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Cunning Plan

The big BBQ thread

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Something a bit more lighthearted.

It is meant to be a cracking summer so we need to get those BBQ skills going.

No burnt sausages, burgers and M&S chicken wings.

Give up your best man-secrets.

I will start with my favourite easy side.

Make coleslaw with half a finely chopped cabbage, 2 grated carrots, as much mayo as you fancy and a good teaspoon of Sainsbury spicy chippotle chilli paste.

You will never buy instant coleslaw again.

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3 minutes ago, Dipsy said:

My best secret, cook everything in the bloody kitchen and take it outside. I hate the smell of BBQ fuel and burnt meat.

Gas BBQ and cook really slow and low. I am talking 25 mins for sausages.

Nothing will burn.

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Just now, Cunning Plan said:

Gas BBQ and cook really slow and low. I am talking 25 mins for sausages.

Nothing will burn.

I wish my neighbours would take note of this! I don't get BBQ's I have all the cooking equipment I need in the kitchen, I don't see the point in doing it in the garden.

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1 minute ago, Dipsy said:

I wish my neighbours would take note of this! I don't get BBQ's I have all the cooking equipment I need in the kitchen, I don't see the point in doing it in the garden.

It's just so much more relaxed. Everyone standing around with a drink and some nibbles, a bit of music on, all pitching in.

Just my favourite relaxed kind of meal.

So bugger off with your negativity 😁

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Have to admit that I can see that a disposable barbecue on the beach or somewhere might be fun but otherwise I’m not mad keen on cremating some processed meats on a grill in the garden.

Lucky I’m presumably unusual as I do sell a mountain of bags of charcoal although volumes have been declining for some time I do wonder if shrinking to non-existent gardens have something to do with it or if people have moved to gas.

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28 minutes ago, Cunning Plan said:

Something a bit more lighthearted.

It is meant to be a cracking summer so we need to get those BBQ skills going.

No burnt sausages, burgers and M&S chicken wings.

Give up your best man-secrets.

I will start with my favourite easy side.

Make coleslaw with half a finely chopped cabbage, 2 grated carrots, as much mayo as you fancy and a good teaspoon of Sainsbury spicy chippotle chilli paste.

You will never buy instant coleslaw again.

Can we tweak your nipples with a pair of tongs and slap your bottom with a fish slice for using that horrible Americanism "side"?

;-) x

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But I can stand around in my kitchen, in supreme isolation, quaffing a glass of wine, a'la Floyd, listening to my choice of music without everyone else interfering pitching in. I'm interested in the concept of cooking slowly - how would you do steaks as I always thought quick was best if you want rare to medium?

5 minutes ago, Goat said:

Smell that? You smell that? Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like… Victory

This would be fine, I could napalm the BBQing neighbours.

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34 minutes ago, Cunning Plan said:

Something a bit more lighthearted.

It is meant to be a cracking summer so we need to get those BBQ skills going.

No burnt sausages, burgers and M&S chicken wings.

Give up your best man-secrets.

I will start with my favourite easy side.

Make coleslaw with half a finely chopped cabbage, 2 grated carrots, as much mayo as you fancy and a good teaspoon of Sainsbury spicy chippotle chilli paste.

You will never buy instant coleslaw again.

Sexiest prig 

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4 minutes ago, Dipsy said:

But I can stand around in my kitchen, in supreme isolation, quaffing a glass of wine, a'la Floyd, listening to my choice of music without everyone else interfering pitching in. I'm interested in the concept of cooking slowly - how would you do steaks as I always thought quick was best if you want rare to medium?

This would be fine, I could napalm the BBQing neighbours.

I’ve just discovered a new way of doing steaks. Fry really high to seal in the juices then bang it in the oven really high again for about eight minutes. Got to be careful with timing on this as I did ten and it was well done rather than medium rare. 

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Just now, One percent said:

I’ve just discovered a new way of doing steaks. Fry really high to seal in the juices then bang it in the oven really high again for about eight minutes. Got to be careful with timing on this as I did ten and it was well done rather than medium rare. 

