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3 minutes ago, stokiescum said:

could you not put everything from your garage in your liveing room for a week or two,she wont ever do it again.trust me.

xD I keep my Stihl chainsaw in the bedroom. GF has got used to it.

(Having had two nicked)

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14 minutes ago, the gardener said:

The upshot of this is that my brand new shiny rotavator is stuck behind this garage door. My only option is to take it out via the kitchen, hallway and front door. It has a transport wheel but weighs over 55 kg. .


Too wet here to rotavate.

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21 minutes ago, the gardener said:

Well I've just spent my Sunday buggering about with a roller garage door. This was occasioned by my wife failing to FUCKING LISTEN to simple instructions. Having had to travel home from work on three occasions to unjam/release/otherwise fix the knackered roller shutter on our garage I have given her strict instructions to ALWAYS watch the door opening/closing in case it sticks etc. This I do ALL THE TIME, not because I'm some kind of autistic fucking Rain Man who likes to watch roller shutters operating but because it's an old bit of machinery that is prone to sticking. The consequences of fucking off after having pressed the open/close button and letting the motor push/pull against a stuck/obstructed door are that the tubular motor will FUCKING BREAK YOU STUPID WOMAN! THAT'S WHY I STAND THERE LIKE A FUCKING LEMON WATCHING THE FUCKING THING UNTIL IT STOPS! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

The stupid part of the design is that the manual opening mechanism operated by a handle which drives a metal toothed gear (quality - not plastic rubbish) unfortunately only serves to turn axle via the motor itself. Since something internal to the tubular motor is fucked beyond recognition - I'm guessing there's another cog inside somewhere with teeth more utterly fucked than Shane McGowan's, the result is that as soon as a load is applied the motor just spins uselessly. Why oh why not have a cog on the outside of the axle that is turned by the crank handle, i.e bypassing the motor entirely. No that would be too easy.

The upshot of this is that my brand new shiny rotavator is stuck behind this garage door. My only option is to take it out via the kitchen, hallway and front door. It has a transport wheel but weighs over 55 kg. Also I shudder to think what kind of awful fucking mess it is going to make of my brand new engineered wood floor in my hallway, which incidently still doesn't have door threshold trims or skirting boards fitted. That would be because I've been fucking spending all day cocking about with trying to get the garage door closed (it was stuck open proudly displaying all my shiny new machinery to every pikey in the neighbourhood) and then removing the slats, axle and motor followed by a couple of hours researching on the web for a suitable replacement motor.

None of what I did today regarding the garage door was necessary.

I have also failed to go to the gym as planned.

I will be going to the pub tonight. Woe betide that wife of mine if she dares to even look slightly disapproving when I leave for my unwinding pub trip later.

Go on, admit it, you just love watching the thing go up and down. :)

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10 minutes ago, Hopeful said:

xD I keep my Stihl chainsaw in the bedroom. GF has got used to it.

(Having had two nicked)

Excellent, a lot more effective than a screwdriver.

Pull,whirr,putter,putter,rrrrrrrrr.splatter.splatter.

Pikey,pikey,chunkey,chunkey.............

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No help but ours sticks too so you have to stop it going up too far as when closing it sometimes needs a tug downwards to get it going. So if I allow it to go all the way up, I can't reach it to pull it without a step ladder.

Apparently there is some sort of manual process to open/close if the power goes down but we haven't worked out how yet.

Maybe that's why the previous owners had an ancient generator (massive) in an open air shed just next door? 

We had decided that it probably wouldn't work after years of neglect so we got rid of it to a little local scrap man who was so delighted that we were giving it away. (To anyone who had the machinery necessary to lift and transport it! ) 

He asked "how much "(money) in French when he arrived to look at it. Husband assumed we were discussing how much we'd have to pay him to take it away! So, some confusion to start with until he realised it was a gift, he became quite emotional as he was an old codger and said in 30yrs that was the very 1st time anyone had given him anything for free. (So he even took the family of field  mice who were happily nesting inside  without a murmur - we only realised they were in there when he opened a hatch to see the state of the parts!)

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Posted (edited)
12 minutes ago, Chewing Grass said:

Excellent, a lot more effective than a screwdriver.

Pull,whirr,putter,putter,rrrrrrrrr.splatter.splatter.

Pikey,pikey,chunkey,chunkey.............

