couple. I told them I was Church of England and they said 'Oh well...that's something!'

I remember my mother saying something similar to a Jehovah's and the lady's face fell and she said 'Oh...well that's nice...'

I think if you have a little bit of religion, they see it as you being sort of 'innoculated' against them.

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If you want to get rid of Jehohav's Witnesses quickly and permanently, just the say the following:

"I've just moved here from X (pick somewhere a long way away) where I used to be a Witness but left a few months ago."

I was told this by an ex JH I worked with 30 years back and have used it successfully in two different countries since.

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26 minutes ago, TheBlueCat said:

If you want to get rid of Jehohav's Witnesses quickly and permanently, just the say the following:

"I've just moved here from X (pick somewhere a long way away) where I used to be a Witness but left a few months ago."

I was told this by an ex JH I worked with 30 years back and have used it successfully in two different countries since.

Probably - I seem to recall they're not allowed to speak to apostate members. 

I've also heard they're not allowed to speak to Roman Catholics. 

I'd love to know what their success rate is from door-stepping. I imagine it's close to zero percent. 

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