I always fry have got medium rare down to a fine art now. 

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10 minutes ago, Sucralose Ray Leonard said:

Can we tweak your nipples with a pair of tongs and slap your bottom with a fish slice for using that horrible Americanism "side"?

;-) x

Guilty as charged. So sorry.

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12 minutes ago, Dipsy said:

But I can stand around in my kitchen, in supreme isolation, quaffing a glass of wine, a'la Floyd, listening to my choice of music without everyone else interfering pitching in. I'm interested in the concept of cooking slowly - how would you do steaks as I always thought quick was best if you want rare to medium?

This would be fine, I could napalm the BBQing neighbours.

Depends on the steak but my basic rule is the more it cost, the quicker and hotter you should cook it.

I usually do sirloin. Start really hot but turn down to medium immediately. 2 minutes each side and then rest for 5.

 

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6 minutes ago, Dipsy said:

I always fry have got medium rare down to a fine art now. 

The oven technique has been a revelation in how to get it juicy and tender. Honest, it’s excellent 

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8 minutes ago, One percent said:

I’ve just discovered a new way of doing steaks. Fry really high to seal in the juices then bang it in the oven really high again for about eight minutes. Got to be careful with timing on this as I did ten and it was well done rather than medium rare. 

That's great for a perfect duck breast. Would be a very overdone steak for my vampire brood. Anything beyond rare and they get very uppity. (They have been well trained)

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1 minute ago, Cunning Plan said:

That's great for a perfect duck breast. Would be a very overdone steak for my vampire brood. Anything beyond rare and they get very uppity. (They have been well trained)

Just chuck it in for less time. Works with thick steak. I like a fillet. 

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1 minute ago, One percent said:

Just chuck it in for less time. Works with thick steak. I like a fillet. 

I love fillet, I would cry if I overcooked it. I don't trust the temperature of my oven - getting old needs replacing (the oven not me!).

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Just now, One percent said:

Just chuck it in for less time. Works with thick steak. I like a fillet. 

So do I but do you have any idea what my butcher would charge for that?

Four sirloins are £35 ffs

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Just now, Dipsy said:

I love fillet, I would cry if I overcooked it. I don't trust the temperature of my oven - getting old needs replacing (the oven not me!).

xD  leave it in for less time. I was impressed doing it that way. 

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1 minute ago, Dipsy said:

I love fillet, I would cry if I overcooked it. I don't trust the temperature of my oven - getting old needs replacing (the oven not me!).

I used to love cooking Filet Rossini.

Haven't done it for a while though.

Now can we get back to BBQs?

 

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1 minute ago, Cunning Plan said:

So do I but do you have any idea what my butcher would charge for that?

Four sirloins are £35 ffs

You need to find a new butcher. About eight quid for a really nice piece for me 

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1 minute ago, Cunning Plan said:

So do I but do you have any idea what my butcher would charge for that?

Four sirloins are £35 ffs

I get British organic fillet steak from Riverford - just over £16 and it's beautiful steak.

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34 minutes ago, Dipsy said:

My best secret, cook everything in the bloody kitchen and take it outside. I hate the smell of BBQ fuel and burnt meat.

Get a barbecue "chimney". Rolled up paper, some small pieces of wood, add charcoal, light and leave for 20 minutes or so and tip into the barbecue.....no smell of fuel and no long wait before you cook.

18 minutes ago, SNACR said:

I’m not mad keen on cremating some processed meats on a grill in the garden.

Cheap processed meats let alone the supermarket-prepared barbecue ribs/steaks/kebabs whatever and it will be awful however and wherever you cook it.

My favourite, a dry-spice rub on to a shoulder of pork, put into a very low oven for 5-6 hours then on to the barbecue and baste with homemade barbecue sauce while regularly turning the joint for 30-40minutes......wonderful!

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1 minute ago, Cunning Plan said:

I used to love cooking Filet Rossini.

Haven't done it for a while though.

Now can we get back to BBQs?

 

Oh alright, what are your favourite tongs?

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