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Frank Hovis

Amusing or interesting local news stories

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26 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Not really local news but I was somewhat bemused to have this pop up as 'breaking news' on the So-Called BBC app.

Either it's a very slow news day or somebody dropped a bollock.

Sweden: Used car advert helps unemployed man land his dream job - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-25813215

the So-Called BBC are a fucking disgrace.

Here's the real story.

Story_zps8arayyqc.jpg

Source :- http://www.mestmotor.se/automotorsport/artiklar/?skribent=628

Why do we have to pay for these fucking wankers?

Crash_zpssakc5s1l.jpg

 

Quote

After carefully evaluating and deliberative regarding suspension and comfort, it was time to test the steering response and steering feel on a winding road test team often made use of for just that moment. After making frequent bilbyten it was time for me to drive the Chevy, the car I had driven at least during the day.

It is dark and the snow smoke from Ford before me dizzy despite low speeds. "Nice and easy now Nils," I say loud in my loneliness. A crest is approaching, hard right, the car's lights still pointing straight up toward the trees, steep downhill followed by a left cross. I brake, but will remember not to slow down too hard, turn the steering wheel ... The car continues straight ahead! Directly in front of me I see now northern hemisphere thickest oak coming straight towards me. I let go completely on the brake and just trying to avoid head-on collision with a tree. I almost hear the bark of the tree planes of a silk thin layer of chromium from the rearview mirror, and for a fraction of a second time, I think I avoided a head-on collision and the car will land softly on the field.

With a crash and a bang , I feel my last two weeks of uplifting success runs off me from the face, along the back and down into the leather seat and finally lands on the floor.

I am sitting in the middle of a field and hear in the radio link - "Car of the road, a car off the road." Shame makes me melt and I am just so flows from the seat of the car to behold the devastation. Not a scratch on the driver's side. "Phu", I think. Maybe it was just the tow bar which got a hit? Walking around the gigantic grill, a plastic detail hanging underneath, I see. Not so bad, is certainly to run on ... Then I see the passenger side, so there will probably not look like there were fold there before, the footrest really disappear into the car on the way?

 

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Sat nav sends 91-year-old woman down Plymouth steps

Oops2web23123.jpg

 

http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/sat-nav-sends-91-year-old-woman-down-plymouth-steps/story-30314754-detail/story.html

 

I have some sympathy for this one as my sat nav told me to turn up a metalled path that actually is a road for the initial few yards (so people can get to their garages) but then has a metal handrail down the centre and narrows.

Lucky that I knew it and wasn't following diirections in the dark and the rain.

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I have recently purchased a SatNav. It is best to think of it as advice, and not the "word of God". Helpful in some circumstances. It did suggest I go up a road"unsuitable for vehicles".

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7 minutes ago, MrPin said:

I have recently purchased a SatNav. It is best to think of it as advice, and not the "word of God". Helpful in some circumstances. It did suggest I go up a road"unsuitable for vehicles".

I actually respond "no chance" and ignore it when it directs me up a road with grass growing down its centre.

Edited by Frank Hovis

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1 hour ago, Frank Hovis said:

Sat nav sends 91-year-old woman down Plymouth steps

Oops2web23123.jpg

 

http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/sat-nav-sends-91-year-old-woman-down-plymouth-steps/story-30314754-detail/story.html

 

I have some sympathy for this one as my sat nav told me to turn up a metalled path that actually is a road for the initial few yards (so people can get to their garages) but then has a metal handrail down the centre and narrows.

Lucky that I knew it and wasn't following diirections in the dark and the rain.

I've been taken on my fair share of 'scenic routes' by sat-navs, however, on this one, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it was more to do with her age than the sat-nav.

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17 minutes ago, East London Guy said:

 

Ilford firefighters use grinder on man’s privates after he got sex aid stuck

http://www.ilfordrecorder.co.uk/news/ilford-firefighters-use-grinder-on-man-s-privates-after-he-got-sex-aid-stuck-1-5002400

 

O.o

 

 

The only person I know from Ilford has a philosophy degree. I'm sure he is wise enough not to make that mistake.

Edited by MrPin

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Greggings.

nintchdbpict000322232532-e1494236716974.

 

Quote

 

YOU can now buy leggings emblazoned with the Greggs logo.

The tight fitting leggings, or “Greggings” as they’ve been called, are completely covered with the blue and white Greggs logo – as well as their slogan “Always Fresh, Always Tasty”.