Yep, my thinking, and it's conveniently accompanied by a Stihl pressure washer xD

(and a few other Stihl tools)

Smell of petrol can get a bit overpowering sometimes

Edited by Hopeful

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37 minutes ago, the gardener said:

Well I've just spent my Sunday buggering about with a roller garage door. This was occasioned by my wife failing to FUCKING LISTEN to simple instructions. Having had to travel home from work on three occasions to unjam/release/otherwise fix the knackered roller shutter on our garage I have given her strict instructions to ALWAYS watch the door opening/closing in case it sticks etc. This I do ALL THE TIME, not because I'm some kind of autistic fucking Rain Man who likes to watch roller shutters operating but because it's an old bit of machinery that is prone to sticking. The consequences of fucking off after having pressed the open/close button and letting the motor push/pull against a stuck/obstructed door are that the tubular motor will FUCKING BREAK YOU STUPID WOMAN! THAT'S WHY I STAND THERE LIKE A FUCKING LEMON WATCHING THE FUCKING THING UNTIL IT STOPS! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

The stupid part of the design is that the manual opening mechanism operated by a handle which drives a metal toothed gear (quality - not plastic rubbish) unfortunately only serves to turn axle via the motor itself. Since something internal to the tubular motor is fucked beyond recognition - I'm guessing there's another cog inside somewhere with teeth more utterly fucked than Shane McGowan's, the result is that as soon as a load is applied the motor just spins uselessly. Why oh why not have a cog on the outside of the axle that is turned by the crank handle, i.e bypassing the motor entirely. No that would be too easy.

The upshot of this is that my brand new shiny rotavator is stuck behind this garage door. My only option is to take it out via the kitchen, hallway and front door. It has a transport wheel but weighs over 55 kg. Also I shudder to think what kind of awful fucking mess it is going to make of my brand new engineered wood floor in my hallway, which incidently still doesn't have door threshold trims or skirting boards fitted. That would be because I've been fucking spending all day cocking about with trying to get the garage door closed (it was stuck open proudly displaying all my shiny new machinery to every pikey in the neighbourhood) and then removing the slats, axle and motor followed by a couple of hours researching on the web for a suitable replacement motor.

None of what I did today regarding the garage door was necessary.

I have also failed to go to the gym as planned.

I will be going to the pub tonight. Woe betide that wife of mine if she dares to even look slightly disapproving when I leave for my unwinding pub trip later.

I’m sure you’re a lovely man mr gardener but your rant has reminded why I find singledom better.

No one to blame but me when anything doesn’t go well in life!

 

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48 minutes ago, the gardener said:

Well I've just spent my Sunday buggering about with a roller garage door. This was occasioned by my wife failing to FUCKING LISTEN to simple instructions. Having had to travel home from work on three occasions to unjam/release/otherwise fix the knackered roller shutter on our garage I have given her strict instructions to ALWAYS watch the door opening/closing in case it sticks etc. This I do ALL THE TIME, not because I'm some kind of autistic fucking Rain Man who likes to watch roller shutters operating but because it's an old bit of machinery that is prone to sticking. The consequences of fucking off after having pressed the open/close button and letting the motor push/pull against a stuck/obstructed door are that the tubular motor will FUCKING BREAK YOU STUPID WOMAN! THAT'S WHY I STAND THERE LIKE A FUCKING LEMON WATCHING THE FUCKING THING UNTIL IT STOPS! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

The stupid part of the design is that the manual opening mechanism operated by a handle which drives a metal toothed gear (quality - not plastic rubbish) unfortunately only serves to turn axle via the motor itself. Since something internal to the tubular motor is fucked beyond recognition - I'm guessing there's another cog inside somewhere with teeth more utterly fucked than Shane McGowan's, the result is that as soon as a load is applied the motor just spins uselessly. Why oh why not have a cog on the outside of the axle that is turned by the crank handle, i.e bypassing the motor entirely. No that would be too easy.

The upshot of this is that my brand new shiny rotavator is stuck behind this garage door. My only option is to take it out via the kitchen, hallway and front door. It has a transport wheel but weighs over 55 kg. Also I shudder to think what kind of awful fucking mess it is going to make of my brand new engineered wood floor in my hallway, which incidently still doesn't have door threshold trims or skirting boards fitted. That would be because I've been fucking spending all day cocking about with trying to get the garage door closed (it was stuck open proudly displaying all my shiny new machinery to every pikey in the neighbourhood) and then removing the slats, axle and motor followed by a couple of hours researching on the web for a suitable replacement motor.

None of what I did today regarding the garage door was necessary.

I have also failed to go to the gym as planned.

