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spygirl

Spoons v muzzers

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16 minutes ago, spygirl said:

Does anyone ever strip back and say - This is nuts.

Wouldn't that be the utterance if it was a boy?

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As cack as this story is - it did make me laugh mind.

Mainly by reminding me of a spoon related incident involving Mrs XYY that took place in the factory canteen a few years ago...

 

XYY

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7 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

As cack as this story is - it did make me laugh mind.

Mainly by reminding me of a spoon related incident involving Mrs XYY that took place in the factory canteen a few years ago...

 

XYY

You can’t leave it there. Go on, do tell 

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Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, One percent said:

You can’t leave it there. Go on, do tell 

:)

Trust me - by hinting at some kind of cutlery-based smut, I have already built it up way beyond its actual comedy value.

It is more of a "Last Of The Summer Wine" style anecdote than anything you'll read in Dear fucking Deidre...!

;)

 

XYY

Edited by The XYY Man
Apostrophe error corrected. Hopefully before Cunting Plan noticed...

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2 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

:)

Trust me - by hinting at some kind of cutlery-based smut, I have already built it up way beyond it's actual comedy value.

It is more of a "Last Of The Summer Wine" style anecdote than anything you'll read in Dear fucking Deidre...!

;)

 

XYY

Whatever. Spill. :)

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I once sold a car for a Krugerrand to a 1960s holiday rep that had been smuggled out of one country and into ours inside her ladies purse.

Fortunately gold is a noble metal and quite inert.

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58 minutes ago, Horrified Onlooker said:

I’ve spent many more hours in ‘Spoons than in Muzzers, and I’m happier for it!

Double bacon double egg hash browns sausage. Pint of Guiness.

21 minutes ago, Chewing Grass said:

I once sold a car for a Krugerrand to a 1960s holiday rep that had been smuggled out of one country and into ours inside her ladies purse.

Fortunately gold is a noble metal and quite inert.

Thats a massive purse.

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28 minutes ago, The XYY Man said:

 

OK - I did warn you.

If this post were from "Pulp Fiction" - then it's the Fox Force Five's "ketchup" joke...

 

A couple of years back, Mrs XYY was experiencing many of the symptoms associated with "the change" - and was trying all kinds of crazy shit to alleviate them.

I'm not kidding you - she bought all kinds of dodgy shite.

Evening Primrose Oil.

WTF...?

Is this somehow better than Morning - or maybe Early-Afternoon Primrose Oil....?

I don't think so.

But the best of all was the the magnet that you pin inside your knickers - that somehow cures you of all menopausal woes...!

I shit you not.

Here's a link if you don't believe me.

http://www.boots.com/ladycare-magnet-10077359

A bone fide "fanny magnet" - fnnaaar fnnaaarr...!!! - that you can buy from Boots for £39.99.

So she parts with the forty-quid - and basically gets one of them security tags they pin on clothes in ASDA with a big fuck-off magnet inside it.

She immediately attaches this to her gusset - and awaits the promised cure from her ordeal.

Next day she's at work - kitchen assistant at the factory canteen - and instead of her usual job behind the counter, the boss sends her out "front-of-house" to collect the plates and cutlery from the racks they are left in.

She picks everything off the racks, places them on the trolley to take to the sinks for the washer-up, and turns back towards the kitchen.

Everything was going so well, until a voice was heard above the general dinner-time chatter of the canteen.

"How Gloria..." came forth the cry from among the tables.

"...You've got a spoon dangling off your fucking minge pet"...!

I have neither seen, nor heard of, the fanny magnet ever since...

 

XYY

 

 

 

xD brilliant. I knew it would be a good story. That it involved snake oil and it’s salesmen just puts the icing on the cake 

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58 minutes ago, Chewing Grass said:

I once sold a car for a Krugerrand to a 1960s holiday rep that had been smuggled out of one country and into ours inside her ladies purse.

Fortunately gold is a noble metal and quite inert.

When you say ladies purse do you mean her actual purse or is that a euphemism?

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Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, Battenberg said:

When you say ladies purse do you mean her actual purse or is that a euphemism?

Mind you're one with a most singular wit, and a very deft turn-of-phrase there Batty.

Drier than Susan Boyle's fanny - if you don't mind me saying...

;)

 

XYY

Edited by The XYY Man

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3 minutes ago, Battenberg said:

When you say ladies purse do you mean her actual purse or is that a euphemism?

Euphemism for a means of smuggling that blokes don't have in the days before metal detectors.

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9 hours ago, The XYY Man said:

 

OK - I did warn you.

If this post were from "Pulp Fiction" - then it's the Fox Force Five's "ketchup" joke...

 

A couple of years back, Mrs XYY was experiencing many of the symptoms associated with "the change" - and was trying all kinds of crazy shit to alleviate them.

I'm not kidding you - she bought all kinds of dodgy shite.

Evening Primrose Oil.

WTF...?

Is this somehow better than Morning - or maybe Early-Afternoon Primrose Oil....?

I don't think so.

But the best of all was the the magnet that you pin inside your knickers - that somehow cures you of all menopausal woes...!

I shit you not.

Here's a link if you don't believe me.

http://www.boots.com/ladycare-magnet-10077359

A bone fide "fanny magnet" - fnnaaar fnnaaarr...!!! - that you can buy from Boots for £39.99.

So she parts with the forty-quid - and basically gets one of them security tags they pin on clothes in ASDA with a big fuck-off magnet inside it.

She immediately attaches this to her gusset - and awaits the promised cure from her ordeal.

Next day she's at work - kitchen assistant at the factory canteen - and instead of her usual job behind the counter, the boss sends her out "front-of-house" to collect the plates and cutlery from the racks they are left in.

She picks everything off the racks, places them on the trolley to take to the sinks for the washer-up, and turns back towards the kitchen.

Everything was going so well, until a voice was heard above the general dinner-time chatter of the canteen.

"How Gloria..." came forth the cry from among the tables.

"...You've got a spoon dangling off your fucking minge pet"...!

I have neither seen, nor heard of, the fanny magnet ever since...

 

XYY

 

 

 

Brilliant!  Seen the advert for them but never quite worked out what they were supposed to do.  Thank god wor lass never tried it!

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