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Austin Allegro

Threatening neighbour - advice needed

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I live in one of those small victorian back to back cottages. The one next door is very close with a communal passageway between us. Recently new tenants moved in and almost every day a man has been prowling up and down the passage between the front of the neighbouring house and the back, tapping on the window and saying in a threatening manner 'open the f*cking door and let me in' etc.

I probably wouldn't notice if I was out working or had the windows closed but I work from home and in this warm weather I have the window open.

From what I can work out he is the ex and she has moved there to get away from him. The other day they had a shouting match in the street and she told him to 'get out of her life for good' etc. 

Then the other night in the early hours of the morning there was more shouting and he was prowling around for about 10-15 minutes, rattling the door knobs and saying things like 'there's  nothing you can do about it, don't you dare call the police or you'll regret it' etc.

I've caught a glimpse of the man and if I am correct, he is someone who was in the local paper up before the magistrate for drug dealing and general dodgyness - not the sort of man I want to tangle with.

Now, this does not particularly bother me personally - I have no desire to get involved or to 'white knight' for the woman, if she likes 'bad boys' that is her lookout - but I have relations with young children staying sometimes, as well as elderly relations, and something like this would be very scarey for them in the middle of the night. My main concern is that I should not have my peace and quiet disturbed by this person. 

My first instinct was to call the police, leave out any other details except that a prowler was on the property trying the doors of the neighbouring house. It is a remote rural area though and would probably take 20-30 mins for the police to arrive, and the man would probably assume the ex had called them, which might complicate matters. I don't particularly want to confront him in person either, as mentioned he is a bit of a dodgy character and once I put my head over the parapet I could easily become a target. 

Hopefully it will blow over but I wondered if any Dosbodderers had any experience of this sort of thing?

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1 minute ago, Inoperational Bumblebee said:

No experience, but how many other neighbours are there? Would it be obvious it was you who called the police?

There are other houses around, but mine is the closest and the only one that directly overlooks the neighbours. There is another house about fifty yards away which has a direct view of the back door of the house in question, so it would not necessarily be me that called the police. It's not just the two houses in the middle of nowhere if that's what you mean.

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Just now, eight said:

Move?

Haha yes, have already thought about that but unless I moved to a detached house in a remote location (almost impossible to find in southern England at an affordable price) I would just be moving to another similar place with similar risks. 

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Appear to be completely oblivious to his clear pyschopathic tendencies and be nice to him, he won't expect this and it'll put you in control of the situation then do as above and report him to the police on the QT. 

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1 minute ago, longtomsilver said:

Appear to be completely oblivious to his clear pyschopathic tendencies and be nice to him, he won't expect this and it'll put you in control of the situation then do as above and report him to the police on the QT. 

Yes this was the sort of thing I had in mind - a quiet word with the ward constable rather than dialling 999. If he is who I think he is, then he is already known to the police anyway.

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My mate has a doorbell with a movement-triggered camera in it that records on a cloud-based loop using his wifi. It didn't cost that much and is discreet, I could perhaps find out the name of the system if interested. Very clear pictures and sound that you can look at on your phone.  Seems to me if the woman gets that and presents the videos to the police, the problem will go away.

 

 

 

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Theres the non 999 line to the police.

Ring it. Give them your concerns.

 

These sort of thins tend to end up wiht one or two dead people. Three is someone else gets involved.

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4 minutes ago, swiss_democracy_for_all said:

My mate has a doorbell with a movement-triggered camera in it that records on a cloud-based loop using his wifi. It didn't cost that much and is discreet, I could perhaps find out the name of the system if interested. Very clear pictures and sound that you can look at on your phone.  Seems to me if the woman gets that and presents the videos to the police, the problem will go away.

 

 

 

Thanks would be interested to know more about that. I've been thinking of getting something similar for my property to keep an eye on it while I am away.

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How long has it been going on for?

My first thought is just to ignore it for a while..  jilted lover..  bit of a tiff going on..  he'll eventually get the message and it will all blow over.  

If it goes on for more than, say, 6 months then I'd be more inclined to get involved,  either by having a word with the girl or speaking to the police. I don't imagine there's probably a lot that the police will do though to be honest,  unless she takes out some sort of restraining order against him.

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Maybe Crimestoppers or something similarly anonymous?

I have heard stories of the police being indiscreet on these matters; e.g. going and having a word with the crim and then straight away going to the complainant to inform them that they have had a word.

Play up the woman on her own angle and use "vulnerable" and "at risk" as this ticks their boxes for doing something (as if something happens and they haven't done anything then they get a disciplinary).