I will be going to the pub tonight. Woe betide that wife of mine if she dares to even look slightly disapproving when I leave for my unwinding pub trip later.

think she's taught you a lesson, lol

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1 minute ago, Fossildog said:

I have a double garage with an electric roller door. It works fine. Hope this helps.

I've got doors that open like normal doors, on a hinge.  There's very little to go wrong.

[I put them in deliberately -- the garage is at an angle to the road, so with an up'n'over or roller door passing traffic could see in -- this way the doors block the view.]

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1 minute ago, dgul said:

I've got doors that open like normal doors, on a hinge.  There's very little to go wrong.

[I put them in deliberately -- the garage is at an angle to the road, so with an up'n'over or roller door passing traffic could see in -- this way the doors block the view.]

Mine came with the house when I bought it. Would not put them in myself but there is something quite satisfying in pressing a button and having the garage open. The house faces onto farmland so not really an issue with people looking in.

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23 minutes ago, Fossildog said:

Mine came with the house when I bought it. Would not put them in myself but there is something quite satisfying in pressing a button and having the garage open. The house faces onto farmland so not really an issue with people looking in.

There's probably a camoflaged man in a tent with a long range lens.o.O

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2 hours ago, sarahbell said:


Too wet here to rotavate.

Here too but it's forecast to be good weather all week so by Wed/Thurs I was hoping to use it in anger.

I may push my wife in front of it and rotavate her into my plot the way I'm feeling 😣

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5 hours ago, the gardener said:

Well I've just spent my Sunday buggering about with a roller garage door. This was occasioned by my wife failing to FUCKING LISTEN to simple instructions. Having had to travel home from work on three occasions to unjam/release/otherwise fix the knackered roller shutter on our garage I have given her strict instructions to ALWAYS watch the door opening/closing in case it sticks etc. This I do ALL THE TIME, not because I'm some kind of autistic fucking Rain Man who likes to watch roller shutters operating but because it's an old bit of machinery that is prone to sticking. The consequences of fucking off after having pressed the open/close button and letting the motor push/pull against a stuck/obstructed door are that the tubular motor will FUCKING BREAK YOU STUPID WOMAN! THAT'S WHY I STAND THERE LIKE A FUCKING LEMON WATCHING THE FUCKING THING UNTIL IT STOPS! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

The stupid part of the design is that the manual opening mechanism operated by a handle which drives a metal toothed gear (quality - not plastic rubbish) unfortunately only serves to turn axle via the motor itself. Since something internal to the tubular motor is fucked beyond recognition - I'm guessing there's another cog inside somewhere with teeth more utterly fucked than Shane McGowan's, the result is that as soon as a load is applied the motor just spins uselessly. Why oh why not have a cog on the outside of the axle that is turned by the crank handle, i.e bypassing the motor entirely. No that would be too easy.

The upshot of this is that my brand new shiny rotavator is stuck behind this garage door. My only option is to take it out via the kitchen, hallway and front door. It has a transport wheel but weighs over 55 kg. Also I shudder to think what kind of awful fucking mess it is going to make of my brand new engineered wood floor in my hallway, which incidently still doesn't have door threshold trims or skirting boards fitted. That would be because I've been fucking spending all day cocking about with trying to get the garage door closed (it was stuck open proudly displaying all my shiny new machinery to every pikey in the neighbourhood) and then removing the slats, axle and motor followed by a couple of hours researching on the web for a suitable replacement motor.

None of what I did today regarding the garage door was necessary.

I have also failed to go to the gym as planned.

I will be going to the pub tonight. Woe betide that wife of mine if she dares to even look slightly disapproving when I leave for my unwinding pub trip later.

How long have you been married? And you still expected your missus to listen to that kind of instruction? They have a built-in resistance to listening to anything you say. The only way I have discovered that is foolproof is to find a woman’s health or lifestyle magazine with tips in that are the same as what you actually want, this way she will read it out to you one evening without the slightest idea you mentioned it 6 months ago, but it didn’t come from you so it enters the brain.

A magazine that says watch your garage door might be tricky to find though.....

 

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ok,my kitchen sinks cold water taps not working do i 

a...go a fix it,its probably a simple washer

b just use the bathroom cold tap has i live in a terrace ie 8ft away and i only need fill the kettle every other day

 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, swissy_fit said:

How long have you been married? And you still expected your missus to listen to that kind of instruction? They have a built-in resistance to listening to anything you say. The only way I have discovered that is foolproof is to find a woman’s health or lifestyle magazine with tips in that are the same as what you actually want, this way she will read it out to you one evening without the slightest idea you mentioned it 6 months ago, but it didn’t come from you so it enters the brain.