 

 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3507162/greggings-greggs-leggings/

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Local club in Eastleigh is hosting Nigel Farage on sunday night, some "activist" is organising a protest. v

Community activist urge people to boycott The Concorde Club after they host Nigel Farage

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/15271073.Angry_protesters_urge_boycott_of__ridiculous__Nigel_Farage_show/

Someone pointed out in the comments that a man with the same name was convicted of sex offences against young girls in Landford near Salisbury in 2011 v 

http://www.salisburyjournal.co.uk/news/9225774.Landford_man_gets_four_years_for_sex_assaults/

Edited by WorkingPoor

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"Huge" haul of cigarettes found in car

15999623-large.jpg

Police officers found this huge haul of cigarettes, suspected to have been imported illegally.

The find was made following the search of a vehicle on the A30 near Clyst Honiton on Thursday.

Police discover ALL the illegally imported cigarettes in car search

I assume the journalist has never known a proper smoker.  I worked with a 60 a day man and by my reckoning that's 140 packets so about a month and a half's worth.  Plenty could argue that's for personal use.

 

 

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17 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

"Huge" haul of cigarettes found in car

15999623-large.jpg

Police officers found this huge haul of cigarettes, suspected to have been imported illegally.

The find was made following the search of a vehicle on the A30 near Clyst Honiton on Thursday.

Police discover ALL the illegally imported cigarettes in car search

I assume the journalist has never known a proper smoker.  I worked with a 60 a day man and by my reckoning that's 140 packets so about a month and a half's worth.  Plenty could argue that's for personal use.

If I was a copper and saw criminals driving a car with a personalised plate "Road Crime Unit", I would stop them too!

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Shouldn't laugh.....

Mum and daughter were ridden like horses and licked staff's feet in cruel prank at Poundworld


 

Quote

 

Naomi Desmond, 24, and mum Pamela, 55, were told they could win £3,000 if they took part in a competition but ended having to carry out a series of embarrassing tasks.

They had been asked to take part by the manager - who had been told to close the store for a staff training exercise by what turned out to be a prank caller.

The manager was told the exercise involved entering two members of the public into the competition - and Naomi and her mother were the only shoppers in the store in Barnstaple.

The manager and another member of staff were told to tie string around Naomi and Pamela's ears, throw water over them, draw on their faces with pens and make them crawl around the store on their hands and knees.

The mother and daughter were also ridden like horses around the store and told to lick the staff's feet.

Throughout the hoax Naomi and her mother were referred to by the two female members of staff as "ugly and "beast" and in return had to refer to the manager as "beautiful lady".

"I started to think this was a scam and my mum then mentioned this to the staff and eventually we left saying if this was a prank we would want compensation," she said.

"The manager asked to take my number and promised to let me know what happened," she said.

Naomi then received a call on her mobile from the prank caller.

"The manager must have been contacted by him again and given him my number," she said.

"He said to go back to the store and when you arrive, you have to knock on the door on your hands and knees. You have 10 minutes left to win the money."

Naomi and her mother then returned as did as instructed and the ordeal continued for another half an hour. Eventually the manager of the store called the company's HR and was told to contact the police.

 

xD
 

Quote

 

Poundworld has apologised to the family and offered them a £200 Poundworld voucher.

"That was it. It's ridiculous," said Naomi. "We want to sue but we can't because the police don't know who it is," she said.


 

http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/mum-and-daughter-were-ridden-like-horses-and-licked-staff-s-feet-in-cruel-prank-at-poundworld/story-30347358-detail/story.html

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Poundworld has apologised to the family and offered them a £200 Poundworld voucher.

I wonder how many items you can get for that, in Poundworld?

Edited by eight

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This one is plumbing new depths of non-storydom.

 

Quote

 

Girl, 7, told she'll never be a mechanic - because she's female

Ambitious Mia Hosking has been told she won't be able to grow up to be a mechanic and banger racer - because she's a girl.

Dad David said: "Mia told me that she was sorry that she couldn't become a mechanic or banger race driver.

"She said someone at school said she couldn't do that as she's a girl."

 

And then the father went on Facebook to post this and got lot of "you go girl" inane comments and it is somehow a story.

That one kid at primary school (possibly) said something to another one is a story that gets published and is actually the fifth story on the Plymouth Herald homepage.   Two ahead of an obviously more trivial story: Biker airlifted to Derriford after being hurled off bridge in crash.

:Geek:

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/girl-7-told-shell-never-1367789

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