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Posted (edited)
49 minutes ago, Austin Allegro said:

I live in one of those small victorian back to back cottages. The one next door is very close with a communal passageway between us. Recently new tenants moved in and almost every day a man has been prowling up and down the passage between the front of the neighbouring house and the back, tapping on the window and saying in a threatening manner 'open the f*cking door and let me in' etc.

I probably wouldn't notice if I was out working or had the windows closed but I work from home and in this warm weather I have the window open.

From what I can work out he is the ex and she has moved there to get away from him. The other day they had a shouting match in the street and she told him to 'get out of her life for good' etc. 

Then the other night in the early hours of the morning there was more shouting and he was prowling around for about 10-15 minutes, rattling the door knobs and saying things like 'there's  nothing you can do about it, don't you dare call the police or you'll regret it' etc.

I've caught a glimpse of the man and if I am correct, he is someone who was in the local paper up before the magistrate for drug dealing and general dodgyness - not the sort of man I want to tangle with.

Now, this does not particularly bother me personally - I have no desire to get involved or to 'white knight' for the woman, if she likes 'bad boys' that is her lookout - but I have relations with young children staying sometimes, as well as elderly relations, and something like this would be very scarey for them in the middle of the night. My main concern is that I should not have my peace and quiet disturbed by this person. 

My first instinct was to call the police, leave out any other details except that a prowler was on the property trying the doors of the neighbouring house. It is a remote rural area though and would probably take 20-30 mins for the police to arrive, and the man would probably assume the ex had called them, which might complicate matters. I don't particularly want to confront him in person either, as mentioned he is a bit of a dodgy character and once I put my head over the parapet I could easily become a target. 

Hopefully it will blow over but I wondered if any Dosbodderers had any experience of this sort of thing?

You could always put my wheelie bin in the passage.

 

But what would I do?

I might speak to the woman "was there someone causing a fuss in the passgae yesterday?" and see what she says

Next time he comes around I would 'busy myself outside" and be chatty.

If it goes on more than a month I'd have a pleasant word with the guy to say firmly that you've noticed that he is around a lot as you work at home, if he should ask what you do you could lie and say casually, that you work as a civi for the police.

If it continues I'd inform the police as he is creating a nuisance on your property

Edited by Hopeful

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Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

The police won't do anything unless someone gets seriously assaulted, perhaps even knifed. If you end up being the one who called the police on this guy and he ends up in a process of arrest, magistrate's court, etc, then the police may well be obliged to inform him of who made the allegation against him.

It is best to not get involved in any way between them as you have no idea of their history. She may be a perfectly decent person trying to escape something bad. Then again she might have done this half a dozen times already waiting for some gullible knight in shinning armour to come to her rescue and then she eventually ends back with bad boy because he pulls all her right strings.

If you have any kind of community police the best bet would be a quiet world to inform them of the situation. They may already be aware of it or you might get some feedback on what not to do.

 

 

12 minutes ago, eight said:

So totally this. There's a good chance, if you get involved, that she will turn on you too.

 

That really does depend on how much of a nuisance they are to 'me' too.

If the person is disruptive to me, I would need to do something. And, I would be prepared for any consequences. If it went on for more than a few months I'd prefer consequences to me than to suffer in silence.

As for the woman, and perhaps you

It is true as @The Masked Tulip said that the police won't do anything until there is a physical assault. That is different to protecting a neighbour however, as @Sgt Hartman has just written below.

Having had a stalker myself for 7 years (one so bad that the GF won't be in the house without the outside doors locked; I refuse to be so intimidated), the police have told me they won't intervene, they ask if I have been physically assaulted yet and say that only if I'm attacked will they will do something - thanks*.

 

*Ironic that they will clamp down on online and face to face verbal abuse in other cases

Edited by Hopeful

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Gah. Shit neighbours...got that T-shirt in every size.

I'd be looking at getting some film, motion activated camera or some such and definately getting on to the police. My experience with plod when it came to dealing with scum neighbours was very positive and if he's a known shitbag then they should take it seriously.

From my experience people like that don't tend to go away, they escalate and come to a head in a myriad of different forms. I'd nip it in the bud now.

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I'd leave them to it, I intervened once when a guy was thumping his missus (town centre, taxi rank), almost got beaten up by her, six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Things like this usually calm down on their own, however sometimes, like the 4 kids burned to death in Salford recently, silly disputes can escalate alarmingly and the innocent can get roped in.

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Cheapest and simplest solution might be a desk fan.  Window closed and then don't need to  get involved and still be conformable whilst working.

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2 questions.

1) Do you have Children

2) what is your build/appearance like?

 

If the answer to question 1 is yes, then mind your own business (in the nicest possible way)

If the answer to question 1 is no, and the answer to question 2 is brick shit house and look like a pikey, then just flatten the cunt and threaten to flatten her too if she turns.

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