A magazine that says watch your garage door might be tricky to find though.....

 

😀

I know she doesn't listen. Not a word ever gets through. She believes anything  her friends say, no matter how absurd or utterly mental, is the absolute gospel of Christ himself.

I may have been a liitle over-annoyed today but then I had stood by and watched at the antics last night at the dinner table when the other half tried to deal with a flaming tea towel (yes it was actually on fire). Why did this need attending to? Well that would be because

1) She left the fucking hob on again. If I tell her to have a routine of always checking to see that it's turned off after use then apparently I'm just an awful person.

2) She left a tea towel on it.

I have told her that the hob is NOT A FUCKING WORKTOP! but it makes no difference. I find all sorts of flammable (inflammable?) objects of our hob, laptops containing lithium batteries for example (laptops also double up as shelves in my wife's mind).

I am actually Satan made flesh if I ever mention that perhaps placing objects that are not sauce pans etc on the hob is unwise.

Anyway I sat there and continued to eat my dinner whilst the wife grabbed the uneccesarily burning rag and opened the window to throw it out, failing to do so and depositing the burning towel on the window sill half in and half out of the window. The smoke alarms went off, the youngest daughter was shreiking, the dog was hareing around barking and the wife was in a flap asking me to do something. I asked her why on earth you threw it out the window when you had to reach over a perfectly good sink with a working tap to open that window.

Nope, if you're going to be so stupid ad to leave hobs on and also place flammable objects on it then I'm afraid you own the chaos and damage that ensues. I'm going to eat my dinner whilst it's hot. The smell of burning tea towel ruined the meal somewhat mind.

She did moan that the alarm in the kitchen didn't trigger though. I thought that I might explain that it's only triggered by heat and her little conflagration didn't create enough heat to activate it but I thought what's the point? I'm still can't get her to do simple stuff so explaining technical things to her would be futile. I may as well tell the dog.

Edited by the gardener

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8 hours ago, the gardener said:

 This I do ALL THE TIME, not because I'm some kind of autistic fucking Rain Man who likes to watch roller shutters  I'm guessing there's another cog inside somewhere with teeth more utterly fucked than Shane McGowan's, the result is that as soon as a load is applied the motor just spins uselessly.

Shane's choppers are perfect.

 Picture: BBC

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, the gardener said:

😀

I know she doesn't listen. Not a word ever gets through. She believes anything  her friends say, no matter how absurd or utterly mental, is the absolute gospel of Christ himself.

I may have been a liitle over-annoyed today but then I had stood by and watched at the antics last night at the dinner table when the other half tried to deal with a flaming tea towel (yes it was actually on fire). Why did this need attending to? Well that would be because

1) She left the fucking hob on again. If I tell her to have a routine of always checking to see that it's turned off after use then apparently I'm just an awful person.

2) She left a tea towel on it.

I have told her that the hob is NOT A FUCKING WORKTOP! but it makes no difference. I find all sorts of flammable (inflammable?) objects of our hob, laptops containing lithium batteries for example (laptops also double up as shelves in my wife's mind).

I am actually Satan made flesh if I ever mention that perhaps placing objects that are not sauce pans etc on the hob is unwise.

Anyway I sat there and continued to eat my dinner whilst the wife grabbed the uneccesarily burning rag and opened the window to throw it out, failing to do so and depositing the burning towel on the window sill half in and half out of the window. The smoke alarms went off, the youngest daughter was shreiking, the dog was hareing around barking and the wife was in a flap asking me to do something. I asked her why on earth you threw it out the window when you had to reach over a perfectly good sink with a working tap to open that window.

Nope, if you're going to be so stupid ad to leave hobs on and also place flammable objects on it then I'm afraid you own the chaos and damage that ensues. I'm going to eat my dinner whilst it's hot. The smell of burning tea towel ruined the meal somewhat mind.

She did moan that the alarm in the kitchen didn't trigger though. I thought that I might explain that it's only triggered by heat and her little conflagration didn't create enough heat to activate it but I thought what's the point? I'm still can't get her to do simple stuff so explaining technical things to her would be futile. I may as well tell the dog.

 

All I can say is that I'm dead envious of you

 

 

 

she must have an 11/10 body

 

(I'll get me coat)

Edited by Hopeful

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